Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

thank you cards?

Do you always send thank you cards? I do. I have relatives that never send them. Not even for a wedding shower. Is that common?

Re: thank you cards?

  • I always send thank you cards.  But, I do think the day of the thank you card is behind us.  I rarely receive thank you cards for anything, anymore.  If I do, it is usually a facebook or email thank you.

    It used to really bother me but there isn't really any changing it.  So, I just send mine and let the rest of it go.
    image
  • I think for big events where gifts were given that it is important to send a thank you note. To not send anything is rude. For something smaller like a birthday, I think a personal phone call or email to thank them would be sufficient.

    H and I have one friend in particular, who never sent a thank you for the wedding gift we gave, AND, not only was my H in the wedding party, but it was a destination wedding, so we had to pay for hotel on top of everything else - not a cheap weekend. Oh yea, and on his wedding website, he straight up said they wanted cash only for gifts, which is rude. So we were kind of taken aback at the fact that we didn't even get a thank you.

    We don't really speak to this friend anymore....they are the apitomy of rude.
    Sillygirl45mrsfinni
  • I think it's still a must for weddings and showers. Birthdays not as much.
  • I think for big events where gifts were given that it is important to send a thank you note. To not send anything is rude. For something smaller like a birthday, I think a personal phone call or email to thank them would be sufficient.

    H and I have one friend in particular, who never sent a thank you for the wedding gift we gave, AND, not only was my H in the wedding party, but it was a destination wedding, so we had to pay for hotel on top of everything else - not a cheap weekend. Oh yea, and on his wedding website, he straight up said they wanted cash only for gifts, which is rude. So we were kind of taken aback at the fact that we didn't even get a thank you.

    We don't really speak to this friend anymore....they are the apitomy of rude.

    We had a similar situation for two friends' weddings. We are no longer friends with one set due to more then receiving no thank you card.

    Thank you cards are a must for bigger events (weddings and showers). Birthdays and Christmas an email, phone call, or thank you in person works.
  • I send thank you cards for everything.  I am teaching my daughter to send thank you cards for everything.  

    If you easily downgrade a gift for ONE reason, you can easily justify downgrading a thank you card for another.  And in the end, you are no longer really showing your appreciation.  

    Look, at the very least, the gift giver took some extra time out of his/her day to go online to shop for your gift.  Taking that extra 60 seconds to write a thank you card (even if you thanked them in person) is nothing in comparison of energy spent purchasing said gift, but means a whole lot to the other person, NO?
    [IMG]http://i633.photobucket.com/albums/uu52/Iluminespics/IMG_4759.jpg[/IMG]
    spikeincmrsfinni
  • @Illumine, you are so very right. Also good for you for teaching your daughter that. I wasn't taught to write thank you cards for everything. My mother had me call and thank everyone.
  • I sent them for my bridal shower & wedding gifts, but then I also send them for gifts that are sent to me. If the person gives me the gift directly, then I just thank them right then. I even sent then you cards & later gifts to everyone in my bridal party no matter what they gave me because they still made time to be a special part of my special day.
  • For major things like showers, weddings, etc. we definitely send Thank You cards as soon as possible.

    After DD2 was born we got a ton of gifts, instead of sending individual thank you notes, I took a picture of the baby either wearing the outfit or sitting beside the toy and sent it by email.

    While DD1 was growing up, I would have her write Thank You notes for birthday and Christmas gifts for my grandmother, great aunts, etc. but she would call everyone else. That is what I was taught to do, and I know that generation appreciate the gesture.
  • Definitely for big things - graduation, wedding, bridal/baby shower.  I don't for birthdays and Christmas from my family members.  We never have and we thank in person.  I do send thank you notes for Christmas gifts to my grandparents.
  • I think not sending a thank you note for a gift makes the recipient of the gift appear as if they expected the gift and think that they were due to get it or felt entitled to receive it anyway. I send thank you notes anytime I am given a gift, no matter how small or for what event.

    It's very cheesy, but I think with the yuckiness that happens every day, being different with "an attitude of gratitude," can make a small and beneficial difference in peoples' lives.

    mrsfinni
  • It's more so a thing for weddings and showers, so odd that they wouldn't send them for a shower... unless you opened the presents and thanked them in person, I find thank you cards a bit redundant if that's the case.

    I occasionally write a thank you card, but normally only to those that mail a gift. We only wrote 2 thank yous at Christmas because we didn't see our grandpas, but they mailed us gifts. The others we got in person so we thanked them in person, seems silly to send a thank you.

    We of course did thank yous for the wedding since we didn't open the gifts till afterwards.
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards