Family Matters
alexnicole452647
member
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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Help
Where to begin? So my MIL does not like me, she is constantly making snarky remarks, and has also let my husband know that she doesn't like me because I have "changed" him, all things I have tried to work on and I have also encouraged him to discuss with his mom to make life easier for everyone. My husband hates confrontation and is in denial about the situation, which doesn't help matters. Not only does my MIL not like me but she is also going through something herself so she is constantly unhappy which results in arguments with all of her children and grudges for days. Lately it is my husbands turn to be her target, she is apparently angry with him because we never have her over. Meanwhile we have had plans for 2 weeks to have her over this week, we just got back from our honeymoon (which she refuses to acknowledge or ask about and we also both had business trips right after). I know the issue is much deeper but I am not sure how to handle things. My husband is a mess and I feel like it is time to speak to someone about how to handle this situation.
Re: Help
Well, I hate to say this, but MIL antics aside, the very obvious problem is your H. He doesn't like confrontation, but he is now married and he needs to put you, his wife, first. Your MIL speaks badly about you, he needs to step up and tell her to cut the crap. She threatens to 'show up unannounced' to your house? Don't answer the door. She gives you a hard time about it? Oh well, then your H needs to let her know that no, it is unacceptable (and rude) to show up without calling first to see if you guys are even home. Your H needs to stand up and tell his mother to cut the dramatic narcisistic crap.
Some mothers have a hard time letting go of their sons, but again, your H made a vow to you to put you before anyone else - including his mother.
Demand he take your side and if he dose not, send him straight home to his mother. Sounds like that's where he belongs, anyway.
This problem had to exist for quite some time. It didn't just begin now. She was always nasty to you..and he was always her yes man.
Right?
I have to be right about this one...and that means you never should have dated him once you found out what a doormat and spineless jellyfish he was. Marry a MAN, not a little kid!
If you are serious about continuing marriage with hm, you will tell him this:
"I am sick and tired of you siding with your mother.
"You and I are to sit down with her and you are to tell her this:
"'Ma, what hurts my wife hurts me. As of right now you are to cease and desist your nastiness and talk to her like you are a Sunday school teacher. My wife comes first, not you. Have you got all of that? Start being civil NOW or that is it for you.'
"And if you don't tell her that exactly in my presence, that is it for YOU. You will be going home to her and our marriage is over."
I am not kidding. He needs to tell his mother that exactly -- with you sitting right there ----he needs to stand up for you and do it NOW.
ANd if he won't say that to his mother?
Show him the door. He's got a poor resevoir of character sinply because he won't stick up for you. And that's on top of the immaturity factor.