This is my first time peaking over here... I was lured by the hopes of finding some common MIL issues...
Many of the responses for those inquiring about pushy/ b*tchy/ needy/ etc MILs insist that DH should handle it... and I do completely agree, but what if he won't/ can't/ doesn't know how?
To give you a little background... My MIL is a very sweet woman.. but we are very different... I'm strong willed and independent and she is sort of stuck in the 50's... basically wipes her husband's butt. She's works part-time, so she doesn't get how demanding balancing full time career with a commute while managing a household and maintaining a good relationship with family and friends and as a couple.
Anyway- she seems to be almost obsessed with DH (and even me a little). She wants to see us all the time, she is obsessed with our dogs, and now we're having our first baby and she's become obsessed with that... I think its wonderful to be so loved, but come on... get a life.
If we go one weekend without seeing her... she immediately calls to nail down an exact time when she can see us again and it needs to be ASAP. She wants to baby us and cook for us. When we make plans to see my parents, she wants to come along. When we have something even remotely large happen to us - she needs to be involved (DH just bought a new car and she needed to see it asap). and now with the baby on the way.. she wants to make the christening gown, be in the delivery room... I mean... I am having visions of this woman leaning over me grabbing for my child as I learn to breast feed...
Its all really unsettling....its hard to be mean to her, because the intentions are in the right place, but I really need her to back off! DH thinks she is being ridiculous, too, but he doesn't know how to say anything to her... I have given him dialogs to go by, examples, I've threatened him, I've fought with him... and nothing works... he would rather avoid her or not answer her calls... I would like to have a good, BALANCED relationship with her without having this constant anger brewing inside me over her constant neediness.
Phew... ok... any similar issues? advice on what works?