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What does a man mean by we are on different pages

I was dating a man I was crazy about for two plus years.  What would happen is we had the best dates with him taking me out and the sex was the best I ever had.  We laughed and talked and it was wonderful for me.  But then he would not contact me after the date.  We would go out and then I would not hear anything for weeks sometimes!  He and I even went away.  One week he would want to see me three times and then another week I would hear nothing from him.  When I tried to contact him he always responded immediately back.  He told me he was just busy with his family (he was a single parent to several young children).  I was OK with that.  He said he was just seeing me.

I fell for him.  I was sad when he never asked me out on a holiday or for Valentine's Day.  He would see me the day before.

I was asked out by a new man and started seeing him telling the man that I meet someone new.  Then the new guy broke up with me in a few weeks.

I miss the man I was seeing for so long.  I texted him that I missed him and he said to me he and I were on "two different pages"  What does that mean?  

I am looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, monogamy, some type of consistency, at least a warm text during the week, and some holidays together.  He said he was "not looking for an emotional attachment"

I always wondered if he had another woman.  He lived with family.  He never introduced me to family or friends and I when I wanted to mail something post breakup to his home he did not want me to.  

What are your ideas?  Thanks.  


Re: What does a man mean by we are on different pages

  • Sounds to me like you are the other woman.....
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    TarponMonoxide
  • jtmh2012 said:
    Sounds to me like you are the other woman.....

    This is exactly what I was thinking. He isn't a single dad w/ young kids. He's a MARRIED dad and the "family" he lives with is probably his WIFE and kids.
    nyc artistTarponMonoxidenurse714crimsonsaffron
  • Yeah, when men don't contact you for prolonged periods of time, you are the other woman.  I've been there done that and it was so difficult for me to accept.  I finally ended things because I couldn't handle the emotional roller coaster, not because I actually believed I was the other woman, despite my friends and family trying to tell me that I was.  Months later I ran into him and his actual girlfriend.  Besides it being to most absurdly dramatic moment of my life, I also realized that there had been so many signs that I had ignored.

    I also realized this: I deserved to be someone's first priority.  I didn't deserve to be the person that someone turned to when something better wasn't around.  

    Then I met my husband and we couldn't wait to spend time together.  We were each other's first priority from the start because we were both so into one another.

    You are wasting time and energy on this guy.  He's not "the one".  You could be out there trying to find "the one" instead of wasting time and energy on someone who doesn't deserve you.
    TarponMonoxide
  • If he says you're on different pages then it means you want different things in life and it's time to move on. It sounds like his main focus is his kids, which is should be especially since you're not married. Depending on his work depends and then his schedule with his kids, he just doesn't have the time to add in a serious relationship either. I have several co-workers that are single mom's who have ended relationships with guys because the guys want more time then they can give him because they are working full time, taking care of their kids and homes. It doesn't leave much free time. I don't see why a single dad, even if he doesn't have sole custody of a child can't be busy too. Lots of single dads are very active in their kids lives. And spending holidays with someone with kids can be iffy because I know some of my friends were in relationships for a long time before the SO got to meet the kids. The single parent did as a way to protect the child. And for the not giving you his address after the breakup, he may have had concerns that would be you become a crazy stalker & show up at his house uninvited if you knew where he lived. Not saying you are a crazy stalker, but I'm sure you've heard stories in the news or from friends about ex's that won't go away, they usuually turn out bad. Enjoy the memories you had with him and move on and enjoy life and look for someone who is looking for the same thing you are.
    TarponMonoxide

  • I also realized this: I deserved to be someone's first priority.  I didn't deserve to be the person that someone turned to when something better wasn't around.  

    Then I met my husband and we couldn't wait to spend time together.  We were each other's first priority from the start because we were both so into one another.


    100% this. 

    And even if it just a matter of being busy with his kids - you dated him for over TWO years.  That's a damn long time to be dating when he's putting you on the back burner.

    TarponMonoxide
  • edited January 2015
    mbpdep said:
    I was dating a man I was crazy about for two plus years.  What would happen is we had the best dates with him taking me out and the sex was the best I ever had.  We laughed and talked and it was wonderful for me.  But then he would not contact me after the date.  We would go out and then I would not hear anything for weeks sometimes!

    My goodness --- I can't see why you want to be with a guy who is so evasive and non communicable!

    A guy who is crazy about you will take every opportunity to get a chance to talk to you. Sorry, but this guy was never into you. When he pulled this nonsense on you the first time, you needed to say goodbye to him.

    He and I even went away.  One week he would want to see me three times and then another week I would hear nothing from him.  When I tried to contact him he always responded immediately back.  He told me he was just busy with his family (he was a single parent to several young children).  I was OK with that.  He said he was just seeing me.

    The Pope is not even that busy.

    And if this is not the classic sign of a dirty dog called "the married man", I don't know what is....

    I fell for him.  I was sad when he never asked me out on a holiday or for Valentine's Day.  He would see me the day before.


    I would have explained nothing to Mr. Never Around:

    I was asked out by a new man and started seeing him telling the man that I meet someone new.  Then the new guy broke up with me in a few weeks.

    I miss the man I was seeing for so long.  I texted him that I missed him and he said to me he and I were on "two different pages"  What does that mean?  

    That is a poilte way of telling you to get lost.

    Very likely this bum was married. That he never saw you on a holiday is the big give away!

    I am looking for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship, monogamy, some type of consistency, at least a warm text during the week, and some holidays together.  He said he was "not looking for an emotional attachment"

    If a guy says that to you, it usually means "Sex partner only!"

    I always wondered if he had another woman.  He lived with family.  He never introduced me to family or friends and I when I wanted to mail something post breakup to his home he did not want me to.  

    What are your ideas?  Thanks.  


    I'm gonna give it to you straight:

    YOu suck at attracting a decent guy -- a decent single guy --- who truly wants a dating relationship with a decent nice woman.

    You are hot on the trail of the married bums, the unavailable and a guy who wants a quick sexual fix. That's the only guys you are dating: where is the nice guy who is very single and available; who wants to be with you all the time??? I don't see a shred of evidence that he is alive and well in your life!

    when a guy doesn't take you to his apartment, home or condo and if you do not meet his immediate family or you do not meet any of his friends, this is a bum: a married man.

    And if not married, he is already deeply involved with somebody

    Drop a shithead like that like the proverbial hot potato and bad habit.

    What you need to do:

    1-Drop this last bum -- the one who is never around and the one who cannot seem to remember his address when he is with you. He is good for nothing at all.
    2-Get yourself to a counselor: Stay with that counselor until you get the idea that a nice and decent guy who is dating eligible (NOT MARRIED, in other words) is the right kind of guy and the only guy for you to date.
    3-Take a dating hiatus until you get a counselor's work under your belt. Date nobody until you spend a good chunk of time with thqta professional --- or else you will keep seeing the bums and nogoodnicks who are only good for a possible STD (who says he is dating only you? You are probably not the only sidepiece) and is only good for nothing.

    Heed my advice, if you are smart. And use your head for something other than a hatrack. You are continually choosing the wrong men!

    I don't know where you are meeting these guys but i will bet it is not where decent men will be available for the meeting.

    When you get this mess straightened out (yes, with the help of a counselor) try places where a decent guy will be fouind: volunteer for a good cause! Do you like sports? Join a coed team or sign up for something like coed tennis lessons. Take evening classes, try your house of worship (you might be lucky enough to find a singles group that meets at that house of worship --- there are social activities attached to these groups And if not your parish or whatever it is you attend, try another denomination; tons of churches host young singles groups. You need not be of that denomination to join; all are usually welcome!) --- take some classes that are related to your field of work.

    You might also try your local theatre group -- even if you are not an actress or actor, community theater groups need people to volunteer to help out with behind the scenes activities.

    Ask your good girlfriends, coworkers, neighbors and more "Do you know a nice man looking to meet a nice woman?" That would be YOU! Get them to introduce you to somebody they can vouch for where they know the guy's not some kind of fly by night or bum.:)  
    Disneygeek77
  • Yeah, you need to have higher standards for yourself.  That or you are one of those poor souls that believes drama and confusion is somehow romantic and exciting.  

    Please take Tarpon's advice and seek out a professional who will give you the skills to decipher between a good man and a bad one.  
  • edited January 2015

      

    How is it exciting to be continaully put on and gotten over on by a guy who has a shady background?

    YOu are avoiding commitment and responsibility by dating these shady married characters.

    You went away with one of them? I an only imagine the line of crap he gave the wife when it came time for him to do that romantic interlude with you.

    Be with a guy who wants to be with you.:)
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