Family Matters
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What do you do when you've got a volatile family member?

edited August 2014 in Family Matters
I've got a legal issue going on with a sibling.

He's always been a bit nuts and volatile --- he's worsened since he's found out that I'm taking him to court over a legal matter.

The past 4 months have been the worst of all. To add more wood to the fire, he's got a ladyfriend living with him.  Sure, she's going to take his side being that she's his girlfriend; that is one thing --- but to chime in and join him on the bandwagon where it's the both of them acting like this is seventh grade is compounding the situation.

I have been doing my best to lie low. I only speak to him when it's necessary but even then, some of those interactions have had him flying off the handle and threatening to call the cops. Who needs this?

The time fror the hearing is getting close --- it is in a few weeks --- and between then and now, the tension here is going to be fantastic. I do not trust Bro and I do not trust his ladyfriend; the 2 of them  combined and acting in concert is like adding an acid to a base. 

He has always been volatile and a little nuts.  But what was I supposed to do? Let what was happening go with no legal intervention altogether? Forget it; things would be in an even bigger mess than they are now.

He is pissed off because his former doormat (me) decided to do something about what was happening.  It's also a codependency and this is why I want him out of here and gone -- he is probably stalling hoping that I will call off the dogs and let the whole thing go --- no way I can do that.

In the meanwhile:

It is best I avoid him and her. I see them coming, I duck out of sight.  I won't talk to him unless I need to -- unless it is positively ncessary -- but even then, it is like walking on eggs and the stress and strain is horrendous.

You can feel the animosity pouring out of the both of them when they see me. Life's tough. (and really, Ladyfriend : if you don't like what is happening here, you can jolly well move out. What's stopping you, anyway?)

Re: What do you do when you've got a volatile family member?

  • That is a sticky situation.  I am assuming from your post that you live next to or close to them?  I have a sibling that lives close by with a not-sucha-lady friend so I know how awkward that can be.  It really sucks to have someone who is blood treat you like garbage but there really isn't much you can do.  Hang in there Tarpon!  Hopefully the hearing will go well and you will be one step closer to resolving your legal issue.  Best to keep avoiding them as much as possible.  Saying things will only create more tension.  If it is a legal matter better to let your lawyer do the talking.
    Don't worry you are not alone.  This happens in more families than you can imagine.  Good for you for standing up for yourself - stay strong!

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