Two weeks before our wedding, my then-future MIL told my then-fiance her estranged brother was having health issues and might pass away soon, and she told him if that happened, she'd go to the funeral instead of the wedding. She then asked if she was important enough for us to postpone the ceremony so she could come too (this was after we practically let her pick the wedding date, she was travelling the furthest and had the strictest schedule of all guests at our small ceremony). My fiance sided with his mother on this one, said she had to be at his wedding and if we needed to change the date, that's what he would do. I was angry, I felt she was blackmailing him and since we had many other family members flying in, our non-refundable deposits paid for the ceremony site and honeymoon, I didn't think changing the date because of this conflict was possible or even a reasonable thing to request. I used my then-future brother-in-law to help get his mother on the plane and to the wedding as scheduled. Her brother passed away a month after our wedding.
I am still angry at my MIL for putting me thru a few days of emotional hell before the wedding and for then acting as though I was unreasonable for not saying "okay, the wedding date is flexible." My husband doesn't feel she made an inappropriate request either, but my anger is affecting how I feel about my MIL. She is not sorry for asking if she was important enough to change the wedding date, and she doesn't think she should apologize. I know the only way I can get past what happened is to try to forgive her, but now that my husband and I are starting to make plans for trips and some smaller receptions around the country (my family is spread out across the country, getting everyone together for one big one isn't feasible), I'm frustrated that he keeps putting her feelings over mine.