Family Matters
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Family or not...

Recently, I was told by my BIL he has noticed that while in the presence of the in-laws, they treat one person in the family differently than anybody else in the family. This person is treated as less than an equal. While visiting the parents, I took particular notice of the many pictures displayed. There is a family collage with pictures from years gone by. There are also may portraits and several assorted pictures with family and extended family members. The grand children through the years, the great-grand children and their families. However I noticed that one person in particular is not pictured anywhere in the home. Now it really seems awkward seeing everybody represented with one often being singled out.

Should we say something to the parents about this?

«1

Re: Family or not...

  • Should something be said to the individual? I mean, do we have an obligation or should we just turn our back to the issue?
  • No, is it you? 
  • Yes. My SIL came up to me last week and told me her husband has noticed. Had my suspicions. Never had confirmation.
  • image kptinker:
    Yes. My SIL came up to me last week and told me her husband has noticed. Had my suspicions. Never had confirmation.
  • I've always thought I had a good relationship with them. There were racial issues initially. I'm half Puerto Rican, and MIL grew up in a very racist family. She even went so far as to use the "N" word once when referring to me. I'm wondering if she still
  • image MLE2010:

    image kptinker:
  • I remember you....didn't you post something about your inlaws recently and then proceed to argue with everyone who was trying to offer you solutions to your problem? If your inlaws are causing you this much distress, why are you even bothering with them?
  • I doubt that talking will resolve the issue. People like that are not changed by words. Keep in mind that the rest of the family probably likes you and considers you family. 
  • image R.Wilsonny:
    I remember you....didn't you post something about your inlaws recently and then proceed to argue with everyone who was
  • image kptinker:

    I'm not fishing. I was having a conversation with my SIL, and a particular night at their house was mentioned. That's wh

  • OH JEEZUS!
  • Ok, Her first husband was very demanding. She couldn't wear make-up, had to work despite him being in the fire dept and a new baby at home. He would often see her one night then due to his 4 on-4 off schedule, he would say, see ya in a week. Many, many

  • Why do you stay married to her? Seriously? You do not like your wife or her family. Every time you come here it is to gripe about her and her family. Just leave her if she makes you that miserable.
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  • image PnkBride:
    Why do you stay married to her? Seriously? You do not like your wife or her family. Every time you come here it is to gr
  • image kptinker:

    image PnkBride:</strong
  • Your BIL should have just stfu and I suggest you do the same. If you are so worried why your photo is not displayed, print out about 100 or so head shots and stick them on EVERYONE'S face. It is their home and they are free to display whomever they wan

  • image My2cents4u:

    Your BIL should have just stfu and I suggest you do the same. If you are so worried why your photo is not displayed, p

  • image doglove:
    OH JEEZUS!
    Lol. I'm going to hang out w you. 

     

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  • Well. That escalated quickly. 
  • image kptinker:
    image My2cents4u:
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  • Now I am wondering why they do not want photos of such a charming individual?

    It is going to save them time of taking them down once you are no longer family?

    The answer I gave you was simple, it is not your business what photos they displa

  • image My2cents4u:

    Now I am wondering why they do not want photos of such a charming individual?

    It is going to save them time of t

  • Ok, ok, maybe you guys are right. But I just got hit with something. We were over her parents. He's really not doing well. While the girls were out of the room, he tells me he has three months to live and not to say anything to anybody. If I tell my wife,
  • Nothing good can come of you mentioning this picture thing to you inlaws. You will just come off as being sulky and butthurt. And they aren't going to change. I'm sorry they were racist towards you. They suck. But that's just one more giant red flag in

  • I would tell her but I don't play games and hide information from my spouse. 

    Yes I was in a similar situation at one time and I knew my H would never forgive me if I didn't tell him. It also is extremely unfair to you to be put in this posi

  • It was a strange evening. The girls were upstairs talking, and we were downstairs. I know.. nothing unusual about that, but what he said to me. After lobbing the bombshell, he said, "I want you to know all those years I said I didn't like you, I was on

  • image Djinxs:
    Well. That escalated quickly. 

    It always does when he's confronted with the fact that HIS ex

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  • The four of them, parents and two daughters, meet with the oncologist this morning. When I get home tonight from work, I will find out if he said anything to them. If not, I will tell my wife tonight, but I will give him today to say something.
  • image kptinker:
    The four of them, parents and two daughters, meet with the oncologist this morning. When I get home tonight from work, I
    image

    Chronically hilarious - you'll split your stitches!
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