I’d love some advice on moving forward (I have to, for my
My parents really wanted to throw a post-wedding brunch for us so that we could say good-bye to everyone. It wasn’t anything huge – and we only planned to stay for an hour or so – but it meant a lot to us to have that opportunity.
Unfortunately, his parents really disagreed with this idea (his mother told my parents that it was a “stupid” idea and that newlyweds “needed the time alone together”). My husband and I had a long talk and decided – together – that we wanted to go to the brunch.
I guess his parents really thought it was a dumb idea… the night of the wedding, they tampered with our car so that we’d be stuck at the hotel the next day. His sister – who had just been my maid of honor –sent my family text messages to let them know that they felt “I was forcing my husband to go to this brunch and they needed to protect him.”
My first day as a married woman was spent in tears. I felt so targeted.
I know his whole family knows – one of them tried to joke about it online – and my husband did speak with his family about respecting us as a married couple. To my horror they blamed me and my family for this when confronted. I honestly thought I had a really good relationship with his family.
To date, none of them have approached me, acknowledged what occurred,
or apologized to me or my family for the hurt they caused. I’ve told my husband that absolutely will not try to put him in the middle -- I cannot do that to him -- and that I will work very hard to keep an open and polite relationship. But it sucks, and it's hard because I'm still hurt (and, oddly, nervous... I really don't understand why they'd think I mistreat/control him. He doesn't understand that, either -- I'm a big believer in being a team).
I've talked with my husband a little, but I don't want to keep putting him in the middle of something that happened two months ago. Do you guys have any advice for sorting this out internally? Every time I hear from them it hurts just a little bit again. Do I just try to be open and let time heal everything completely?