DH has been a little distant lately, we haven't seen much of each other, and communication was kind of lacking so I sat down with him and asked him what was going on. Well this opened a whole can of worms and long story short he told me he loves but but isn't in love with me. He doesn't think we have anything in common, doesn't feel any passion or connection anymore, and just isn't happy. I knew things weren't great between us but I wasn't expecting to hear this. We've been together over 10 years. My first instinct was to come up with a resolution to fix our marriage. I told him he's my whole world and I want to grow old with him. He didn't say anything so I asked if he felt the same way and he stated that right now he didn't. I feel so heartbroken.
We agreed to work on trying to have fun together and spend more time together. We just bought a house a few months ago and have a 1 year old which takes up most of our time. DH also has a long commute and works a lot so we don't see each other much during the week. We went on a date that weekend and it went well, we had a good time. But since then I've been the only one putting in effort to improve things. We talked again last night because he hasn't been sleeping well so I asked what's been on his mind. He told me he appreciates all the little things I have been doing but he's just not happy and doesn't even want to try to fix things. It's like he's just checked out. He says he loves me but doesn't feel the connection between us. He doesn't know what he wants and is not sure how to fix things. I suggested he talk to his married friends about what he's feeling or even a therapist who can help him sort through his feelings. He said he's not interested in anyone else and doesn't even have time for that and I believe him. We get along fine, never argue, I treat him good, we have a house, and family. I don't understand why he feels this way and that's the hardest part. Yeah we lost some of the spark but I think we can fix things, if he's willing to try.
I thought we were just in a rut as many new parents are. I thought if we spent more time together and tried to bring the excitement back into our lives things would get better but I'm getting the feeling that he's just past that point of even caring. I also get the feeling he is depressed; his work schedule is crazy and he hardly gets any free time to himself. If he's not happy with his own life how can he be happy in other areas. I just don't know what to do. I feel so angry, sad, and empty inside like I'm losing my best friend. I want to save our marriage, especially for our daughter.
Does anyone have any kind words of advice? How do we fix things? Is counseling the best way?