Me and my SO live 9hrs away from my inlaws, we make trips to see them at least 3 times a year. As you can imagine the amount of money we spend between gas, food, etc has begun to really add up and i am starting to resent them for this. I understand that my SO needs to see his family, i love them and i enjoy seeing them as well but it's a two way street and we're the only ones that ever make the effort. We have been living here for 2 1/2 years now and they have yet to visit..
On top of that whenever we do visit we're stuck sleeping on an air matress in the living room. This really irks me because i dont see the big deal in both of his brothers sharing one room for a couple of days so we can have the other. I feel like that's common courtesy. I would never do that to a guest of mine, much less my inlaws. Besides being uncomfortable we aren't able to go to sleep until the living room is cleared out and then we're awoken at 4 when his step dad goes to work and 7 when his nephew is up and running around.
Sleeping arrangements are horrible and daily plans are worse. His family never wants to do anything. We offer to pay so money isn't an issue, they just refuse to leave the house and lets face it.. NO ONE drives 9 hours to just stay home all day. Maybe if we did something, watched movies, played games, talk, it wouldn't be as bad but they all go to their separate rooms and do their own things which i find incredibly rude.
Point blank visiting my in laws is practically hell. It causes a strain in my relationship and i'm dreading the holidays coming up. This thanksgiving we will be spending it here, it seems my SO is starting to get frustrated too which makes me a little happy that it's not just me seeing this but at the same time i just wish there were a way we could fix this. i don't want him resenting his family either. Does anyone have any advice on what we could do?