Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

H

sdecker7sdecker7 member
Second Anniversary
edited December 2013 in Family Matters

Re: H

  • Ugh! I'm sorry you even have to deal with this. Honestly, if it were me, I'd leave or make him leave because cheating is the ultimate deal breaker. I'm sure most of the ladies here would say the same. You might get one or two people here to say stay and work it out, for better or worse, but you guys haven't even been married a year and he broke his vow to you? Fuck that.

    He's already lied to you about the extent of his transgression, how do you know you can ever trust him again? You are always going to be over top of him because of this - can you honestly say you want to put yourself through that?

    And who knows how long this was going on with this other girl....HE introduced her a year ago? HAH! I wouldn't be surprised if he had something going on with her already at that point and figured that by introducing her, it might deflect attention away from what was going on.

    Think long and hard about whether or not you want to stay because once a cheater always a cheater.
    Sillygirl45
  • This girl isn't the problem. She is a symptom of whatever he has going on. If you want to stay together you both need counseling to get to the bottom of this. 

    Personally, it would take an awful lot for me to get over my H saying he wasn't happy and didn't want to marry me in the first place, but was too chicken to lose me so he just went ahead with it. Meanwhile, he was keeping his options open (in his mind) and looking around for another girl to send penis pics to. I'm sure he has confided to this girl all about how unhappy he is. That's why she was still around.

    I'd be much more pissed about the emotional betrayal than a kiss, hell a one night stand would be better than knowing deep down this clown has been complaining about you to some other woman (and lord only knows who else) for the past year...all while you're planning and going through with a wedding and you have no idea. He sounds like an immature ass.

    Oh, I am pissed for you!
    R.Wilsonny
  • Yea, the H is totally at fault here, but let's be honest for a moment about this woman's role in all of this too. She knows this guy is married or committed to someone and rather than backs off, continues to pursue something with him, whether just a fling or with the intention or hope of it turning into something more serious. I have a friend who actually put herself in this same position as 'the other woman' and believe me, when she told me about it, I seriously lost all respect for her. Because when I pointed out to her that what SHE was doing was wrong, and to think about the guy's wife, she basically told me that she didn't care.

    But yea, the H is to blame - I could never stay with someone who cheated. Especially if his own mother knows about it - may as well hang a sign on your forehead saying 'I'm a doormat who will stay with an unfaithful pos'
    Sillygirl45
  • Sillygirl45Sillygirl45 member
    250 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited December 2013
    The girl certainly has her own lack of class and morals as well. I'm sure she's an immature idiot too. That is really the only explanation for women who do this kind of thing. I always side eye anyone who listens to some guy (or woman for that matter) complain about his SO. There's always more to the story and the complainer is usually up to something. I'm talking about inappropriate complaining of course...
    R.Wilsonny
  • OP, can I ask why you deleted your post? You came here asking for advice - was the advice given not what you wanted to hear? Were you expecting us to blow smoke up your ass and tell you to stay with your lying cheating sack of shit husband?
    Sillygirl45
  • I wish I knew the story here.. SHe deleted it, now I wanna know... Being nosy, sorry.. ;)

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image

  • I wish I knew the story here.. SHe deleted it, now I wanna know... Being nosy, sorry.. ;)

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image

  • I wish I knew the story here.. SHe deleted it, now I wanna know... Being nosy, sorry.. ;)

    In a nutshell, she discovered that her H 'kissed' another woman. I'm pretty sure there was more than kissing involved considering she found a cock shot that he texted to this other woman and when confronted about it, he lied and said he meant to text it to her. *cough* bullshit *cough* THENNNN, when she figured it was over with, she found additional texts between him and HIS MOTHER, saying that he kissed this other woman. OP said she actually suspected something was up when her H introduced this chick to her a year ago, so I imagine this little affair was going on for a while - most likely before they were even married. I've probably left out some of the details, but there you have it.

    OP has been married to this guy for less than a year and he shit on their vows by behaving like a lying cheating scumbag. But OP 'loves him' and wants to work things out. But by working things out, it means policing who he is friends with going forward.

    OP, you are free to not take our advice and do as you wish, but don't come crying here when your H inevitably does this again. I say cut your losses and kick him to the curb because there are plenty of men that honor their vows and do not do this to their wives. Your H is definitely not one of them.
    TarponMonoxideSillygirl45cloudymeatballs
  • And btw, I'm not saying this stuff to be rude, but I think OP needs the harsh dose of reality of what her H has done. I realize that for anyone who goes through this, it is hurtful and heart breaking, but why stay with someone who is clearly not 100% commited and will most likely cheat again? Remember, he's the one who broke his vows. You deserve better.
  • edited December 2013
    OP, can I ask why you deleted your post? You came here asking for advice - was the advice given not what you wanted to hear? Were you expecting us to blow smoke up your ass and tell you to stay with your lying cheating sack of shit husband?
    We need to formulate a rule of our own:  First one up who responds to the thread quotes the OP.

    This way it can't be deleted by the OP.

    Cheating?

    He's out.

    That's all you need to do; show him the door. Dealbreaker and goodbye.

    His behavior is nauseating and wrong, in just about every country, galaxy and planet:

    THENNNN, when she figured it was over with, she found additional texts between him and HIS MOTHER, saying that he kissed this other woman. OP said she actually suspected something was up when her H introduced this chick to her a year ago, so I imagine this little affair was going on for a while - most likely before they were even married. I've probably left out some of the details, but there you have it.

    OP has been married to this guy for less than a year and he shit on their vows by behaving like a lying cheating scumbag. But OP 'loves him' and wants to work things out. But by working things out, it means policing who he is friends with going forward.

    OP, you are free to not take our advice and do as you wish, but don't come crying here when your H inevitably does this again. I say cut your losses and kick him to the curb because there are plenty of men that honor their vows and do not do this to their wives. Your H is definitely not one of them.


    Married less than a year = get this joke of a marriage annulled in a civil court.  Indeed this affair's going on way before they got married; why did he even waste the time of the OP???
    cloudymeatballs
  • Good idea on quoting. Because it really sucks when a person comes here for advice and then deletes it. Perhaps they are ashamed to admit that we are right? Who knows.

    For the record, I don't take things lightly when it comes to marital issues. I wouldn't tell someone to just get divorced unless it was something serious. Cheating falls into that category. Cheating = deal breaker
    cloudymeatballs
  • I know it's been suggested before that we copy and paste the original post. I don't usually do it because I feel like if someone wants to delete, that's their business. Maybe they have a good reason. BUT, yes, it's irritating and I actually thought about doing it with this one. Funny, I don't usually even think twice.

    Yeah, pretty sure OPs H has been looking for a plan B long before the wedding. Totally sucks, but the sooner she gets rid of this dude, the sooner she can move on and find someone who isn't a total ass.


  • Oh, thanks @r.wilsonny for the story!!! ;) WOw! Just WOw!!! Cheating is MY Deal breaker!!!! I don't give a shit if it is kissing or what! Cheating is my time I would LEAVE! What an ass! And I get it OP you love this guy, but he obviously doesn't give a shit about your vows. Some people do get thru this, but I would never forget it so I couldn't deal with infidelity! He introduced you to her over a year ago, yes something was going on then. Eeeeewwwww!!! Ugghhh dirty men! Your call OP but he did it once, and you suspected something THEN? I swear I really feel a woman's intuition says a lot. We can usually feel or sense when something is OFF... Good luck OP and I hope you figure out what is right for YOU!

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image

  • Oh, thanks @r.wilsonny for the story!!! ;) WOw! Just WOw!!! Cheating is MY Deal breaker!!!! I don't give a shit if it is kissing or what! Cheating is my time I would LEAVE! What an ass! And I get it OP you love this guy, but he obviously doesn't give a shit about your vows. Some people do get thru this, but I would never forget it so I couldn't deal with infidelity! He introduced you to her over a year ago, yes something was going on then. Eeeeewwwww!!! Ugghhh dirty men! Your call OP but he did it once, and you suspected something THEN? I swear I really feel a woman's intuition says a lot. We can usually feel or sense when something is OFF... Good luck OP and I hope you figure out what is right for YOU!

       Image and video hosting by TinyPicimage image

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards