I'm really struggling right now, I snap at tiny things in 2.5 seconds violently. I have the urge when I am driving to just jerk the wheel a little into a tree or another car, it would be so easy. I often get drunk at night and have the urge to take prescriptions with the alcohol. My life isn't any worse than anyone else's right now, I actually have a ton of blessings that I can't seem to appreciate the way I should. I had a really bad childhood that I can't seem to get over. I will watch porn everyday, sometimes multiple times in a day, not for sexual gratification, but for the need to replay over and over some of my childhood. It tears me down that I live in my mothers house and depend on her to pay the mortgage because she is a huge part of why I grew up like I did, but I can't move out right now. I know I need counseling but I'm terrified that either I would get help but mom would be in serious trouble or she doesn't get in trouble and I don't get help. I don't know what to do.
Some of my work.
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<img src="[IMG]http://i46.tinypic.com/9se9no.jpg[/IMG]" width="180px">