Sex & Romance
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deleted message

xojess017oxxojess017ox member
Fourth Anniversary First Comment
edited August 2014 in Sex & Romance
felt like deleting

Re: deleted message

  • edited July 2014
    I needed to share this story with people because I feel it helped me and may help others!

    I have been married for almost two years and hubby and I have been together for almost seven years. I have never really had a "high" sex drive and within the last year I was having a really hard time getting in the mood.

    Have you ever masturbated?

    If not, start.

    I thought it was related to my BC, so I talked to my dr and we found a prescription that would be better for me. It helped a little, but not nearly enough to the point that I felt I was giving my hubby what he deserves! I love my hubby very much and he is extremely supportive in everything and I feel like I was just brining him down by not being in the mood. He kept asking me if there was something wrong with him and to be perfectly honest there is nothing wrong with him, but he constantly felt like it was his fault that he couldn't get me in the mood.

    The positive sign here is that he is wondering if it is "him" and he did NOT blame you for the whole problem.

    As for the rest, please see a counselor. You need therapy for this incident:

     One night while he was at work (he works in a hospital and most of the time works the night shift) I was in the midst of the dream and it finally clicked to me as to why I was having trouble getting in the mood. When I was in high school I was almost raped on a school trip. I tried to block out that part of my life and never told anyone. I was able to get away from this guy who kept forcing me to take off my clothes and was being very pushy and trying to get me in his bed. I some how managed to get out of the situation without being violated. After keeping that inside of me for so long I think it took a toll on my sex life. I kept this secret from everyone for a long time. I felt like it was my fault that I was put in that situation, even though there is nothing I could have done except what I did to get out of it. I texted hubby when I woke up from the dream and told him I think I figured out why I have been having a hard getting in the mood and told him I wanted to talk about it when I get home from work the next day. That night hubby didn't have to work and I came home late. We ate dinner and then had some quality time. We went up to bed and he asked me if I was ok. I was much quieter than I had been. I told him I'm ok and he asked me what my text meant. Hubby looked at me with the most concerned eyes. I told him I didn't want him to judge me (not that he would, but if I was going to tell someone this secret I had never told anyone else, I felt it was something that had to be said). He reassured me he would never judge me and I proceeded to tell him that what I was about to tell him was something I had never told anyone before. I went on and told him the story sobbing my eyes out. I kept apologizing to him for not being able to get in the mood for him and all he did was look at me kiss my forehead and lay my head on his chest to hold me. He just listened to what I had to say and reassured me that he understands and would never do anything I felt uncomfortable doing. After talking to my hubby, I finally felt a bit of relief. That night a few months ago we ended up sharing a very intimate moment and since then I have not had any problems getting in the mood. A note to all readers who made it this far -- thanks for listening to my story. I just felt I needed to share. 
    Counseling for the problem you had in the past.. GL.
  • That's so wonderful! I'm happy for you! :-)
  • felt like deleting
    Not cool at all.
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