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Did you share XMAS expenses?

1) So I bought gifts for my own nieces and also for my husband's neice and two nephews. And I wrote on the gift that its from both of us.  First of all, it kind of bothers me that he really doesn't care to buy something for his nieces and nephews. Second, he doesn't really ask me how much I spent or anything like that.

2) My husband and his sibling put money together and get their parents a gift but only put their names on it. I just feel like if each household is contributing, the gift should have both names.. When my sibling put money together for my parents its assumed that the gifts are from the couples too...

 Any thoughts? What do you guys do?

Re: Did you share XMAS expenses?

  • Even if your finances are seperate vs joint I would assume the main gifts are from the couple not one person. Have you talked about this? Assuming this is your first Christmas together I would use it to sort out your expectations in the future. 
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  • First off nieces and nephews from both sides of our family are ours, not his & mine. That's how we see it anyway. Usually we buy their gifts together. This year H was a lazy butt and I bought all the presents for our 3 nieces and 1 nephew. They're all from both of us and both our names were on all the presents.

     In my family if there is a group gift to parents it is assumed to be from everyone including the people who married into the family. And everyone signs their names.

     If these issues bother you, talk them over with your H and get on the same page.

  • Yea I will.. Thanks for the response.
  • I don't have any nieces or nephews on my side that we buy gifts for, but there is a niece on DH's side.  She is our niece...not his niece.  We bought her gifts (meaning...I bought her the gift and wrapped the gift), and I put that it was from both of us.  Same with the gifts from the parents.  DH is horrible when it comes sto stuff like that and will wait until the very last minute to buy gifts.  So, I bought all the gifts for his side of the family and wrapped them.  I put that they were from the both of us.  I feel that it's expected.

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  • Are your finances seperate? I'm not a fan of this unless a spouse has a money spending problem or an account has money that was inherited or special circumstances with it. A joint account should be in place for bills, groceries or misc. This would fall under misc expenses and should be out of the mutual pot so to speak. 

    I am all for seperate fun money accounts if that is what a couple wants but the main account should be mutual IMO. Also, I'm a little confused by the HIS niece and nephew, they are also YOUR niece and nephew.  

  • We have a joint account so the presents we buy are from both of us and both of our names go on them.  My brother asked me to chip in for an expensive present this yr for my mom, on the tag I did put 'from brother, me and DH'....

  • money for the presents come out of our joint account, but he does shopping for his family and I do the shopping for mine. Yes they are my family by marriage but he has known them way longer than I have! If that means his mom gets a box of chocolates from the pharmacy because that's all that was open, oh well. (just throwing out an example . . . he does do shopping last minute but it's not THAT bad.)  I feel like just because I'm the wife why should I have to be stuck with all the shopping? All presents have both of our names on them. On my side we always go in on something for our parents and everyone's name is on it (children plus their spouses).
  • I do all the shopping for everyone and sign all of our names to the tags.  DH is a scrooge and if it was up to him, all anyone would get is a lecture about the commercialism of the holiday.

    And ditto PP, if you're married, the nieces and nephews are both of yours, they don't belong to one or the other.  That's just odd.  My SIL's children call me Aunt because that's what I am. I'm married to their Uncle after all.

    It's strange that your DH doesn't put your name on the gift to his parents.  Did you ask him why?

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  • Our finances are separate. For the holidays I buy gifts for everyone on my side of the family and put DH's name on everything with mine, and he buys gifts for his side of the family and puts my name on them with his. If it's something very personal I will leave his name off but most gifts are from both of us, no matter who bought what.
  • I know this year, our first Christmas as a married couple, I confronted my husband about why he didn't buy gifts for his grandfather and a few other relatives.  He comes from a large family (6 siblings) and many aunts and uncles as well.  He explained that it would be extremely costly to exchange with everyone so it has always been assumed that gifts will be exchanged with siblings and parents.  To me it was weird since I only had one brother and always bought gifts for grandparents, godparents, and very close friends.  I wouldn't worry about names...it is probably assumed if his name is on it that he represents your 'household' for the contribution and its the way they've always done it.  
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