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In-laws constantly assume we are pregnant

This is not a rant so much as a bemused observation.

 My husband and I have been happily married for three years. While we never feel any direct pressure from our families to have children soon, my husband's family always jumps to the conclusion that I am pregnant if our behavior is anything out of the ordinary.

If I am feeling sick for a few days in a row, everyone gets together at dinner and concludes that I'm pregnant.

I recently went on vacation with my mom. My husband was at his parents' house while I was away, and his brother's girlfriend asks quietly, "Is she pregnant?"

My husband and I recently adopted a cat and kept it secret for a few days because my MIL was very vocal about how adopting a cat is irresponsible for a couple of childbearing age (don't ask). We must have seemed like we were keeping a secret for a few days because when we finally invited her over to meet her new grandcat, she said, "Oh. We all thought you were acting funny the other night, and we assumed you were pregnant." Nope. Just a cat. I think she may have been secretly disappointed.

I'm half tempted to milk this for all I can by misdirecting the in-laws, but it's not entirely fair to them, and I don't want to make things harder on myself. We're not planning on having children anytime soon, but with my husband's family overanalyzing every move we make, we're often sending out the wrong message somehow.

Have any of you ever dealt with this? Is there anyway to fully convince our families that we are serious about not having children anytime soon?


Re: In-laws constantly assume we are pregnant

  • I would just say to them that when you're pregnant they'll know. You aren't ready yet and you want to do X Y or Z before you have kids (insert whatever here- finish school, buy a home, go on a dream vacation, pay of loans.....) 

    plus your pregnancy plans are really not their business anyway. if you tell them you aren't trying yet they might back off.  

  • PP is right but I would even just say that when you're pregnant they'll know. End of story. Your family plans are none of their business.


  • I hear ya on this! My ILs do not do the weird assumptions, but instead do this sort of creepy set up to us all the time. There was a family reunion at a park this weekend and while DH and I went for a walk, we came upon the playground and saw MIL had gone and taken some of his little cousins over to play there. As soon as we walked up, she magically had to go "get a drink" and left us with the kids. We had fun but when she came back she sat there taking pictures of us and saying in a creepy voice "aren't you guys having fun? Yes. You like playing with the kids. Looks like you need some of your own." She does this every time there is a child in our presence. I wish there was some book that explained why ILs are so ridiculous about kids so we all could understand.
  • I'd probably tease them by adding "not pregnant" into every greeting. 

    "Hi, hello, good to see you again, I'm not pregnant, hi." 

  • If my in-laws were to do the creepy set-up thing, they would be sorely disappointed. I'm a teacher, but I have no idea what to do when I'm around younger children. I led a group of 1st graders at VBS, and when my MIL asked about how it went, I said, "Terribly. First grade is definitely not my thing." She seemed really surprised and said she thought I looked so happy when I was with them! But here's the thing: when I'm done supervising or playing with someone else's children, I can return to my quiet home at the end of the day and get a full night's sleep. Totally different!

    I should definitely greet them each day with, "Hi, how are you guys today? I'm not pregnant." But when I DO get pregnant, I would want to keep it a secret between me and my husband for at least a few weeks. I'm not really one to broadcast my personal business, so as soon as I stop greeting them with "Not pregnant," they would get suspicious. Hmmm...
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