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so i'm probably being a wimp but...

For 3 years my husband and I have been fighting the difficult economy and now my husband has a job offer in another city. While I am excited and hope he gets the job, it has become kind of a realization that I am not only moving again (i was a military brat) but I am moving the farthest I have ever been away from family. I got used to living in a 30 minute to an hour radius from family. For the past 8 years, I have gotten close to my family and now I'm terrified of moving. I want him to get it and have every intention to go with him and be there for him. My husband knows how i feel but i still feel nervous about it. i don't ever want to tell him don't take the job but I am nervous. If you have ever faced this sort of situation what did you do to get rid of this fear?

Re: so i'm probably being a wimp but...

  • Not exactly where you're at yet, but we both want to move and are getting ready to look at jobs in other areas.

    With today's economy, you unfortunately have to go where the jobs are.  Once you get settled and start meeting some friends, I'm sure you'll feel a lot better.

    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • When my DH and I were engaged he got a job offer in Nebraska (we live and our families are in Michigan). I was so scared and sad. I told him I would go with him and support him but on the inside I felt like I was dying. I have never lived far away from my family. Luckly for me, the job wasn't what he was looking for and we weren't in need so he declined the job. Whew. I am sure we will be faced with a decision like this again someday as Michigan is not the best place for jobs.

    Good luck in your situation. Whatever happens you will adapt.

    BabyFetus Ticker Anniversary
  • While this isn't entirely the same...

    I'm English and my husband is American. We live in Maryland... I moved from England to be with him and none of my family live here. It was one of the weirdest feelings - dumping half my stuff to make that kind of a move, leaving my family, my friends all having babies right now that I've never met - the hardest thing I've ever had to do but moving to be with my husband (then bf) felt natural.

    More recently, he's been trying to get a job in Texas because of the crazy col out here. I never wanted to move to Texas but he's been talking about this since June so I've been gearing myself up for it. I'm petrified of making another huge move so soon (before this I only moved within the town we lived in) but things like lower col, ability to own rather than rent, less humidity in summer etc... I was focusing on all the things that were positive.

    Incidently, its now happened that we might not get to go to Texas and I spent so many months telling myself it'd be good for us that the idea of staying has me petrified. We're trying for kids right now - if we stay, thats not an affordable option for a few more years - and early menopause runs in my family (my Mum was 32).

    The fear never goes away completely. For me personally, I have to do research to fully prepare myself. I focus on the good things. Texas at least isn't the other side of the world... he's thinking about Australia in the next few years and I already haven't seen my family but once in two years.

  • imageAmt2109:

    While this isn't entirely the same...

    I'm English and my husband is American. We live in Maryland... I moved from England to be with him and none of my family live here. It was one of the weirdest feelings - dumping half my stuff to make that kind of a move, leaving my family, my friends all having babies right now that I've never met - the hardest thing I've ever had to do but moving to be with my husband (then bf) felt natural.

    More recently, he's been trying to get a job in Texas because of the crazy col out here. I never wanted to move to Texas but he's been talking about this since June so I've been gearing myself up for it. I'm petrified of making another huge move so soon (before this I only moved within the town we lived in) but things like lower col, ability to own rather than rent, less humidity in summer etc... I was focusing on all the things that were positive.

    Incidently, its now happened that we might not get to go to Texas and I spent so many months telling myself it'd be good for us that the idea of staying has me petrified. We're trying for kids right now - if we stay, thats not an affordable option for a few more years - and early menopause runs in my family (my Mum was 32).

    The fear never goes away completely. For me personally, I have to do research to fully prepare myself. I focus on the good things. Texas at least isn't the other side of the world... he's thinking about Australia in the next few years and I already haven't seen my family but once in two years.

    I'm from Texas and I will warn you if you do get down here prepare for hot summers and warm winters. It wasn't until mid-December that the temperature finally dropped below 60 this past year. It can get beautiful depending what time of the year but it can get hot so make sure you have air conditioning in your cars and home.

    Thank you all for sharing. I'm not going that far away but it does help to know that I'm not alone in the feelings.

  • imagekagome772010:
    imageAmt2109:

    While this isn't entirely the same...

    I'm English and my husband is American. We live in Maryland... I moved from England to be with him and none of my family live here. It was one of the weirdest feelings - dumping half my stuff to make that kind of a move, leaving my family, my friends all having babies right now that I've never met - the hardest thing I've ever had to do but moving to be with my husband (then bf) felt natural.

    More recently, he's been trying to get a job in Texas because of the crazy col out here. I never wanted to move to Texas but he's been talking about this since June so I've been gearing myself up for it. I'm petrified of making another huge move so soon (before this I only moved within the town we lived in) but things like lower col, ability to own rather than rent, less humidity in summer etc... I was focusing on all the things that were positive.

    Incidently, its now happened that we might not get to go to Texas and I spent so many months telling myself it'd be good for us that the idea of staying has me petrified. We're trying for kids right now - if we stay, thats not an affordable option for a few more years - and early menopause runs in my family (my Mum was 32).

    The fear never goes away completely. For me personally, I have to do research to fully prepare myself. I focus on the good things. Texas at least isn't the other side of the world... he's thinking about Australia in the next few years and I already haven't seen my family but once in two years.

    I'm from Texas and I will warn you if you do get down here prepare for hot summers and warm winters. It wasn't until mid-December that the temperature finally dropped below 60 this past year. It can get beautiful depending what time of the year but it can get hot so make sure you have air conditioning in your cars and home.

    Thank you all for sharing. I'm not going that far away but it does help to know that I'm not alone in the feelings.

    OP you go where the money is & the best job opportunity. We left all our family and moved to FL this past year. I miss Texas more than I ever thought I would and my family. The best thing to do is get in the car and explore, try new food and meet people. You may learn to love your new place, I haven't yet but I haven't been her long.

    To Amt, you may hate the summers in Texas but the people are really nice. Texas women love to shop and you will have more stores to choose from than you could imagine.  

  • imageMLE2010:
    imagekagome772010:
    imageAmt2109:

    While this isn't entirely the same...

    I'm English and my husband is American. We live in Maryland... I moved from England to be with him and none of my family live here. It was one of the weirdest feelings - dumping half my stuff to make that kind of a move, leaving my family, my friends all having babies right now that I've never met - the hardest thing I've ever had to do but moving to be with my husband (then bf) felt natural.

    More recently, he's been trying to get a job in Texas because of the crazy col out here. I never wanted to move to Texas but he's been talking about this since June so I've been gearing myself up for it. I'm petrified of making another huge move so soon (before this I only moved within the town we lived in) but things like lower col, ability to own rather than rent, less humidity in summer etc... I was focusing on all the things that were positive.

    Incidently, its now happened that we might not get to go to Texas and I spent so many months telling myself it'd be good for us that the idea of staying has me petrified. We're trying for kids right now - if we stay, thats not an affordable option for a few more years - and early menopause runs in my family (my Mum was 32).

    The fear never goes away completely. For me personally, I have to do research to fully prepare myself. I focus on the good things. Texas at least isn't the other side of the world... he's thinking about Australia in the next few years and I already haven't seen my family but once in two years.

    I'm from Texas and I will warn you if you do get down here prepare for hot summers and warm winters. It wasn't until mid-December that the temperature finally dropped below 60 this past year. It can get beautiful depending what time of the year but it can get hot so make sure you have air conditioning in your cars and home.

    Thank you all for sharing. I'm not going that far away but it does help to know that I'm not alone in the feelings.

    OP you go where the money is & the best job opportunity. We left all our family and moved to FL this past year. I miss Texas more than I ever thought I would and my family. The best thing to do is get in the car and explore, try new food and meet people. You may learn to love your new place, I haven't yet but I haven't been her long.

    To Amt, you may hate the summers in Texas but the people are really nice. Texas women love to shop and you will have more stores to choose from than you could imagine.  

    Amt yeah shopping is kind of a major past time for women here. LOL
  • I would go for it, as scary as the whole situation may be. I was a mommy's girl up until my senior year of HS. Never went on trips without her, never even spent the night at a friend's house because I didn't want to be away from her. One day I realized I had to get out of OR, packed up my stuff and went to college in NH. Met DH there and eventually moved to CT to be with him, where we are now. It was terrifying having to make such a life-changing decision, but I'm really glad I did. It helped me grow as a person when I was 3000 miles away from home. There are days where I would give anything to live within close distance of my family, but for the most part it has been an incredible experience and one I don't regret.
  • OP, I can sympathize.  When DH and I started dating, I lived in Maine and he lived in NY (about an 8 hour drive) and ultimately I moved to NY because my part of Maine does not have a strong economy and DH was in law school.  It was quite an adjustment to leave my family and friends.  I became very resentful but at the end of the day, DH makes more money than me and I have the kind of job that I can do anywhere so it doesn't make sense to move to an area with a bad economy and have DH re-establish himself when he has a good job here. 

     

    I wish you the best!

    PitaPata Cat tickers Anniversary
  • Ok, first off, you are NOT being a wimp. Being a wimp would mean you would demand he not even look elsewhere,etc. I have also moved dozens of times, although I am not a military brat. High respect for you in that regard, though. As soon as you hear if he gets the job, take a 2-3 day weekend and visit the area to check out churches (if you are religious) or the nightlife, anything and everything except for homes just yet. Only look at things to do and possible friends that you'll make. You'll feel better if you do that before you look for a home/apt. I did that with my mother before I moved to TX and love it here. Sure, it gets hot in the summer; but even my chicago born and bred hubby to be doesn't mind it.
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