I am so disgusted with my family right now and I just need to vent. Some background-In 2012, our family suffered a lot of loss. My mother passed away, my sister’s fiancé died of a drug overdose, and my brother’s girlfriends’ mother died as well. My sister has always been a very selfish person, but believes that she is the most giving person in the world. After the death of her fiancé she became impossible to be around. I know that sounds awful, but she is verbally abusive of everyone, especially her mother, and hostile toward anyone who tries to help her. I have tried over and over again to have her seek help, but she insists that she doesn’t need help and then yells at me about how no one is helping her and she is alone. Everyone has done everything for her. We found a place for her to live, I paid her first, last, and security because she has no money and horrible credit, my fiancé, brother, and I moved her. Her mother, who lives on Social Security, gives her money every month to pay her rent and she eats there every night. Whenever we are together, she attacks everyone’s actions and ideas, and is argumentative and abrasive. Any conversation with her is one way-what she wants, thinks, is doing, etc. So I have distanced myself from her.
My fiancé and I got engaged in March, but did not tell her right away because it was her birthday and I did not want her to feel that I had imposed on her party. When I did tell her, her response was less than enthusiastic. She did mention the flowers and how she would send pictures of what she thought would look nice. (She is a florist) At a family gathering, she asked about our planning. When I told her about the colors, caterer and dj that we had chosen, she had a negative opinion on all of them. The color would not look good on her, I should get so and so’s caterer, and my brother’s friend would dj. I told her that I would not change the color and that she would look very nice in it. If she really felt pale then I would pay for her to get a spray tan. And that we had already put down deposits on the other things and were very happy with them. I have spoken and texted with her about things that she wants to talk about periodically since then, but she has never asked about my wedding planning, except to ask me to change the color repeatedly. When I have mentioned something here or there, she has ignored it, so I just move on and let her talk about herself some more.
Last week, my MOH wanted to meet the other girls in the wedding party that she did not know, so I asked them all over for dinner. We invited my sister because we didn’t want her to feel left out. She was in rare form! She humiliated the MOH by saying things about her that were embarrassing, complained about the color again, and generally did all she could to make the entire evening about herself.
She later asks me to come over so that we can go over flowers. I get there and I am given the world’s worst guilt trip ever! She has known me since I was young, I cut her out of my life, no one talks to her about anything anymore, she is left out of the loop, and she was deeply hurt that we did not tell her about our engagement first. Any type of reason I tried to give her about her behavior she threw back on to me. Long guilt trip short, she becomes a Maid of Honor to compliment my Matron of Honor to make her stop. After I concede to this, she then goes on about my brother. How his GF keeps asking what his role will be in the wedding because he will be hurt if he isn’t involved. She goes on and on about how hurt he will be, so I make him a reader. Let me also add that in between all of this she keeps saying, well it is your day, we all want you to be happy.
Later on, I talk with her mom. When we had spoken about the wedding before, I had asked which of my brothers did she want to walk her to her seat at the beginning of the ceremony. Of the three, she chose my middle brother. My middle brother is cognitively disabled and is the most kind-hearted loveable person in the world. She wanted the day to be special for him. She then tells me that both my sister and my oldest brothers GF have been telling her to make it my oldest brother, because it matters more to him. To keep the peace, she asked that he be the one to walk with her.
I am just so sick of the two of them right now. Neither one of them ever acts like they have any interest in my life. They only call when they want something (usually $) or if they have something that they want to talk about. They don’t come when they are invited over, but expect us to go out of our way to make plans to see them at the last minute, and really aren’t involved with us at all. But they need to be such a part of our wedding that they have to create this nonsense? I am really trying to keep the peace for the other members of the family, because I know that if I say anything, that I will be the bad guy, and any semblance of a relationship that we have will be up in flames, and it will hurt everyone else who isn’t involved. I am just so over it already!