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neighbor kid keeps coming over and we don't have kids

My husband and I recently moved into a very family friendly neighborhood with the plans of starting a family ourselves. We're currently just renting this house so we know we won't put down major roots but would also like to stay in the neighborhood once it's time for us to buy (very large neighborhood). Both houses to our sides have young kids (ages 6-10 maybe?) that play together.

When we were moving in neighbor kid on the left came up to us and pretty much started telling us his life story. He kept getting in the way of us unloading boxes kept walking into the garage and started to walk into our house until I told him no. Eventually we closed the garage and I didn't see the kids for awhile but then a few hours later I heard them walking around our backyard/patio before moving to the front again. Later that afternoon they had toys in our driveway. I asked one of the kids on the right to move the toy and he moved it and acted like he knew better. We had people coming over that evening to help unpack our things and the chatter box kid ambushed everyone coming in.

Fast forward to the next day and I return home from some errands and look over to my passenger side and see chatterbox standing at my car waving to me. I wasn't feeling well so I didn't say but to move his bike from our yard before I went inside.

I want to lay down to ground rules early so come summertime we aren't be bombarded. I don't mind kids being around but want them to respect our space. Any advice for how to handle this? My first thought was the address it with chatter box since my husband and I haven't met either set of parents. I get the impression chatter box is looking for attention and I don't mind talking with him occasionally but I want him (and his parents) to understand that our yard and driveway are ours and if the kid wants to come into either he has to be invited.

A few other tidbits - I think the house we're renting had been vacant for a month or more so I'm guessing it's possible the neighbor kids were making free use of the space. My husband and I are also coming from an apartment complex with no kids around so we're even more unsure of how to handle this. I don't want to be mean neighbor lady since I'd like to have a friendship with neighbors but I also want them to keep tabs on their kids and keep them out of our space.

Any suggestions??

Re: neighbor kid keeps coming over and we don't have kids

  • I have a similar issue. We have 4 boys from 2 different houses who seem to think the entire cul-de-sac and front yards are fair game for them to terrorize (seriously, they scream constantly and run around with items like golf clubs and airsoft pistols). They haven't actually hurt anything that I can tell and when I have opened the door to tell them to get lost, they scatter before I can get the door open. Fortunately they aren't in my yard very often, but it's pretty amazing that their parents seem to not care a bit what they are up to.

    So, I am get interested in what advice you get.

    In your situation I would probably tell chatterbox to go home and keep his toys out of your yard (nicely). If he doesn't, I would talk to the parents. Just explain you don't have kids and moved into a house from an apartment for the privacy and space. While chatterbox is such a doll, you'd hate to run over him or his toys so could they please ask chatterbox to not be in your yard uninvited. If you don't get this under control by summer you're going to be a prisoner in your own home.
    mrsfinni
  • I think I would talk to the parents first, just so they don't feel like you're picking on their kid. Then they can explain it to him. Then if he keeps coming over, remind him that you'd like him not to play in your yard, and if needed, keep talking to his folks. My SIL tends to talk to kids before talking to their parents, and it's gotten her in nothing but trouble. Some parents are very defensive if they find out you've been giving their kid a "talking to" without their knowledge, even when it's warranted. Good luck!!
    Rainzzzy
  • Sillygirl45Sillygirl45 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited January 2014
    I think I would talk to the parents first, just so they don't feel like you're picking on their kid. Then they can explain it to him. Then if he keeps coming over, remind him that you'd like him not to play in your yard, and if needed, keep talking to his folks. My SIL tends to talk to kids before talking to their parents, and it's gotten her in nothing but trouble. Some parents are very defensive if they find out you've been giving their kid a "talking to" without their knowledge, even when it's warranted. Good luck!!
    This is a concern as well. I think it makes a big difference if the kid is 6 or 10-12 too. I'm thinking of just telling the kids I'm having issues that I don't want them to get hurt in my yard (they're obviously old enough to know they shouldn't be here if they know enough to scatter), but I probably wouldn't say that to a 6 year old. They aren't old enough to understand why anyone wouldn't want them around and I would be afraid of hurting a small childs feelings.
  • We had this issue when we moved into our house.  I was mainly concerned about their desire to be around during parties but I also worried about our liability with the dogs and if the kids should get hurt on our property, whether we were home or not.  The house had been in foreclosure and had been empty for almost a year so I'm assuming the kids were used to having the run of the pretty sizable yard.

    So, I went to the parents on both sides and asked them if they wouldn't mind keeping their kids off our property and asking them not to allow them to freely come in/out of our gated backyard.  One mom was great, no worries, the kids were never a problem again.  The other mom flipped out on me a bit and insisted her son could play wherever he wanted because the dad had mowed the lawn while the house was empty.  I tried multiple times to reason with her, to no avail.

    I called the police and talked to a community service officer who said to give them a ring if there was any trouble.  The police issued warnings the first two times I called and on the third I believe the parents were issued a ticket.  Haven't heard a peep from them since.  The father even came over and apologized and said that if we ever had any trouble to talk to him directly.
    image
    mrsfinni
  • We had this issue when we moved into our house.  I was mainly concerned about their desire to be around during parties but I also worried about our liability with the dogs and if the kids should get hurt on our property, whether we were home or not.  The house had been in foreclosure and had been empty for almost a year so I'm assuming the kids were used to having the run of the pretty sizable yard.

    So, I went to the parents on both sides and asked them if they wouldn't mind keeping their kids off our property and asking them not to allow them to freely come in/out of our gated backyard.  One mom was great, no worries, the kids were never a problem again.  The other mom flipped out on me a bit and insisted her son could play wherever he wanted because the dad had mowed the lawn while the house was empty.  I tried multiple times to reason with her, to no avail.

    I called the police and talked to a community service officer who said to give them a ring if there was any trouble.  The police issued warnings the first two times I called and on the third I believe the parents were issued a ticket.  Haven't heard a peep from them since.  The father even came over and apologized and said that if we ever had any trouble to talk to him directly.
    Wow so he mowed the lawn before you even owned the place so therefore the brats get squatters' rights? Yikes some people are entitled! I think you handled it well.
  • How much attention does this youngster get at home?

    Maybe his parents are nonattentive, busy or don't have time for him.

    You'd be surprised how common this is -- we had more than 1 kid in our neighborhood who was in that same spot when we were all growing up together.

    Perhaps he also simply likes you and your H.:) It doesn't hurt to be a role model for a kid or a good friend to a neighborhood kid. You never know.
  • The next time you find toys in your driveway, just return them & tell the kids (preferably in the presence of their parents) that since you don't have kids of your own, you aren't in the habit of looking for things in the driveway when you are pulling and out of the driveway and would hate to drive over their toys and break them.

    When he comes over to chat, if it's a bad time, just go "Joey, I would love to hear all about that more but we are busy, maybe we can talk later" And if possible make 5-10 minutes later for him. But if they get too annoying, you will have to talk to their parents and just lay down the law.

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