My hub's sister is cheating on her husband, along with using meth, and wallowing in alcoholism (which I know is really a difficult thing, an addiction, an illness, she just isn't accepting it is something that needs to change and is almost flaunting it). Recently the drugs and alcohol came to the surface to her husband, but not the cheating. She told only her siblings and parents that. She is thinking of just leaving him, and their 7 yo son, to chase her dreams...BUT my in-laws want to keep my nephew accessible, and so are trying to get her to push for custody.
I feel like my BIL needs to know the truth, one because he deserves that respect from us, his family, and so that he can have all the information when making decisions for his son, when fighting for him. DH is on the same page. MIL has made it very clear that no one is to tell BIL the truth, that it would show we are on his side against SIL, when really it is just, in our minds, doing the right thing, and trying to do the best thing for our nephew. Even though it may mean he is less a part of our life if his dad gets custody, it would be selfish to with hold this information for possible personal gain.
DH and I are already sort of on the outs with the fam, but working hard to repair it, and honestly, MIL and FIL are working hard too, so if we were to go against MIL's wishes, that might ostracize us beyond repair. Part of me is trying not to let that play into my thought process, just to look at the most basic question...
Should we tell BIL about SIL cheating?
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