Trouble in Paradise
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Wasted time?

I'm 23 and was a single mom before I met my husband. My husband and I got married in August of 2013. Before we got married we moved out of my long term rental to help his grandmother out with her house. 2 weeks after we got married he went out of state for a month for work (completely unexpected). He did come home after his old job offered him a better position working nights. At this time I was working days, him nights. While he was out of state I kind of kept to myself because I was sad hurt and lonely. His family didn't care for that very much and started running their mouths and spreading rumors. After his return and the blow out with my inlaws we moved back into my old rental which we decided to buy. I tried to patch things up with his family as much as possible and everything was going good. Around January we got into a petty argument. He had bought me a vehicle for my bday and had since put it on a website and wanted to trade it for a dirtbike. Obviously I was irate and made a big deal out of it. He then started to come home later than normal (around 5am when he gets out at 12:30am). A week later he told me he was moving out and wanted a divorce. I became very emotional and pushed him for an answer and he punched a hole in our bathroom wall (a side of him I've never seen before). He came and moved his stuff out with no reason. I tried reaching out to him multiple times to talk and he wouldn't even respond. What bothered me the most is my son was involved and now hurting Bc that was his "dad". Before we got married I had wrecked my vehicle and he was letting me use his. When he left he took that vehicle. He canceled my sons and i's health insurance. Stopped fuel delivery for my heat and left me working a part time job supporting my sister and my son. It was very hard to make ends meet but I was able to keep our heads above water. Thank goodness tax time was right around the corner. I didn't leave my house for 2 months straight except for work and never went Into the small town where everyone knows everyone and everything. I still received nonsense on FB from his family. I even deleted them and any acquaintances of his. I bought myself a vehicle and paid off my bills for a while and went to florida for a couple weeks. By this time it has been almost four months he has been gone without any contact. My son even tried calling him and leaving voicemails. I then decided it was time to move on and had a great time on vacation in Florida. I was wen talking to a great guy from my hometown. Before I came home from vacation I received a call that I was being served. I never thought the day would come...I came home and dealt with that right away. Received my divorce papers and called the lawyer like I was instructed. A few weeks later my soon to be ex texted me and asked me for some information. After an all day back and forth text conversation I asked him to meet up. He did and we talked and cried for 7 hours. We decided to try and work things out and he came home. My son was ecstatic but you can tell he had issues with him. I went and talked to his family and tried clearing up the small town rumors. His mother told me to sign the papers and just leave it alone. That she can't believe that what she didn't hear was true and was so rude to me we haven't talked really since. He called his lawyer and cancelled the divorce he spent almost 3000$ on and sold my rings to pay for. He's been back now for almost 4 months and I dk if I'll ever get over the hurt he out me through. Plus I still think about the guy that I was talking to while we were split. Am I crazy for letting him come back? Is it worth trying to work it out? Sorry for the long post just need some outside help. I don't even have the urge to be intimate with him anymore. Any advice would be great. Tia!!

Re: Wasted time?

  • edited July 2014
    buggy0211 said:

    You could  break up your post into paragraphs.

    I am guessing you sent this post from a phone.

    I'm 23 and was a single mom before I met my husband. My husband and I got married in August of 2013. Before we got married we moved out of my long term rental to help his grandmother out with her house. 2 weeks after we got married he went out of state for a month for work (completely unexpected). He did come home after his old job offered him a better position working nights.

    At this time I was working days, him nights. While he was out of state I kind of kept to myself because I was sad hurt and lonely.

    Didn't you find something to do instead of wallowing in self pity?

    Hobbies, join a club, go to an exercise class, take evening school classes and keep busy!

    I suggest you do the same now --- a busy person is a happy person and an interesting, intriguing person.

    Plus we all need a place to blow off steam. Why I suggest you find a hobby and partake in it, starting now.:)


    His family didn't care for that very much and started running their mouths and spreading rumors.

    None of this makes sense --- and why cone didn't you nip this in the bud when this nonsense began???

    Rumors, really? Are these people in junior high?


    After his return and the blow out with my inlaws we moved back into my old rental which we decided to buy. I tried to patch things up with his family as much as possible and everything was going good.

    Why are YOU holding an olive branch out to them? If anything, they owe you the apology and need to make sure you are okay with that, not the other way around.

    These people sound like my nutty xBIL and xSIL (husband and wife) -- mot a good thing to be.

    Around January we got into a petty argument. He had bought me a vehicle for my bday and had since put it on a website and wanted to trade it for a dirtbike. Obviously I was irate and made a big deal out of it. He then started to come home later than normal (around 5am when he gets out at 12:30am). A week later he told me he was moving out and wanted a divorce.

    Something is fishy here and I think he's fooling around. No decent married man stays out that late.

    And judging from this:

     I became very emotional and pushed him for an answer and he punched a hole in our bathroom wall (a side of him I've never seen before).

    File for divorce and throw the bum out.

    If, that is, you have a brain at all.

    This is unacceptable and you don't need a guy who cannot handle anger via the use of force. That's what he did: he punched a wall so that's use of force.

    Get rid of him today.

    He came and moved his stuff out with no reason. I tried reaching out to him multiple times to talk and he wouldn't even respond. What bothered me the most is my son was involved and now hurting Bc that was his "dad".

    Something is fishy here with him and I stsill say some other person is in the wings. Put the signs together: all of them spell affair.

    How old is this guy? if he is close to your age, it's very likely he doesn't even know what it means to have a permanent commitment. He wasn't ready for marriage.

    Perhaps yo and he moved too fast --- how old was your child when you began to date this creep?  You should have waited until the kiddo was quite a bit older -- maybe 3 or 4 years old -- and then slowly begin your foray into the dating world.

    Not every guy has to meet your kiddo --- and even if you do choose to let the guy meet your child, you wait about a year and a half after you begin seeing him. You're safegiuarding yourself and the kiddo: you want some guy who is not a here-today-gone-tomorrow or some fly by night.

    Before we got married I had wrecked my vehicle and he was letting me use his. When he left he took that vehicle. He canceled my sons and i's health insurance.

    Honey:

    LAWYER UP!!!

    He may not legally BE permitted to do this!!! And besides;

    YOU ARE STILL HIS WIFE AND THAT IS STILL MORE OR LESS HIS SON!!!

    What a rotten thing TO DO!

    If he has an employer who is providing the health insurance, I strongly suggest you get on the phone --- or better yet, go there in person and explain to them you and he are still married.

    Legally, the employer cannot remove you from that health insurance package while you are still married to him! That's how it was until I got divorced --- he had to show HR proof that we were no longer married before I could be removed from his coverage.

    Lawyer up and see the employer, if applicable!!!

    You can get coverage resumed for the duration of your marrage!

    He is a PIG. Plain and simple: A PIG.

    Stopped fuel delivery for my heat and left me working a part time job supporting my sister and my son.

    He may not be permitted to do that, either!

    It was very hard to make ends meet but I was able to keep our heads above water. Thank goodness tax time was right around the corner. I didn't leave my house for 2 months straight except for work and never went Into the small town where everyone knows everyone and everything.

    Wait a minute --- you LET THIS GO???

    You didn't get an attorney to get the hell after HIM and make HIM ante up for what he should pay FOR???

    WHY???


    I still received nonsense on FB from his family. I even deleted them and any acquaintances of his. I bought myself a vehicle and paid off my bills for a while and went to florida for a couple weeks. By this time it has been almost four months he has been gone without any contact. My son even tried calling him and leaving voicemails.

    And as for the below: DO NOT EVEN consider dating anybody at all right now:

     I then decided it was time to move on and had a great time on vacation in Florida. I was wen talking to a great guy from my hometown.


    You are in no position to date anybody!  You are still married for one and not legally separated and besides: MUCH too early for you to be dating.

    Cool it with the guy and stop seeing him. Grow up and take care of your affairs, your divorce and your child!

    Your H isn't even legally out of the picture and he was gone possibly a month or a few...and you "decided to move on." Lady, GROW UP!

    No you do not date --- you stay home with your child and you legally take care of the mess he left you in!

    Before I came home from vacation I received a call that I was being served.

    You find out vial mail or a process server you are being served. NOT a phone call.

    is this post for real? Because now it sounds like you're making this up. Nobody who is being served any type of complaint legally ever gets a phone call saying they are being served!

     I never thought the day would come...I came home and dealt with that right away. Received my divorce papers and called the lawyer like I was instructed.

    In the midst of this, whre is YOUR attorney???  YOu're supposed to have one.And I'll bet this is made up. Has to be.

    A few weeks later my soon to be ex texted me and asked me for some information. After an all day back and forth text conversation I asked him to meet up. He did and we talked and cried for 7 hours.

    Aw, gee. I'm all choked up. (more sarcasm)

    We decided to try and work things out and he came home.

    Let me see:

    He was out until all hours
    He was not comunicative about it...
    Until he punched a wall
    He's got anger problems and abuse problems..>
    AND he was having an affair....He HAD to be....
    He moved out and cut off your health insurance and that of your child
    He fucked you over and refused to have heat supplied to you and the child
    And his family still gave you shit

    And you want this scumbag back.

    You're a mess.

    My son was ecstatic but you can tell he had issues with him. I went and talked to his family and tried clearing up the small town rumors. His mother told me to sign the papers and just leave it alone. That she can't believe that what she didn't hear was true and was so rude to me we haven't talked really since. He called his lawyer and cancelled the divorce he spent almost 3000$ on and sold my rings to pay for.

    Three grand for a retainer? he's full of shit.

     He's been back now for almost 4 months and I dk if I'll ever get over the hurt he out me through.

    So why are you still with him?

    Sure as eggs is eggs he is back because the other person dumped him. Party's over -- he goes back to you and you, like an ass, let him come back with open arms.

    Boy do you ever need therapy. And how.

    Plus I still think about the guy that I was talking to while we were split.

    My goodness. What a conundrum. Oh such the dilemma (sarcasm)

    Am I crazy for letting him come back? Is it worth trying to work it out? Sorry for the long post just need some outside help. I don't even have the urge to be intimate with him anymore. Any advice would be great. Tia!!
    You need to have your head examined. You're not all there.

    Anybody with sense would have gotten rid of his ass the second the wall got punched. Gotten the kid, got out and filed and did not look back.
  • Hey, sorry you H is such a prick.  :(  I am not a big person on divorce, unless two things.  Cheating and abuse.  So I think for now anyways.  I grew up marriage being a sacred thing and thru better or worse.

    I want to know, where was he this whole time?  He just comes back and wants everything to be back to normal?  I wouldn't be able to get over this too quickly, if at all...  Its up to how you feel and what your heart and head are telling you.  If you do decide to try this out and make it work, I would say go to marriage counseling ASAP.  He needs it you need it.  If it can help go for it.  Honestly though, he was very cruel and cold with him just abandoning you and your son.  Taking away your insurance, even though you are still married? WTF? 

    I don't really know what to tell you except sit back, take some time and think long and hard about this whole thing.  You are still young and do not deserve this kind of anyone in your life.  Not worth it to me.  It would take a lot of thinking to figure out what you think is right for YOU and your SON. 

    Do you have anyone close to you can talk with? Some one you trust and who would be straight up honest to help you understand ?  GL... xo

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  • edited July 2014

    Hey, sorry you H is such a prick.  :(  I am not a big person on divorce, unless two things.  Cheating and abuse.  So I think for now anyways.  I grew up marriage being a sacred thing and thru better or worse.

    I want to know, where was he this whole time?  He just comes back and wants everything to be back to normal?  I wouldn't be able to get over this too quickly, if at all...  Its up to how you feel and what your heart and head are telling you.  If you do decide to try this out and make it work, I would say go to marriage counseling ASAP.  He needs it you need it.  If it can help go for it.  Honestly though, he was very cruel and cold with him just abandoning you and your son. 

    Taking away your insurance, even though you are still married? WTF?

    This is why I say the entire post is MUD! An employer is NOT permitted to do this. 

    I don't really know what to tell you except sit back, take some time and think long and hard about this whole thing.  You are still young and do not deserve this kind of anyone in your life.  Not worth it to me.  It would take a lot of thinking to figure out what you think is right for YOU and your SON. 

    Do you have anyone close to you can talk with? Some one you trust and who would be straight up honest to help you understand ?  GL... xo

    I vote that this whole thing is MUD. Nobody in their right mind would want this pig at all.

    Can't you see the OP is nuts? Just lets it go and doesn't find a legal way to pursue the health insurance being cut off?

     As I said, this is fishy --- no employer is permitted to do that! Until it is clear that you are no longer his spouse --- he would have to produce divorce papers to give to managment and in turn, they would give that to he provider -- they cannot cut you off for health insurance -- and if HE paid for it, he cannot do that UNTIL he proves the woman is no longer his spouse.

    To the OP:

    Get your ass to a therapist. NOW.

    Your choice making apparatus SUCKS --- you have no common sense! You are not capable of choosing the right kind of a guy to be a friend iwth, let alone choose a good and sensible and dependable mate -- and that bullshit with "moving on"?  Bahhahaha --- are you KIDDING??? Really and truly, it's time to get out there and date??? NO it is NOT.

    You are also very immature. I wonder whre the father of your son is -- his biological father --- I'll bet he is as big a pig and prick as your H is.

    Annull this marriage in a court of law and then don't date until you are about 30 years of age. Therapy and stat. You've fucked things up pretty badly --- inasmuch because you did not boot him when he punched the wall --- and that you effed this up badly and that is POISON to your son!

    You positively cannot keep him in this disgusting envoronment. Do you want your son hit next??? Do you want your son to grow up knowing that men treat Mommy like a doormat and a piece of dirt??? It is essential you get rid of this pig NOW.
  • Ya, I didn't really know the law about that.  Unsure about different state laws and such. 

    This whole thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but some people will take them back.  Sad but true... 

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  • edited July 2014

    Ya, I didn't really know the law about that.  Unsure about different state laws and such. 

    This whole thing doesn't make a whole lot of sense to me, but some people will take them back.  Sad but true... 

    Cloudy: I believe that is a federal law!

    And even if it was not a law at all:

    What kind of a MAN would do that to his wife and what pretty much is a child under his care and under his protection??????

    Poor character, cruelty, immaturity -- let this pig GO!

    He not only played you but he called your bluff and you fell for it hook line and sinker.

    Expect much worse from this son of a bitch in the future.
  • Lol, gotcha.  I pay attention to some.  Ha ha

    This MAN is far from a MAN.  He is a selfish cold hearted prick.  Ya, lets turn my back on my WIFE and CHILD.  Real manly. Horrible,  and sad if this is

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    Rainzzzy
  • RainzzzyRainzzzy member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2014
    I'm not pro divorce in most cases, but I would have a tough time getting over the fact that he cut you and your son off without hesitation or mercy. Why? Because you dared to question him selling your car for him to buy a new toy?? That was a financial decision that you should have made together. And what was he doing for 5 hrs after work every night? Either drinking, or cheating (or both) is my guess. And like PPs pointed out who cancels health insurance on their wife and a young child? That's just awful. If you even want to consider a future with this man at the bare minimum you need intensive couples therapy. Preferably select a non-religious counselor because IMO a clergy person may be inclined to discourage divorce even if it's in your best interest. And I have a feeling divorce may be in your best interest here.

    If you do decide to stay with him what's to say he won't punish you by leaving (and cheating??) the next time you dare to question one of his tyrannical decisions?
    cloudymeatballs12
  • First I have to say that I wasn't eligible for a free attorney Bc I wasn't abused or filing the divorce. I live in a small town and received a phone call that a police man was at my door. The only reason he would be there is to serve me Bc I've never been in any legal trouble. As far as the insurance thing goes I was told that he took me off if the insurance and with the job switch I wasn't sure if I was still covered. I took care if that myself and write down and documented everything. I'm sorry that I couldn't afford a lawyer to pay for real advice. This isn't "mud" as it has been called this is real true life. He never abused me and he had told me he wanted a divorce before he punched the wall. I understand it wasn't right. Do u think he was cheating? I'm not sure. I don't have facts to say he was. I will take your advice to go to counseling. Thank you! On top of that I have had a troubling past and I know it's not an excuse but I feel I have come along way with what I've been through. I'm not fully matured into a woman and I know I make questioning decisions but I appreciate your response. Thanks ladies.
    cloudymeatballs12
  • edited July 2014
    buggy0211 said:
    First I have to say that I wasn't eligible for a free attorney Bc I wasn't abused or filing the divorce.

    You weren't abused???

    Yes, you were: he threw something at the wall, he cut off your insurance -- he did not bother to get the phone when you called, to name a few: to me that is abuse.

    Call your county bar association and get ahold of 3 recommendations for an attorney --- tell them you need somebody who can work on a contingency basis; explain your situation.

    Also try a women's shelter for a recommendation for an attorney. You can also have your stbxH pay your legal fees as part of the divorce agreement; you'd be reinmbursed for what you spent.

    Sell your ring --- hock it and you'll have money for the retainer. It's a must you get rid of him.

    I live in a small town and received a phone call that a police man was at my door. The only reason he would be there is to serve me Bc I've never been in any legal trouble.

    Okay; cops will do this in some cases.

    And for love of God: who cares IF this is a small town! Are you scared of these people???? WHY???? Let them go pound sand!

    What was his grounds for the divorce? I can just imagine what he's claiming. Pig.

    As far as the insurance thing goes I was told that he took me off if the insurance and with the job switch I wasn't sure if I was still covered. I took care if that myself and write down and documented everything.

    You are NOT to be TOLD:

    You are to receive, via mail, FROM the insurance carrier, a written notice stating that your insurance is NO longer being covered and you are to receive a certificate of coverage in case you want to pick up coverage elsewhere. Sometimes an insurance company will ask who you were covered by in the past and when the coverage ended.

    What happened here? did HE tell you you were cut off? Maybe this is all a game and a cruel bluff on his part. I wouldn't be surprised.

    And whether or not you were actually cut off from insurance?

    Honey, this is all principle!

    You still don't get it, do you?

    He has zero character and zero empathy -- for his wife and a child under his care -- he cut the both of you off!

    You should have been LIVID -- and on fire -- that he did this!  I am surprised you didn't wipe the streets with his ass after that alone.

    The first thing you needed to do: call the insurance carrier and find out if it was true -- and then lambaste him. That's what.

    I'm sorry that I couldn't afford a lawyer to pay for real advice. This isn't "mud" as it has been called this is real true life. He never abused me and he had told me he wanted a divorce before he punched the wall. I understand it wasn't right.

    Goody gum drops for him. And YES you were abused -- and yes he was cheating.

    If you are out until all hours and then all of a sudden you want out, yes, it is cheating. He didn't do this because he alone decided he wanted out.

    And yes indeed YOU WERE BEING ABUSED!!!

    And get tested. You don't know who he's been with. Don't contend with an STD on top of all of this.

    Do u think he was cheating? I'm not sure.

    Well, DUH, if a guy is out until all hours and he all of a sudden announces he wants the keys to the road, what do YOU think????

    I don't have facts to say he was. I will take your advice to go to counseling. Thank you! On top of that I have had a troubling past and I know it's not an excuse but I feel I have come along way with what I've been through. I'm not fully matured into a woman and I know I make questioning decisions but I appreciate your response. Thanks ladies.
    Sorry but you have not come a long way. You are on the same sorry track you've been on.

    You can't make good decisions.

    Get rid of him and get to a therapist. You have to stop the pattern and yes, you need to grow up.

    You and your kiddo come first. And stay safe.

    I am guessing he is still in your home. Tomorrow when he is gone to work, clear out of there. And FILE for an annullment.

    I cannot get over the fact that when he discontinued health insurance for you  and your son off that you just let it go! How in heck can you NOT react vehemently to that??? Suppose something happened to you and/or him and it was something so major that you'd have to pull teeth to get charity care to cover the total cost of it??

    And even if nothing happened to either one of you: as I have said: it is principle and it is an indicator of somebody's character, manhood and maturity and wow, common sense. This entire action that he took makes me sick and it should make you sick, too.

    You don't feel like getting intimate with him?

    That bastard shouldn't be within one hemisphere of you -- and I've got a good quote I got from one of my favorite TV shows and it applies to him in this case:

    "If you so much as open your fly to urinate, I will call the police on you."

    How in heck can you even LOOK him in the face after all of this??? you took him BACK??? Holy shit -- boy is HE getting some laugh on YOU!

    Wake UP, girl -- and do it now. For love of all holy and for the sake of your son, get rid of him tomorrow.
  • GilliCGilliC member
    Ancient Membership 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited July 2014
    Sell your ring --- hock it and you'll have money for the retainer. It's a must you get rid of him.
    Did you miss the part where she said that he sold her rings for his own retainer?!

    "He called his lawyer and cancelled the divorce he spent almost 3000$ on and sold my rings to pay for.

    Why in the world did you give the rings back in the first place?! And technically, in all but a few very rare cases, they are legally yours, so that's just another huge black mark against this jerk.

    You should not take this guy back. You should get a lawyer. So maybe it's expensive, but if you only worked part-time and he was a major source of financial support, you should be entitled to a lot more. Would you rather give up the money he owes you, because you don't want to try to find an affordable lawyer? Do the math. Not getting a lawyer and letting this guy fleece you is going to cost you more money in the long-run. He sold your friggin' wedding rings, for heaven's sake! That's $3000 he just took right out of your pocket! How much more do you want to give him?

    You say that you haven't been abused, but you have. You've been emotionally abused, because you've let this man control you. To a frightening level, no less. I know that it's difficult to see it yourself, because you're in the middle of it, but I've been in a controlling relationship. I didn't see all of the signs until long after I'd left!

    My XH put his fist through our bedroom door instead of the bathroom wall. They say that violence tends to escalate. He eventually did hit me (something I've never admitted here before). He slapped me one night when we were arguing. It wasn't especially hard, but it ruptured my eardrum. I had to have surgery.

    Someone posted this recently, and I suggest that you read it:
    image
  • I don't think it's MUD. I think that if I were 23 with a kid I'd be making the same kind of choices and have the same type of feelings. Doesn't mean that OP is dealing with it well, just that her age is showing.

    I'm sorry you are going through this. It must be just ripping you apart. The thing that struck me though is the guy you met in Florida. Not that you should go off and marry him, but this is what your early 20's is meant to be for - having fun. Meeting new people. Trying new things and having new experiences. You can do that as a mother as well, certainly. But with the benefit of my age (33) I would tell you to rid yourself completely of your 'husband' right now, for good. You are better than this, you deserve better than this. There are so, so many people out there that would love to be with you and your son. People that you would love to be with too. It's not 'him or no one', even though it may feel like it.

    This guy's family sounds like a nightmare you don't need. HE sounds like an unreliable guy that doesn't know what he wants and this is likely to happen again with him.

    Chalk it up to a crappy learning experience and move on - you ARE wasting your time here.

    Sorry.
    image

    Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
    I wrote a book! Bucket list CHECK!
    cloudymeatballs12
  • Tofu is right about the stolen materials --- maybe the jerk took the rings when the OP removed them for the night. Took a trip to the dresser or jewelry box and there ya go.:(

    A therapist for you so you can learn to stand up for your rights. Let nobody push you around --- and please document that he sold your rings.

    If you get alimony from this guy, I do not know about the child support part. Unless he has adopted your child, I don't believe he is obligated to pay a child support for your kiddo. That's something you need to get from the biological dad.  And if you're getting that from that guy, good.


  • @tofumonkey you could not have said this any better!!!! 


    OP you are a young woman.  Being young can really be a different side to being what, 33?  As you get older, these types of experiences you learn from.  I was with a guy years back, I thought he was the greatest thing in the world.  He made me something I didn't want to be.  Separated from my family, he wasn't abusing me per se but in a way, yes he was.  He was overly jealous and didn't want me to hang with my friends.  He was so something I cannot believe I ever stayed with.  I learned, I finally grew up a little during this relationship and I left.  We didn't have kids and I am thankful for that one, but I left. My family took me back and was so thankful I left him.  They knew he was so wrong for me as my friends did as well. 

    I really hope you learn from this my dear. Being young is a great thing.  We make mistakes, some much bigger than others, and hopefully we learn the lesson there is to be learned.  Please go get yourself tested.  We cannot say yes he was cheating because we don't really know, but better safe than sorry.  I would keep my distance and you can find someone who can help.  You just need to look. 

    You guys were/are married, so this guy is entitled to give you alimony.  Take care of yourself and your child.  This guy is a boy and hasn't learned the right way to treat a woman.  Good luck again and I really hope you step back.  Step back and take a long hard look at this and what your life may just be if you, for some reason, stay with this guy...  Life is supposed to be mostly happy with people around you who make you feel good, not like shit.  You only live once girl, so live it right!!! xo

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  • Typically I am very against divorces and think the couple needs to work hard to get through whatever issues they are having. But in this case... this guy is the issue. How can you have a relationship like marriage if the guy will just pick up and leave and refuse to discuss anything?

    Your husband is supposed to be the #1 person you can rely on, and this guys failed you numerous times in less then a year!! Drop him fast! Get the divorce and move on. Do you want to spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells knowing if he gets upset he may just leave again?!?!

    I'm sorry you had a rough past and don't realize you deserve a lot more then what this guy can offer. Spend some time reflecting on what you need and who you are. Take your time in the future. Your young don't settle just because you want someone for yourself and child.
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  • You need to take care of you and your child. You need to be by yourself and develop who you are before you get involved in another relationship. Being a single mom is tough, but you need to be on your own. 
    Dump this asswipe and learn how to take care of yourself and child independently. 


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