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My husband is the pickiest eater in the world!!!!

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Re: My husband is the pickiest eater in the world!!!!

  • Yeah, I'm definitely going to have to agree with everything that's already been posted.  Whether he's picky or not, he doesn't have to act like such a jerk about it.  Does he cook?  I would make whatever you want and if he doesn't want it, he can make his own dinner.

    For me personally, this would be a dealbreaker.  H and I love cooking together and trying new things and food is a huge part of our relationship - socially, recreationally and health-wise.  I don't think I could even handle dating someone who not only has your h's views on food but who can't even express his preferences in a grown up way.

    image
  • We have a very simple rule in our household (which works both ways) that I adopted when trying to cook and appease my family (mom, dad, sister) when I was loving at home and my job was to cook dinner:

     

    You can eat what I fix, you can make your own dinner, or you can go hungry.  I'm not cooking x number of dinners.

  • My SO is truly allergic to everything.  It makes life very difficult.  I spent many meals stressed that I was going to kill him.

    As a child (and adult), he didn't know exactly what he was allergic to; nuts and seafood can be deathly but unsure of the others.  After he met me, he finally got tested and we have "the list."  He was very afraid to try anything but a few very generic things from years of bad food reactions.  I can only have pasta and butter so many times.

    After a lot of coaxing and convincing that he wasn't going to die, he has started to try new things.  I get very frustrated and irritated sometimes because I have to leave so many ingredients out of recipes but have learned how to work around it. 

    His "I don't eat tomatos" really means "I'm allergic to tomatos and they burn through my stomach."  OK but I can use a small amount of marinara to make vodka sauce -- presto, "new" recipe that he loves.  "I don't eat cheese" actually meant "I'm allergic to cheese" and with some research discovered very aged cheese is OK.  Alfredo sauce.  Loves it.

    The ironic part, my friends all think I'm an amzing cook.  I view it as an obstacle course and somehow I will make a recipe that won't kill him, he will eat, and like it.

    Anyway my point is...  maybe its more than "I won't eat..."  Then find the real medical parameters to cook around.  GL because I feel your pain.

     

  • imoanimoan member
    10000 Comments Eighth Anniversary
    image *lily*721:

    My SO is truly allergic to everything.  It makes life very difficult.  I spent many meals stressed that I was going to kill him.

    As a child (and adult), he didn't know exactly what he was allergic to; nuts and seafood can be deathly but unsure of the others.  After he met me, he finally got tested and we have "the list."  He was very afraid to try anything but a few very generic things from years of bad food reactions.  I can only have pasta and butter so many times.

    After a lot of coaxing and convincing that he wasn't going to die, he has started to try new things.  I get very frustrated and irritated sometimes because I have to leave so many ingredients out of recipes but have learned how to work around it. 

    His "I don't eat tomatos" really means "I'm allergic to tomatos and they burn through my stomach."  OK but I can use a small amount of marinara to make vodka sauce -- presto, "new" recipe that he loves.  "I don't eat cheese" actually meant "I'm allergic to cheese" and with some research discovered very aged cheese is OK.  Alfredo sauce.  Loves it.

    The ironic part, my friends all think I'm an amzing cook.  I view it as an obstacle course and somehow I will make a recipe that won't kill him, he will eat, and like it.

    Anyway my point is...  maybe its more than "I won't eat..."  Then find the real medical parameters to cook around.  GL because I feel your pain.

     

    Let's not start making excuses for this manchild.  YOUR H has a legitimate reason for not eating certain foods.  The OP's H is an immature, selfish twit who's arteries are probably completely blocked.

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • His attitude about it was completely immature.  I did want to ask, does his parents eat this way?

    I know for me, when I was younger, I had a very limited diet.  Unhealthy as your husbands to boot.  A big part of that was how my mom cooked for us when I grew up.  Potatoes and carrots were the only veggies I remember.  There was always junk food in the house and so that's what I ate.  Tons of packaged foods etc.  I had never ate any other way, so all those other foods weren't "good" to me.  I would make "salads" without lettuce (meat, cheese, and dressing)

    It took years, but now I eat spinach, bell peppers, balsamic dressings, salmon, green beans, asparagus etc.  That's huge and it took 1. getting sick 2. trying out variations of recipe's.

    I'd sit down and talk to your DH adult to adult, away from dinner time.  Tell him that others have had to change their diets, and it's a transition, but eventually he'll wonder why he ever ate like a 5 year old, when there are so many delicious foods out there that are healthier.  I still eat pizza, and burgers, but now one my favorite meals is salmon and asparagus.  It can happen.  I and it sounds like he, just know of no other way.

  • Man, people are getting bent out of shape over a picky eater.  You've all obviously never had to deal with picky eaters before in any real way.  Just because he doesn't like any food just makes him annoying, not a horrible person hellbent on ruining his wife's life.

    My dad is a picky eater.  Not this bad, but pretty bad.  He is still pretty awesome.  My brother-in-law is a picky eater, about this bad.

    What do we do at dinners together?  NOTHING.  Whoever makes the food has the call.  Occasionally my mom will make requests for my dad, but they live together just the two of them so she doesn't mind compromising.  If BIL doesn't like the food?  He doesn't eat.  If my dad doesn't like the food?  He eats something else.

    My sister cooks for herself almost exclusively, and if BIL does not like it, he eats something else or goes hungry.  It's not a slight against her or anything FFS.  He's not trying to ruin anyone's life or make anyone miserable, he's just eating like a damned 5 year old because that's how he was raised.

    So you have two simple, non-divorce worthy solutions (which I would combine.)

    1.) Compromise.  Sometimes make boring plain food you both like.  It will be nice to be able to eat the same thing.  On other days, make whatever the hell you want, screw your DH.  He can try something different every now and then and he won't die.  At worst he'll skip a meal. Woopty freaking doo.

    2.) Eat separately.  Cook one-person meals for yourself, keep frozen one-person dinners or pizzas in the freezer for him.  Go out to eat.

  • Woops, I missed where your husband cries and moans about new foods - something neither my dad or BIL does.  Hence the d-bag claims.. which are increasingly more accurate.

    Tell him "too bad, so sad" and continue making different foods, promising to compromise or go out to eat 3-4 times a week.  Otherwise, tell him he's on his own.  Don't cook for a man who doesn't appreciate you.

  • I don't believe in fighting about things like this.  DH and I sometimes like different things.  I'm a bit more health conscious about food than he is.  So, I boil 2 pots of water and make him his angel hair and me my WW pasta.  If it's not too much trouble, I do it.  I also make lots of leftovers so that he can have the leftovers of something while I eat something different.  As long as he is appreciative and helps out with the cooking or the cleaning, I am willing to accomodate.  but, he's not a baby about it, so that probably helps.  And, if I explain to him why I made something a certain way, he is usually accomodating to me b/c he wants to support me.  Have you explained to him that making separate meals for him is a problem for you?  does he care?
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • I'm sorry, having a somewhat picky hubby myself (though his repertoire is more like 12-15 meals), I definitely don't mean to belittle. But your title made me smile, sitting next to threads about divorce =)

    Anyway I just wanted to second the advice to let him fend for himself. Every now and again if there is something I really want to try, I give DH warning that morning, I cook and he usually eats cereal. (although, over time, he has gotten a little braver and will usually at least taste things...every now and again he even eats them haha!).

    This is also exactly how I got over being a picky kid...I went on a class trip in high school and Hello, suddenly I had to eat what was served or go hungry. Within a couple of days, I had an entirely new outlook on eating Stick out tongue

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  • Has the OP even responded?
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  • Cook whatever you want and let him fend for himself. Either he'll cook what he wants or he'll eat what you make. I'm a pretty picky eater but I compromise for my SO. For example, we BBQ a lot in the summer because I can have chicken and he can have another meat (steak, pork, fish, etc) that I don't typically eat. I would never expect someone to alternate between 5 very specific meals. That's unhealthy, boring, and unappetizing. Just make what you want and he can take it or leave it.
  • I'd like to offer a somewhat alternative view to the replies I've seen here.

    I have been a picky eater my whole life. I stopped eating meat at age 8 due to texture, and will not eat much of anything other than potatoes, cheese, and penne pasta with thin sauce. Being this way is not by choice, or not the result of being a "baby." I have tried to eat other foods but have not had much success. I have managed to add a couple of foods every year or so to my "menu," however, the range is still small. When I eat out, there is usually only one menu item that I can eat.

    There is a disorder commonly seen in autistic children called Food Selectivity disorder. There is not a lot of research on it, and there is very little said about the disorder in adults. However, some people are more sensitive to texture of foods than others. For me, this is not "being a baby," it's the reality of if I put something in my mouth that is not a texture I like, doesn't look a way I like, or even a smell I do not like (anything seafood does it for me) the result can be anything from gagging to throwing up. It is a reflex that I cannot control. It could be possible that your husband is describing something similar in himself.

    I do think your husband's reaction of anger is a little extreme, however, people with this kind of sensitivity (such as myself) are usually very defensive as a result of criticism and lack of empathy throughout a lifetime of dealing with this. Our culture is heavily based on food, as are most holidays. This "pickiness" is usually not a choice; it is something that can't be helped.

    My suggestion is this: Make what you want for yourself and if you wish, make what your husband wants. In the meantime, encourage him to seek professional help for his situation. Hypnotherapy is a proven solution for many who need help losing weight, quitting smoking, or have other issues. It is something I plan to try for myself as soon as I have the funds. At the very least, a psychologist can address his aversion to certain foods and work with him to be more open to different foods. Here's an article from psychology today:

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200701/the-grown-picky-eaters-club

    I do not know your husband so I can't say whether he falls into this category. However, it is something to consider. Good luck and I hope you find a solution to your problem.

  • Also, the theory of "letting them go hungry and eventually they will change their minds" does not work for people in this situation. I went hungry on almost all of my school trips and eventually brought my own lunch to practically everything. Now when I attend places where I'm not sure if I will like something, I eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich beforehand. It's not always just being stubborn.
  • This sounds like my husband... However I have been married 3 years and well things are a slightly different in a few areas. My husband is the pickiest eater in the entire world BUT he does not flip out on me if I variate, if he doesn't like it he does not eat it. He even cooks me things I like when I don't feel well, that we both know he won't eat. Two he has allergies as do I so to a degree our pickiness is not so odd, he's allergic to strawberries, onions, I am allergic to peanuts and shellfish. He doesn't like sea food so it works out well lol. We are both lactose intolerant. 

    I would ever so politely tell your husband either quit being a baby or your done cooking for him, the meals he enjoys can easily be purchased at any drive through so tell him go get it.

    My husband and I battled about food preferences for the first year though, I love salad, he does not, so we came to a compromise. I make salad and steak, mine is a steak salad and he has steak and potatoes. He doesn't like most any veggies so we came to a compromise that once a week he eats one lol 

    Good luck... don't kill him lol your a better woman than me lmao
  • lol or divorce court... 
  • @MrsMacGregorM, this thread is over FOUR YEARS OLD.
    GilliC
  • What an immature baby!! A lot of men in my area are like this. The root of the problem usually stems from parents not saying no. People who spoil their children create monsters.

    Does he help with chores?

  • I love MH to death and I would have no problem cooking for him what he likes and if I wanted something different, I would cook that for myself.
    I'm the picky eater in my marriage and MH will eat anything so I don't want him to not have a variety of foods because of me so I will cook to accommodate us both. He likes fried food, I like baked so I will fry his food and bake mine. He likes mashed potatoes, I hate it, so I will make him mashed potatoes and myself rice. When he cooks, he does the same for me. 
    I can't imagine something like meal preparation causing a problem in a marriage. 
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    TTC since September 2012
  • I agree with everyone,

    Please do not just cook what he likes, if he wont even try it he can make his own dinner!

    I have been with a PICKY eater for 5years we just got Married but I will do what others do set aside something (different meat) before I make a completely separate meal for a grown man!

  • Getting to the root of why hes so picky seems to be the first step. Is it because he has a medical condition? Is he a super taster?( My husband can taste things 10 times better than I can , and can smell things that are 3 rooms away). Has he had bad eating habits he cant brake? Does he not like trying new things? Having a heart to heart with him and finding this out will be the start.
  • I highly doubt OP is here to answer your questions because this thread is fucking four-and-a-half years old.
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