Mainly posting because I need to vent...It's a long story but I'll try to keep it as short as I can.
My FI and I (getting married in a year) are looking for a house. We currently live together in a small house and although it's a little cramped for space, it's not unbearable. Nonetheless, we really would like more space and we have the means to afford a bigger place.
We've been looking at houses for almost 6 months now. We're not in a rush, which makes it nice because we're able to really see what we want and don't want. We've come a bunch of conclusions, including that we want to be in one of two suburbs in our small-medium sized city and we want a four bedroom, 2.5 bathroom.
Well, we found a great house with everything and more than we wanted! We brought my ILs to see the house because my FI really wanted them to see it first (I know, that's another issue all together - they shouldn't be involved, but oh well) and they were like "it's okay".
Later that day we decided to put in an offer regardless of their less than enthusiastic reaction. We didn't tell his parents before putting in the offer because I told him not to. This is mainly because a few months ago we wanted to put in an offer on a house and they were much less than happy about it - I'll get to why in a minute...
After putting in the offer, he told his parents. They FREAKED OUT. His dad literally yelled at him on the phone for 20 minutes - telling him that the house is too expensive and too big for us. His dad went on to say that "he thought he was smart with numbers but putting in the offer was just stupid and ridiculous". In reality, it's not too expensive, my FI is an accountant and is in fact, very good with budgeting and running numbers. We can definitely afford this house.
On the note that it's too big, well maybe. Yes, we won't need all four bedrooms for probably 6-8 years, but we want a four bedroom because it gives us the option of not having to move someday once kids come.
This same thing happened the previous time we were looking, which is why my FI didn't initially tell them we were putting in an offer. We never put in an offer on the last house because they hated it so much.
On another note, I think another reason they don't want us to buy any of the houses we are looking at is because his mom doesn't like the area. We've realized this because his mom offered us $15,000 to buy an ever bigger house over our budget in a neighborhood she loves and which also happens to be 3 minutes from her house. The neighborhoods we are looking at are 15 minutes away and she has already commented "it are so far out". In reality, it is a much more convenient location IMO.
My mom says that his parents shouldn't be involved in OUR home buying process, which is true. We are both adults and can make our own decisions. However, it is very difficult when his parents make him, and therefore me, very upset when we do tell them any little thing.
I know one obvious solution is not to tell them anything until we buy a house. My FI and I don't want to do this though, mainly because we both know they would be hurt and probably more furious. We're also both very close to our respective parents and talk about things with them. I really don't blame him for not wanting his parents to be furious at him. I don't want them to be yelling at him either.
I feel like no matter what, they will never be happy though. The only other thing I can think of is sit down with his parents and my mom, who is very supportive of our decisions and knows we can afford a house, and discuss with everyone why we want what we want and how we will be buying a four bdr, 2.5 bath, in our budgeted price range no matter what. My mom will be present to help our cause haha.
I know it's probably a stupid idea, but I can't stand it anymore. This isn't the only thing his parents are freaking about either. They think our traditional wedding is too extravagant also. I guarantee it is not. We are so far keeping to our very reasonable $12-15000 budget. Just because their wedding reception was at a park and pizza and wings were served, doesn't mean ours is going to be. Their wedding was NOT NORMAL!
Omgsh and you should have seen them when we mentioned our plans for our honeymoon to Maui. You would have thought we were planning a trip to the moon or buying our own private island. They of course went on a hiking trip a few hours away.
They think that just because they didn't have any money when they got married and couldn't afford things that we can't either. We both have good jobs and the means to afford this stuff.
Okay, I could go on, but I'll stop.
Oh, and btw, we didn't get the house. After his parents reaction though, we're a little relieved, which is sad