Family Matters
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Ending a Family Relationship

I need to let go of a toxic part of my dad and his new family (which includes my step mother and 2 half sisters).  I haven't talked to my dad and stepmother for over 4 years and I feel the only way to help myself heal is to let go of my sisters as well.  It's been an ugly situation for a long time and I haven't been able to fully move on.  the constant updtaes and family pictures or vacations don't help.  I don't talk to my sisters at all, we are just friends on facebook, but I want to let that go.  One is in college and the other is still in high school.  How can I tell them I need to let go for awhile?  or is this not the best decision?  I need help!

Re: Ending a Family Relationship

  • I hear you loud and clear. It wasn't family and it wasn't toxic, but after an "event" happened w/ some friends, I had to unfriend them on FB for awhile.  We weren't able to be in each others lives for awhile and seeing all the fun they were having w/o us was just too hard. 

    And I told them I was going to do this.  What I basically said was something along the lines of "Love you, sad that things are the way they are right now.  But because of how things are, it's really hard to see everything on FB.  I'm going to unfriend you because of this.  Just for my own self-preservation!  I miss you and hopefully one day we'll be able to see each other again.".

    They understood and in my situation, things did change and we're now in each others lives again. 
  • Is there a way to hide them on FB so you don't see their stuff? If you don't talk to them, it might come off as too harsh to contact them just to tell them you're going to delete them. I would just delete or hide them, especially since you don't talk anyway.
  • There's nothing wrong with letting go or taking a break from people for a while. Sometimes it has to be all about you and what you need. BTW, are you excluded from these vacations, etc?
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  • I don't think you need to "tell" them anything.  Just hide or unfriend them and stop answering any calls or emails from them.  Or reply with a brief, "I am taking some space".
  • I would hide their posts if you can just do that. If your sisters are "innocent" in all the issues between you and your dad, then it would be cruel to cut them off totally. My brothers did that to my sister and I, and it hurt a lot. Hiding their posts means you wont see their stuff anyway. If you think curiosity will get the best of you and you'll seek out their posts even if you hide them, then I guess email them, be frank about the situation and then unfriend them.
  • I would set your facebook page up so that you can't see their pages & set them up so that they have limited views of your page. This way if things change in the future with them, there is no hard feelings and not being able to see their pages will give you some space to figure things out.
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