Sex & Romance
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Seeking Advice

I have never posted here before but had a conversation last night with my husband that made me want to ask the advice. I have been married for 6 years and with my husband for 11 years. We have a great relationship. We communicate well, we are able to settle arguments, we have a ton of fun together, etc.

However in the last year our sex life has diminished in frequency. We both still really enjoy it when we do have sex but what used to be 2-3 times a week is now more like 2 times a month. I have not been happy with this change but he just didn't seem that interested in having sex more often so I figured he would initiate sex more often if he wanted to do it more often. So I opted to give him some space and let him come around.

Lately our sex life has gotten better and we have been having sex more frequently. Last night I was asking him if there is any thing he would like to change in our sex life and it came out that over the course of the last year he had been feeling very frustrated by our diminishing sex life. In fact he had gotten into the habit of masturbating either during the day or late at night after I was asleep. I am really hurt by this and would much rather have him pursue having sex with me rather than satisfying his needs and having no sexual energy by the evening when we are together.

Has anyone ever been through something like this? Does anyone have any advice about how to make my husband more vocal about his needs? Any other advice? Thank you!

Re: Seeking Advice

  • It You say that you communicate well, but you really haven't been. You weren't happy, he wasn't happy, and neither of you knew about the other. Try to make time every day/week/month when you are free from distractions -- no kids, phones, tv, games, etc

  • This isn't just about getting him to communicate, you didn't communicate your needs either. Sex seems to be such a taboo subject for some couples and instead of talking about their needs people avoid them. Avoiding any issue never works. If you're having
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    image TxCrazyMom:

    You say that you communicate well, but you really haven't been. You weren't happy, he wasn't happy, and neither of you

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  • image tiffanysbride:
    This isn't just about getting him to communicate, you didn't communicate your needs either. Sex seems to be such a
  • Thank you. That is really helpful!
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