My parents are extremely controlling and typically it has always been easier to let them have their way than to fight it because you can't win. A few months ago I got married and now my parents are trying to control everything we do- what our priorities are, what we spend money on (whether we can afford to buy what they want us to or not), how many times a week we see them (they are demanding "family dinner" 3x a week) and many other things. When they don't get their way they guilt trip me until I give in or make threats.
I'm at my wit's end. My dad and I had a spat today. My DH recently accumulated about $1500 in unexpected medical bills and we are putting all of our extra money towards paying those off as well as repairs to my car because we hit a deer the week before last. My dad demanded today that we put money towards various other home projects right away that he thinks are more important even though DH and I have already agreed on a plan and timeline for everything. When I told dad this he just threatened that he would not pay for any car repairs or home repairs, which is fine b/c we had no intention of asking him. My mother is also mad because we don't want to hang out and watch movies after thanksgiving dinner until 11pm because we want to see DHs family, too.
I don't know what to do. Talking with them doesn't work. I've tried that multiple times and the only thing that happens is I end up crying uncontrollably as they call me ungrateful and go into passive-aggressive mode for the next several weeks.
Does anyone else deal with parents or ILs like this and how do you handle it? Any advice?
I just want the right for DH and I to make our own decisions as a family without all the meddling.