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To Move or to Stay

My husband and I moved about 3.5 hours from "home" for our first jobs. The dilemma is that all of our family and friends are back "home" and are expecting us to move back; however, we have been in the new area for over a year and both love our jobs, the new church we are going to, and some new aquaitances. We are torn about leaving because we worry about finding other jobs just as great as our current ones. The payoff of being with family would not be worth the stress of being in a bad job. What are your thoughts?

Re: To Move or to Stay

  • image dustyjayo:
    My husband and I moved about 3.5 hours from "home" for our first jobs. The dilemma is that all of our family and friends are back "home" and are expecting us to move back; however, we have been in the new area for over a year and both love our jobs, the new church we are going to, and some new aquaitances. We are torn about leaving because we worry about finding other jobs just as great as our current ones. The payoff of being with family would not be worth the stress of being in a bad job. What are your thoughts?

    You answered your own question.  

    And your family can expect anything they want.  I expect you to give me a million dollars for my incredible advice...

  • If you guys are happy where you are, then absolutely you should stay and your family needs to respect that decision. Maybe down the road you will want to be closer, like if you have children, but even then, this is a personal decision you guys make together as a couple. Don't let your family pressure you.

     

  • 3.5 hours is not really that far away. It's possible to make day trips there or even short overnight trips. Your family shouldn't expect you to drop your lives just so you can be near them. If you lived all the way across the country that would be one thing, but 3.5 hours? I would stay put and enjoy visiting them when possible.

    "Do the best you can, until you know better. Then when you know better, do better." 

    -Maya Angelou


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  • Stay where you are. You guys are both happy. I can understand wanting to be close to home, but pp is right, you're not that far from home right now. You and H are both hesitant to leave your current city. That should be your answer right there. If moving back home was the right thing to do, I don't think you all would be so hesitant.

    Enjoy your current town right now and maybe down the road you and your H will decide that you're ready to go back home. If not, you can stay put and continue to enjoy it there. 

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  • image BeckyOff:

    image dustyjayo:
    My husband and I moved about 3.5 hours from "home" for our first jobs. The dilemma is that all of our family and friends are back "home" and are expecting us to move back; however, we have been in the new area for over a year and both love our jobs, the new church we are going to, and some new aquaitances. We are torn about leaving because we worry about finding other jobs just as great as our current ones. The payoff of being with family would not be worth the stress of being in a bad job. What are your thoughts?

    You answered your own question.  

    And your family can expect anything they want.  I expect you to give me a million dollars for my incredible advice...

    This literally made me lol.

    this exactly. Family and friends can expect whatever the hell they want. To be honest this seems like a non issue. You two are happy where you are so you two can stay where you are. If your family and friends don't like it then they can friggin move to you.

    The only thing I can think of is do your best to keep in touch by phone email whatever and see them. 

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  • Stay.

    It sounds like the choice to move is playing out really well for you.

    DH's family used to play this card until he explained that the people who really cared about him would want him to live in a place where he could best use his talents and education.

  • image BeckyOff:

    image dustyjayo:
    My husband and I moved about 3.5 hours from "home" for our first jobs. The dilemma is that all of our family and friends are back "home" and are expecting us to move back; however, we have been in the new area for over a year and both love our jobs, the new church we are going to, and some new aquaitances. We are torn about leaving because we worry about finding other jobs just as great as our current ones. The payoff of being with family would not be worth the stress of being in a bad job. What are your thoughts?

    You answered your own question.  

    And your family can expect anything they want.  I expect you to give me a million dollars for my incredible advice...

    Haha-this! 3.5 hrs really isn't too bad.  If you guys are happy, stay where you are and just make the drive back to visit.  You spend the majority of every day at work vs. seeing friends/family maybe once a week?  You could keep your eye out on the job market back home, but I wouldn't go to crazy with a job search when you're both happy where you're at. 

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  • image BeckyOff:

    image dustyjayo:
    My husband and I moved about 3.5 hours from "home" for our first jobs. The dilemma is that all of our family and friends are back "home" and are expecting us to move back; however, we have been in the new area for over a year and both love our jobs, the new church we are going to, and some new aquaitances. We are torn about leaving because we worry about finding other jobs just as great as our current ones. The payoff of being with family would not be worth the stress of being in a bad job. What are your thoughts?

    You answered your own question.  

    And your family can expect anything they want.  I expect you to give me a million dollars for my incredible advice...

    LOL this!  


  • You aren't obligated to stay in the nest forever!  You don't have to move back just because they miss you and expected you to come "home" as soon as you'd put in a year at your jobs.

    Don't get into a big discussion with them over this, and don't spend a lot of time making excuses or explaining yourselves to them.  Doing so will only give them the feeling that they are entitled to call the shots for you.

    Just say, "we like living here and we are not planning on moving back at this time."  End of story. Done.  

    I know it's hard to do things that go against your parents' wishes, even if you're technically an adult.  It gets easier with practice!  One day, decisions like this won't even faze you. 

  • I agree with all of PP.  3 1/2 hours is not that bad.  It's not like you live on the opposite coast and can only see your family if you take a vacation and more than likely fly out there!

    If you're happy with the area you're living at, your families need to respect your decision

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    TTC since June 2012

  • Stay. We are happily living 3 hours north of H's parents and 5 hours south of mine. It works. :)
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