I love my step son and his daughter, but he became a parent at 19-years-old and has never stood on his own two feet. He is now 25 with two children by two different mothers, neither his wife. He and his then pregnant fiance and my step granddaughter have lived with us repeatedly, not to mention he and his daughter's mother lived with my husband before we were married. We are contacted last minute for overnight stays and what is offered as a one-on-one visit with my five year old step granddaughter, only to find out it really is a matter of them not choosing to have child care. They live in another city hours away. My step son's fiance seems to not have any responsibility for his first daughter, although they have been engaged for over a year. His fiance has very little responsibility in that she is over 20 with no high school diploma or job or intention for either. My contact with her is now limited due to her lack of gratitude and understanding for the sacrifices we have made for them - housing them for free for months at a time repeatedly, and we hadn't even celebrated our second anniversary. My step son is my husband's only child from his first marriage. I am his second wife and going crazy picking up and cleaning and doing laundry for them and last minute child care for the last time. I have no chldren of my own, so of course, I love my step son and his children, but at a certain point I think it is time he learned to stand on his own two feet and not expect us to literally care for them, clean for them, house and feed them anymore. I have warned my husband that I cannot take the stress of this, and if they move in with us again, it very well could cause either a nervous breakdown or separation. Now due to such a harsh winter our very old home is falling apart around us and my stepson wants us to take the five year old on her spring break from school because his fiance wants to take their baby with fiance's mom to another state at that time without the five year old. The five year old seems left out a lot, and normally we would love to see her, but with tubs and tarps and leaking roofs, and furniture pushed into rooms to avoid water damage, we really do not have the best situation at this time. To complicate things even more, my husband had a stroke and is still recovering, and I have major depression that seems to have reared it's ugly head shortly after we became married. I love my husband, but I can't take the stress of my step son's inability to be a responsible adult anymore. I need weeks in advance notice for visits from his family due to the many appointments we have scheduled regarding both of our health. My step son gives me less than 24 hours notice, sometimes even the day of an impromptu visit they will say they want to stay the night, instead of letting us plan and clean and prepare for them. I can not take it, and it is causing me great distress. Any suggestions on how to delicately communicate no room at the inn?