To make a long story short, my SIL has always had issues with me, and I honestly don't know why. The only thing she has ever said that she has had problems with is the fact that my husband and I lived together before we got married. Her and my younger brother are VERY religious. They almost didn't invite us to their wedding, and all of our family was in the wedding but us. I personally was hurt at the time, but thinking back on it I wouldn't have wanted to be her bridesmaid anyway. We tried to get things more friendly when we had all of our family, including her stand up in our wedding, (which was actually difficult because our wedding was planned before their shotgun wedding). Nothing has worked to break down walls.
So fast forward a little, my husband lost his job, and we have been living on one income which has caused our budget to be very tight. SIL got pregnant and when we asked about throwing a shower for her, she said she didn't want one. Then I ended up being invited to a shower and I was given 2 days to prepare, and I couldn't afford it (she lives out of town) so I didn't go, and I couldn't afford to buy a gift in that amount of time, so I didn't get one for them. This upset her...a LOT. BTW, my older brothers wife got an invite a whole month before I did.
She has since had the baby and had another shower that my sister was invited to, but I wasn't. I had tried to set up a time to go see the new baby and they never get back to me, I don't even have their address, so I can't send them anything. Recently my husband did get a job and when I posted it on FB, SIL said "good, now maybe you can afford to come visit your nephew"-I didn't, and still don't know how to take this, but I'm just letting it go...
Now to my current issue, I was talking to my older brother the other day about a charity event that is coming up in 2 weeks. My older brother said he can't go because that is younger brother and SIL's baby's baptism. He was surprised to hear that I didn't know about it and told me he got an invite in the mail 3 weeks ago. I told my older brother to just let it go, but he didn't. He went to my SIL and told her that I hadn't gotten invited. Yesterday I got a message on FB from her saying "Sorry I forgot to send you an invite, but ____'s Baptism is on ____" and I have yet to respond, because I feel like it is an after-thought. I don't know what to do. I have always tried to be the bigger person and not stir the pot. If I have been able to, I've always gone to their things even though I have usually been invited weeks after everyone else is. My question is, should I even go? I honestly feel like they don't want me in their lives. They don't return phone calls, texts, emails, FB messages ect. I'm honestly to the point that I just don't want to deal with them anymore and I just want to be friendly with them when I have to be around them, but not go out of my way to be with them. What are your thoughts on this? Do you think I should go or not? My husband is totally against me going, and my mom doesn't think I should go either. I just don't know what to do. Thoughts?