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newly wed wife of a firefighter

I have been married since June 23rd of 2012, my husband just before christmas, got accepted onto the volunteer firefighter department in our town and i am just wondering if there are any wives/girlfriends etc that have the same situation, i have a good friend who's husband has been on it about a year now and she says its a "lonely life"  but i think it is because their scheduale is very different from ours, they work opposite hours of eachother whereas my hubby and i work same hours... Any advice would be appreciated. ups or downs etc.


Thanks a bunch! 

Re: newly wed wife of a firefighter

  • MY advice to you is to find something to do during your "down time."

    Take up a hobby or indulge in one. Volunteer, go to the gym, sign up for a class -- whatever you are interested in, do it.:)
  • Thanks, Last Friday was his first meeting he was gone from about 7-11 and i ended up relaxing on the couch under a blanket with our shepherd watching a movie, i feel good that we have some time apart, where as my friend feels i should want us to be together a newly wed we lived together for 3 years before marriage well actually after a month of dating in 08 he moved me to where he lived and weve been together since, ups and downs have caused trials...but we are strong...
  • Don't worry, your not alone. I got married in Sept, 2012 and my husband has been on a full-time dept for 3 years now. I don't know if your volunteer department is the same or not since you said he has a schedule. Before my husband was full time, he was on a volunteer hall for a year and they didn't have any hours. Only a pager that went off when they had a call. So he could get a call anytime of the day, any day of the year. I much prefer him being on full time since he has a set schedule, although it can get a bit lonely. But just find things to fill your time. Use it to catch up with friends, finish up some housework, start a good book, whatever you have been meaning to do but haven't found time:)
  • thankyou! by scheduale i mean our work ones, we both work monday to friday 8-5 and his voluenteer is whenever he gets a call he can go if he wants, but they have to make at least 40% to be on the department.. he has a meeting each friday/ training and then the guys meet for a few drinks afterwards, usually home by 11 he said... friday was a nice chance for me, i relaxed with our dogs till he got home, i really really enjoyed main problem is i just felt so worried as what my friend was saying, but when i came to see that our relationships are both VERY different in life wise and schedule wise, it helped alot and i am feeling better about it. i am proud of him for the amazing things he will be doing to help others in need.
  • I am also a wife of a firefighter, and I won't sugarcoat this one for you: Sometimes it can be tough. The hours are inconsistent because they only go in when there is a problem. Sometimes that means holidays, birthdays, middle of dinner, date night... they might all be interrupted by the fire company. 


     Volunteer firefighters are not required to go to every call. I suggest sitting down with your husband and talking about some of the situations in which the pager goes off and it's just the two of you. It could be a specific event, or a night of the week that is just yours. That way, the fire company doesn't cut into important time together. 


    Keep in mind that your husband does one of the coolest, most heroic things ever. Try to get involved in the fire company so you are showing support and getting to know the fire family. It is a great community, and I feel blessed to be a part of it.

    Be proud, while also protecting your new marriage.


  • thanks for your advice! i am taking all of it into thought and it is helping me alot...he has not gone to his first fire call yet (he just started) so he has training to go to, im trying to learn as much as i can about the department and training so i am more confidant when he goes out, that he will return back, i dont think they will send him very far without proper training first.   it is very helpful knowing i am not alone 

  • Hello from another (very proud) fire wife! My DH is a volunteer also, and is extremely dedicated to it. We were also married in Sept 2012 and had pics taken of us with the engines, and some of him with his helmet on. Yep, he's THAT dedicated.

    I agree with the PP who said it can be downright rough. Sometimes, its almost like being a military wife. One thing you do have to accept is there is always the chance he will not come home. Also, he will see and experience things that may mess him up for life. Be ready to be an emotional and sometimes physical support for him, because it sure isn't easy. When it comes to fire calls, accept the fact that plans will get cancelled because of them. We have been very late to things or even cancelled on friends because DH had a serious fire call. He will learn, over time, that some calls are (for lack of a better term) BS and he may not have to bother responding.

    Some things that do happen to some FF's, but not all, include: using the hall as a getaway from life, drinking with the guys, a complete renovation of friend-groups, and a sudden flooding of your social schedule with parades, boot drives, and other events. Know when a little is ok, and too much is just that. Also, be prepared for FF funerals. Saddest. things. EVER.

    Firefighting is a brotherhood. Fire wives are a sisterhood. If you ever need advice, feel free to msg me.

  • I am starting to get a better understanding of the group he is apart of.. Though i was very stupid at the start when he first joined and let my friends words on HER experience, sink into me and that was my main opinion, it was terrible because her life was lacking her husband.... Mine is not like that at all. and sure its still fresh and new that he is on the department and there will be good and bad days ahead, but i am ready for them..i love my husband and i am very proud of what he is doing as well as anyone else out there that does it. and for the wives that responded to this, thank-you your support is very appreciated and it has really helped give me a better understanding as to what we are getting into.
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