Okay, been married 4 months tomorrow (yip-pee). I have my own issues; I've been diagnosed as bipolar by my psychotherapist. I've been diagnosed with depression in the past (several episodes), but have finally found a doctor that will confirm what I've pretty much suspected all along (the bipolar). So, I'm on meds for that, and anyone who's had a mental illness knows that meds don't work the very day you start taking them-they take time. You didn't develop the illness overnight, and it can't be cured that way. I've told my therapist that I've had the extremly angry episodes that set me off, to the mood swings where I won't eat and feel like crap all day. I've told him that my H has had to deal with these moods in the past, and admit that I do get angry (like want to punch the wall angry) at him for little things (to him), like leaving dishes in the sink when the dishwasher is 3 inches away (big, blow-up things to me). I know that's my problem-and I'm doing the best I can to work on it. For example: I work a job that isn't 9-5, with Th/Fri off. I don't have a M-F job like my H where I get to sleep in on the weekends like him. (Weekends are earlier hours for me). On my days off, I run errands, clean up, do things like that. He's said in the past that I can ask him to do things if I need him to, so I wouldn't always have to. So I did. I asked him to go to the grocery store so I could have things for my lunches during the week. He didn't go for 4 days. Why didn't I go myself? He would tell me before I would go to work "I'm going today." Why didn't I go anyway after the 2nd day? Beats me. I guess I have something called faith. Was I pissed? Yes. Does it seem like something to be pissed about? Maybe. When he needs me to run an errand, I do it that day or the next. I just like getting things done when people ask me. Next thing: I wake up earlier on the weekends for work. I ask him to make my lunch for me (just to save me time, and I try to make his lunches for him during the week). 2 days for me, 5 for him. He stays in bed, saying "yeah, I will here in a minute." That turns into 15 minutes, and guess what? I have to go to work. Do I get mad? Yep. He doesn't get the (my) logic as to why I get upset. After we got married, I quit making his lunches and breakfasts for him because I was sick of never getting a 'thank you,' never getting the favor returned, and tired of it! He gets pissed as I-don't-know-what and tells me that since the wedding, I quit doing that because I 'got what I wanted.' So, I picked it back up (after explaining all of the above), and have asked him a few times to do the same for me. After I get mad, I try to cool myself down and then explain to him calmly why I was upset. It always turns into him saying "I can't do anything right, I don't know what you want from me, I don't know why I try, I give up, I can't make you happy, I f*ck up and you blow up, etc." I already admitted that I have a problem and am getting help for it. He turns it into "You get angry and have an attitude for 3 days, and if I don't do something when you want it, how you want it, I just can't do anything right!" I feel like he's playing the victim role here, and almost like he's throwing the BP back in my face, like since I'M the one with the problem, it's MY fault for everything that goes wrong in our relationship. I'm not saying he doesn't have valid points. But when his bad attitude is MY fault, then anything and everything is all my problem, not his.