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Oh the drama

Too much for the WTF post... but this is one big WTF to EX

Let's start with the Shoe Scandal of 2014:

Ex texted H Monday about MIL buying the kids shoes.  We didn't know about that, but um... ok?  Sorry?  Ex then said she was going to buy them shoes, but she went out and with 4 kids it was too much + grocery shopping.  Later, H talked to MIL and she said she didn't want to start drama, but the reason she got Ryan shoes was because his had 2 big holes in them!!!  WTF!?  And she couldn't get one shoes and not the other.  There's 2 other adults in that house, they watch the kids that don't need shoes and you take the ones that do.  Oh but, there was time to plan the 3rd kid's bday party Sunday.  Maybe it's because Ryan has autism and don't complain it's freezing out, wet and snowy and his shoes HAVE  FREAKING HOLES IN THEM!

But this spins H into a mood - do we give her enough money, am I a good dad, am I doing enough, etc.  I reminded him, they might be tight from moving, but that's not his fault.  If she did her taxes, they got at least 4K back from child tax credit, but if he wanted to give her more we can.  Honestly, I'd rather buy things like shoes, then give her more money.  My dad told him before, his money is to help support his 2 kids, not support the family of 7 they got going on. 

This is also a WTF Lilly's School - Then last night, Ex calls saying Lilly's school once again is pushing to classify Lilly as austic.  Lilly is not austic, if they are confused, we can bring in Ryan.  Every year they do this, Ex takes her to the doctor, who won't test her because she does not has autism.  She's doing better this year, finally at reading level and seems to be doing ok.  Oh - an indictor they put down was she eats a lot of mustard.  Well, hell then I'm autistic.  I love me some mustard!  I guess she's in a phase where she wants only mustard sandwich.  Um, that's being a kid, not autism.  My sister only ate ketchup and cheese sandwiches.  Jeff said he ate only ketchup...

Jeff asked ex if he can call the school to talk to them- No, you're not on the list.  He asked to be put on the list, and she said no, she didn't want him to look better than her.  WTF!   Seriously?!  Really?!  Then he suggested we could take her and see what happens.  "No, I'm the only thing consistent in her life".  Um, no your not.  And he would be more consistent other than just visiting - IF YOU WOULD LET HIM!  And this isn't about YOU it's about YOUR DAUGHTER!  He finally told her he didn't know what to do unless she untied his hands.  I was so proud of him.  I know she just wants a pity party, sorry Jeff wants to find actual solutions.

Again, this put Jeff in a mood.  I love his kids, you guys know that, but sometimes I get so worn out from having to pick him up after any and all interactions with her. 

Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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Re: Oh the drama

  • Oh. my word. I don't understand how he ISN'T on the list at school beings that he is  her freaking father. Hell, I have my grandparents, parents, and sister on the list to be able to pick up A from school whenever the feel like it. There needs to be some sort of mediation in my opinion. Trying to classify someone as having autism is not something I would just let the ex run with. Is there anyway that she might be trying to diagnose her with that in order to get SSI benefits? 

    And there is no reason for a child to be running around with holes in their shoes! It takes 2 minutes to run into even freaking Walmart and pick up a $5 pair to hold them over until they can get to an actual shoe store.

    I feel for you. She would exhaust me too. 
    A: 10.02.03    M: 01.28.11
  • Its the school classifying Lilly as autistic. The ex is actually fighting it. she also claims she gets no ssi for Ryan, but I call bs. She takes Lilly to the doctor to get tested as per the school, but the doctor doesn't see a point because he doesn't see it either. Jeff said to push the test to shut the school up.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • mana8503 said:
    Its the school classifying Lilly as autistic. The ex is actually fighting it. she also claims she gets no ssi for Ryan, but I call bs. She takes Lilly to the doctor to get tested as per the school, but the doctor doesn't see a point because he doesn't see it either. Jeff said to push the test to shut the school up.
    Oh ok, I misread, I thought she was. In that case I'd let them test her just to prove that she doesn't have it and to shut them up. I would still insist that Jeff be put down on in the school's system to have access to talk to the teachers. It isn't about who looks like they care more, it's doing what is best for Lilly. Maybe if Jeff actually speaks to the teachers he can get a better understanding of what is going on, rather than just hearing it from the ex who I'm sure isn't relaying everything to him correctly.
    A: 10.02.03    M: 01.28.11
  • this whole thing is a mess. you have a serious EX problem and I don't know how you're not screaming about it every day:(
  • @PhilaPhan - I totally agree. Once we went to Ryan's class and ex had to be there... The 4 of us had lunch together in the cafeteria - so awkward. She didn't want us to talk to the teacher without her.

    @amccul20 - usually I can handle it. But back to back nights, I needed to vent.
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • 1. This post got my blood pressure up so I do not know how you're dealing with this first hand as calmly as you are because I would be going crazy.

    2. I think it might be time to take her to court. I know that Jeff doesn't want to but she is making this really hard. As much as I don't want to talk badly about another mom, she is not providing for them the way they they need her to and that isn't okay - especially when you and Jeff are more than willing to give them the love (AND SHOES!!!) that they need. 

    3. I have my mom, my MIL, my sister, and my SIL on the list at Teddy's school. There is no reason at all why Ryan and Lilly's FATHER shouldn't be on the list. It shouldn't come down to whether or not the ex is okay with it. She needs to understand that Jeff is their dad and he has all the rights in the world to be able to do what he needs to do to care for his kids.

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  • I think its time to take her to court too.
    janma529
  • I agree. Its time for the courts to become involved. She seems "too overwhelmed" right now and maybe it would be a good idea for the kids to come stay with you guys for the next school year. It will give her a chance to breathe and settle into her new house with her new kids. Shes been doing this for so long on her own, that its you and Jeffs turn to handle the everyday routine.

    Make it seem like you want them to help her out. Shes a fucking myrter and wants everyone to feel bad for her. Well its about to blow up in her face. Because she cant handle it.

    Suggest you guys taking the kids just for the school year and not asking for any child support. Let her have them for all breaks from school.

    I would have a seriously hard time not going into a full out war with this woman.

    mammersohmana8503janma529
  • I know we need to go to court, y'all know we do... I think Jeff is close. Really really close. Its something we need to sit and talk about, and not something in the heat of the moment.

    Jeff offered taking them for the next school year, no money last year and again this year. Nope Nope Nope, only she can raise them. She's the best, she's the mom...
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • I third (fourth/fifth?) that it's time to take her to court.

    And while she is their mother, I don't believe she is the best. From what you've said, Lilly has been begging to live with you anyway. It may be time to have the court help make that decision. Are the kids old enough to be interviewed by an attorney & say who they want to live with? Do they even do that anymore?
  • phanatic said:

    I third (fourth/fifth?) that it's time to take her to court.

    And while she is their mother, I don't believe she is the best. From what you've said, Lilly has been begging to live with you anyway. It may be time to have the court help make that decision. Are the kids old enough to be interviewed by an attorney & say who they want to live with? Do they even do that anymore?

    From my research a few years ago, NC will talk to kids at any age, but they take into account the maturity of the child. At the end, it's up to the judge
    Eliza Mae - September 16th, 2014

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  • I just...can't.

    *hugs*
  • No more advice then what's been given. I'm sorry. :(

     

  • Wow. I'm so sorry. She really is BSC. It so sad that those kids can't come here. I get annoyed with G's Mom, but I know she's a good Mom and she treats J fairly when it comes to school and stuff. I can't imagine. Have you talked to her about having the kids for the summer? Then maybe have the kids talk to the judge about what they want to do? I know TX is a very mother friendly state, is NC one too?
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