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Fair gift-giving for new siblings?

I am wondering how you all feel about fairness is gift giving when it comes to sibling in-laws.  We are much closer to one of my husband's sisters than to the other one.  Is it okay to get different "levels" of presents for his sisters?  Thoughts?  THANK YOU!
Ali

Re: Fair gift-giving for new siblings?

  • I think overall they should be at about the same level. How would you feel if your in-laws gave your sibling a digital camera and you a $25 Visa gift card?
  • It kind of boils down to what kind of gifts are you talking about?  As the PP said, if you give one a clearly expensive gift and the other a Starbucks GC....  eh, it could be seen as rude.

    But if you give one a nice cashmere sweater from Nordstroms and the other a purse from Target - I can't imagine they are going to sit there and compare labels, quality, etc. 

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  • My MIL doesn't care for me, we're friendly but not close at all. She used to get my DH and I the same level of gifts. Now she's scaled my gift right down to a $20 visa gift card (Not even $25 ;-).

    It's pretty obvious that her gift giving reflects how she feels about me. It doesn't "hurt" me, but I notice and have my own private thoughts about it.

    Will you see them all on the dame day at the same time? If yes then yeah it's pretty crappy to give obviously different value gifts.

    If they're unlikely to see or know about each other's gifts then maybe it's different, but generally I spend pretty much the same amount on all people except for DH and my kids.

     

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  • image EastCoastBride:

    It kind of boils down to what kind of gifts are you talking about?  As the PP said, if you give one a clearly expensive gift and the other a Starbucks GC....  eh, it could be seen as rude.

    But if you give one a nice cashmere sweater from Nordstroms and the other a purse from Target - I can't imagine they are going to sit there and compare labels, quality, etc. 

    This. I mean I get it. Why spend a bunch on someone you are not close with? But at the same time do your best to make it at least look like it was around the same price range. 

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  • I set a budget for each person (siblings I spent between 25-50, nephews I spend 10-20 since they are still really young, parents spend 50-100...) and then stick to it....that some times means I spend closer to 50 on my sister who I am a lot closer to because I see something thats just so perfect for her, and might get my brother a gc for $25, The amounts are still close enough that no one is offended, but the range gives room to spend a little bit more if you find something thats perfect for someone (Alternatively theres years where I spend the exact same because theres nothing that jumps out at me for my sister...or I spend more on my brother because he actually specifically said he wanted something and it was closer to the 50).

  • I spend around the same amount on each of my siblings. It seems rude for them to be opening their gifts in front of one another and one gift is clearly more expensive than the others. Just because I am closer to one sibling than the other, I love them all the same.
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  • Levels?

    nope.

    Get them both a gift card, or something in the same price range. What do they like to do? Base the gift on that.
  • For most people in my generation I spend on them what they spend on me. (unless they are under 25). For example, if cousin A never gets anyone anything, I am only going to give a token present. However, if cousin B buys me a 25 dollar item I am going to try to spend the same amount of money. (My husbands an only child so cousins are the closest thing we have). 
  • We've decided to draw names with my family this year, that way we only need to buy a present for one adult.  My nieces of course will get presents from everyone. DH family does an ornament exchange, so there are no gifts purchased for his family. 

  • We only give to siblings' kids.  My sister is the only adult sibling who gets a gift.  I give to my sister because she always gives to my stepsons.  She doesn't have any children but I feel like she should still have something to open.

    As for the nieces and nephews, I spend the most on DH's oldest god daughter and everyone gets gift based on her gift.  Example: GD's gift is $50, I will spend $40-$45 on the others.  All the others are consistent price. 

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