My MIL moved down to KY to live near us while we were stationed there. I objected because I knew we'd eventually relocate and she wouldn't be able to follow us everywhere we'd move (which in the military is quite often). So husband rented a truck and moved her stuff from WI to KY. I believe we out of pocketed at least half the expenses. She wanted to live with us but it just didn't work out because she was tearing my husband and I apart. She rented several different homes/apartments and my husband moved her stuff each time. She did have a job when she lived near us. Right before we got orders to move to WA state she met a man and married him. That marriage crumbled after we moved to Germany. For two years she was paranoid that he was stalking her and she moved time and time again from one state to another (KY, TX, AZ) to live with relatives or friends and restart her life. She even carried a gun. She left all her household goods in a storage facility in KY. It never worked out for her because she's a difficult person to live with. She would leave on her own terms or get kicked out (happened several times). Basically, she made people feel like she was taking advantage of them and freeloading off of them. As of recently she moved back to WI and lived with my husband's father and step-mom for several months until they had to ask her to leave. She moved out, got a job, and is renting an apartment. I suggested to my husband that we move her stuff back to WI since nobody else will. She has been paying over $100 to keep her belongings in storage for over a year now. Eventually, I know he's going to end up doing it anyways because she's talked about how expensive it is for her to keep her stuff in storage. Since we recently relocated to GA and will be passing through KY on our way up to WI, we plan on stopping along the way, loading her stuff in a U-haul, and bringing it up there. Of course his mother is very happy. But I'm a little annoyed. She will be paying for the truck and the gas however, I'm stuck driving behind my husband in a car that I'm not really comfortable driving for 8 hours (especially through Chicago). I'm a small person and the car is much bigger than what I'm used to driving. It's the vehicle my husband always drives to work. I suggested we put the car on a trailer so that way my husband, son, and I could all ride together. I told him we can pay for the trailer. My husband doesn't want to change the plans because he said he would have to upgrade everything which would end up costing his mother possibly an extra $400 to $500. The original truck he reserved only seats two people (which I didn't know).
Although I can see where he's coming from, in a way I don't really agree. He is moving her stuff for at least the 5th time now. And he's always done it for free. Plus we have lended her money in the past and she's never repaid us the full amount. We have helped her out a lot. He doesn't want to ask his mother if she can pay for the upgrade so we can all travel together. I'm not sure how to feel about this. I feel that if she wants her stuff (which she does) she should be willing to upgrade because even though it will cost her she'd be paying way more than $1,000 if she hired an actual moving company.And from all the times she's moved I'd be surprised if she really cares how much this would cost her since she puts everything on credit anyways. But then I feel selfish for thinking that way. We are not in the financial situation to pay for this move. Originally we had planned to just drive up together to visit family. Since it's summer and really the only time he'll have leave until December, my husband and I agreed now is the best time. How would you handle this situation? I'm feeling a little bitter towards my husband because I told him that he isn't ever afraid to say no to me but can only say yes to his mom. I can't think of anyone in my family who would move my stuff for free. I know it's a mess my husband and I got ourselves into for moving her down there in the first place but then again who gets away with moving that many times for free? I'm pretty sure my own son wouldn't have a problem with telling me he's not going to move my stuff that many times. I don't even think his mother would say no to upgrading, I think it's my husband who doesn't want her to have to pay more money than what she is already going to pay. He is feeling sorry for her. He basically feels I should just suck it up and follow him up to WI to save his mother the money on the truck. I told him the least she could do is pay a little extra for all the times he's moved her for free. There has been other issues in the past where he's made me feel this way and I feel like we're drifting apart.