Military Nesties
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Single Friends?

Has anyone had a change in the dynamic of your relationship with your single friends after you got married?

I feel like we're going through that right now and it's kind of sad.  A few people warned me about it but I somewhat blew it off and feel a little caught off guard.

Anyone else experience this?

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Re: Single Friends?

  • Yes. I didn't think it would happen, but there's definitely been a change in the way we interact.
  • Not really. My "single" friends were all in long term relationships, and the ones that aren't already married are engaged at this point. I have seen it happen with some of my friend's friends.

    image Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • Haven't noticed any difference.  We only have a couple single friends now.  I have noticed a difference in one of my BMs.  We rarely talk anymore.  We had a big fight after the wedding about her drinking.  We went to a party there a couple weeks ago and she was wasted when we got there at 7:30.  We never do anything together that doesn't involve drinking.  and I'm not talking about a drink or 2 with dinner.  It's more like a fifth of vodka for her.
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  • My really really good friend (no longer best) and I are definitely not as close anymore. I know everyone says that, but I think in my case it's true. She really hated when I found DH and realized I was getting married/starting a life with him and really held it against me for awhile. It has just never been the same. She can't relate to me, I can't relate to her.
  • image shelley1002:
    Haven't noticed any difference.  We only have a couple single friends now.  I have noticed a difference in one of my BMs.  We rarely talk anymore.  We had a big fight after the wedding about her drinking.  We went to a party there a couple weeks ago and she was wasted when we got there at 7:30.  We never do anything together that doesn't involve drinking.  and I'm not talking about a drink or 2 with dinner.  It's more like a fifth of vodka for her.

    Now that you say this I think I've found a root to part of the problem.  We have one friend who has been single for several years.  We never do anything with him that doesn't have heavy drinking involved and when we don't want to drink hardcore we're "no fun" or "old and married".  I feel like this has been a growing source of tension for the last few months, even before we got married.  I feel like we getting compared to another married couple that continue to drink heavily with him.  There's nothing we can really do about it...we're past that point in our lives for the hard core partying every single Friday, Saturday and Sunday.  My body just can't handle it.  The friendship took a huge nosedive this past week and I doubt we'll still be speaking to this friend and most likely this other couple by the time my husband deploys this summer.  It's very sad...I really didn't see this resentment coming.

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  • image kristane:
    My really really good friend (no longer best) and I are definitely not as close anymore. I know everyone says that, but I think in my case it's true. She really hated when I found DH and realized I was getting married/starting a life with him and really held it against me for awhile. It has just never been the same. She can't relate to me, I can't relate to her.

    This is also another source of tension for us.  This friend and the couple can't understand that our family responsibilities come first after any military obligations.  They know that DH is away because of Army training but can't understand why we would want to spend time with our families or God forbid by ourselves when he is free.  But if the situation is flipped and we invite them and they have family or other plans they get no grief from us.  It's very selfish and one-sided.  The married couple have crappy families so they don't want to spend as much time as we do with our families nor do they like to spend time by themselves very much and the single friend is just constantly looking to find people to party with.

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  • image Sgt M's Wife:

    image kristane:
    My really really good friend (no longer best) and I are definitely not as close anymore. I know everyone says that, but I think in my case it's true. She really hated when I found DH and realized I was getting married/starting a life with him and really held it against me for awhile. It has just never been the same. She can't relate to me, I can't relate to her.

    ?the single friend is just constantly looking to find people to party with.

    I have noticed this is an issue with my single friend(s) and I. I'm not really a partier anymore, I don't go out too often, etc., they don't get it, and their social life seems to revolve around going out to bars, etc.?

  • Yes, it happened to me. I think it happens anytime you go through a "life change" or a "mile stone" those things happen. I think it will happen again when we have a baby- distance between my friends that aren't at that stage in their life yet. I think it's just part of life.
    [IMG]http://i79.photobucket.com/albums/j156/baileyflores/kidssmall.jpg[/IMG]

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  • image 12bailey18:
    Yes, it happened to me. I think it happens anytime you go through a "life change" or a "mile stone" those things happen. I think it will happen again when we have a baby- distance between my friends that aren't at that stage in their life yet. I think it's just part of life.

    I think my DH and I are somewhat guilty of this.  Friends of ours moved oru of state right after they got married and told us they were pregnant back in September and I think we lost touch with them because they were busy with baby related things and we just didn't get it.  It also didn't help that the friends mentioned is the previous posts were feeling the same way...so we kind of blamed the soon-to-be parents of ignoring us. I have actually started reconsidering that entire situation recently and I told DH that I feel very guilty about it.

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    [url=http://akathewife.com/]Also Known As...the Wife[/url][/center]
  • I'm only 20, so most of my friends are single and now most of them rarely talk to me.  The only single friends my husband and I have now are the ones we've met after we got married who are all in the AF.  My closest friend was dating a guy in the Army for a while, but when they broke up, it's like she had nothing left to talk to me about, I guess that's just how things go.
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