My parents got a divorce when I was 5. My dad moved across the country with his new wife to "start their life" together. My dad has never really been apart of my life. My step mom from day 1 was emotionally abusive. I put up with it to be a respectful daughter since I only saw them once a year. My stepmom was and is head of the household, she makes all decisions and even tells my dad how to think and feel. When I got married in 2008 is when things started to get out of hand. My step mom is not liked by my moms family for how she treated my brother and I, so she was really uncomfortable at our wedding. After the wedding my dad told me he enjoyed himself and that everyone was really friendly. A couple weeks later my stepmom called me and told me how terrible it was and that my dad was uncomfortable but didnt have the heart to tell me.
I became pregnant quickly after we got married, when I told my stepmom she was quick to say "how dare you make me a grandma before I turn 40?" SHe also said she would tell my sisters after the weekend so they could enjoy their weekend. Next time I talked to my dad I talked to him about what she said and how it upset me. She lied to him and told him she never said it!
After my daughter was born they came to visit. I was upset with how things were handled with that situation that it was hard to be nice to overly nice to her. I still interacted with her while she was here, and it was obvious there was tension between us.
My dad wrote me a letter expressing how he was upset about my behavior! I ended up writing him back tellung him how it was, probably not the best way to handle the situation. I received a letter from my stepmom saying she cant believe what i wrote.
I havent talked to them since and its been 5 years. I now have 2 children. I would be able to forgive them if my stepmom apologized for being emotionally abusive, but that wont happen. My dad told my brother I need to apologize and give a good explanation on why I want a relationship. The only reason I would want a relationship is for my kids to know who their grandpa is. I would apologize and pursue a relationship with my ONLY my dad, but I know this wont happen. The hardest part about this scenario is the fact that he has MS. He's had it for over 10 years. Im stuck...should I apologize just to have a relationship? Or do i keep moving forward without them?