Family Matters
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SIL drives me crazy

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Re: SIL drives me crazy

  • HAHA, update!

    MIL bailed SIL out and flew the two kids down to Florida. a 7 year-old and 9 year-old flying alone together...not sure I agree. taking kids out of school for 2 days...not sure I agree. but at least SIL won't be calling me to watch kids for a week :)

    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
  • Good for you for staying strong.  MIL will just have to keep paying to fly them down whenever SIL needs a babysitter.
  • daisy09 said:

     a 7 year-old and 9 year-old flying alone together...not sure I agree.

    While I personally would be a nervous wreck in allowing DS to fly alone, at the same time - when I was a kid (from about the age of 6 on), I flew across country, including a layover, every summer to go visit my mom.  Airlines are equipped to help young children flying alone. 

    This in and of itself, I won't judge. 

    The rest of it - well, yeah, MIL has just set herself up. 

    And I fully agree w/ the PP who said it - helping family out is about TRUE emergencies.  Not about poor planning.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

    Tofumonkey
  • that's why I said I'm not sure I agree.  I'm not a huge traveler, though I now fly more frequently for work, I only flew a handful of times as a child, always with my parents, and in general I'm a nervous traveler. to each their own. 

    I disagree more strongly with taking kids out of school for traveling...SIL does this on a regular baisis and I think she is setting her kids up to have a more difficult time in school (and also teaching them that school isn't the most important thing they're doing).
    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
  • I flew by myself as a young teenager multiple times and they have a service for unoccupied minors (it is about $75/per child) and they allow the parent to the gate to drop off and who ever is picking up to go to the gate to pick up.  The child is first one on and last one off and is escorted to the next gate and if their is a lay over the airports have a special room to put them.  

  • Good for you for staying strong.  MIL will just have to keep paying to fly them down whenever SIL needs a babysitter.
    Well, that's just what grandmas have to do! Hee hee...

    I agree with other posters, it's tough and scary to have kids fly alone, but it's fine. I also missed school around breaks for family vacations and it didn't make a difference. Especially at that age. I do understand your concerns for the long term though. 

    I guess just be glad they will know you guys aren't on call babysitters. Maybe SIL will grow up a little and realize these kids are her responsibility, not everyone else's.
  • How dare she ring her baby along with her to an event that you asked her to beat. I imagine, if an when, you become a mother, you will be eating some crow here. You talk a lot about family, but seem repulsed by your niece. Weddings are about all of the family...not just you. I think you are waaayyyy overreacting.

  • ^^^ I think you are posting in the wrong thread....OP was complaining about her SIL and the expectation that both she and her H use their vacation time to watch SIL's kids because if SIL's lack of planning, laziness, and cheapness. She has every right to be pissed.
    Tofumonkey
  • Yes...wrong thread! My bad ;)

    Tofumonkey
  • TNChick said:

    Yes...wrong thread! My bad ;)

    It was this thread, but I'm pretty sure the OP stopped responding once she saw how many people were telling her how ridiculous she was being ;)

    http://forums.thenest.com/discussion/12013554/help-dealing-with-sister-in-law#latest
  • I understand that your SIL is frustrating, and ditto all the other comments about that.

    But, erm, you have NEVER watched the kids?  Not even once?  You get the side eye from me on that one.  She asked for help with her kids for her C section and you refused?  You don't sound like very nice in-laws to me.  Or a good aunt and uncle either, for that matter.  Family should actually be helping family.  Doesn't have to be on her emergent and poorly planned terms, but dude, you said you've NEVER watched them.  You weren't even willing to help out so she could go to hospital.  Wow.

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  • I have known other parents in similar situations & what they have done is worked it out with other parents where I'll take your kids on MLK day if you take my kids on Presidents day. This way each parent only has to worry about one day of missing work.

    I totally agree that she needs to be more organized with planning for when her kids have off of school. If your husband feels guilty, then maybe a compromise would be offer next fall that you will take the kids on a specific day between Christmas & New Year to hang out with them them to make it an aunt/uncle/kids bounding day. And if you are feeling very generous, maybe offer up President's day or say Good Friday. Kids always have off for those days & you could plan far enough in advance for those. The rest of the days, well she would be on her own. I only offer that as a compromise to help your husband not feel so guilty but you may be closing the door then on last minute days off school. 

  • Janimal said:

    I understand that your SIL is frustrating, and ditto all the other comments about that.

    But, erm, you have NEVER watched the kids?  Not even once?  You get the side eye from me on that one.  She asked for help with her kids for her C section and you refused?  You don't sound like very nice in-laws to me.  Or a good aunt and uncle either, for that matter.  Family should actually be helping family.  Doesn't have to be on her emergent and poorly planned terms, but dude, you said you've NEVER watched them.  You weren't even willing to help out so she could go to hospital.  Wow.

    Actually, we have watched the kids, we watched the 18 month old just this past friday night so she and her H could go out to dinner.  She even called last minute and we weren't doing anything so I said sure. 

    The C-section thing she wanted the kids to spend the night here before so H and I could drive them to school for her. her C-section was SCHEDULED for 11am (don't even get me going on scheduled c-sections at 38 weeks for no medical reason). my H works from 3am to 11am, and this would have meant me CANCELING a meeting at work, where her H could have dropped her at the hospital (3 miles from their house) driven the kids to school (2 miles from the hospital), and been back at the hospital before they even prepped her for surgery. 

    I'm more than happy to watch the kids if it doesn't mean rearranging my schedule and I have some advanced notice. 

    If they called us with a true emergency (i.e. if she had actually gone into labor) I would have been more than happy to drop what I was doing and take the kids. 


    Follow-up for those interested in the saga....I just got tagged in a FB post that said:
    "Looking for a FT baby sitter for my 6&8 yr old this summer starting in June, can't pay much but hey it's cash anyone want to help?"
    Me: 28 H: 30
    Married 07/14/2012
    TTC #1 January 2015
    BFP! 3/27/15 Baby Girl!! EDD:12/7/2015
  • Just untag yourself if you can.  She is going to be in trouble.
    Tofumonkey
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