Trouble in Paradise
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I can't confide in him

I'm beginning to feel like I can't confide in my husband at all. Every time I do, he turns around and talks to the person I'm venting about and tells them literally everything I said. I've already talked to him about this many times before and he just keeps doing it. It'd be one thing if he used his own words but he tells them exactly what I said. I feel like he's just tattling on me all the time.

What do I do?

Re: I can't confide in him

  • stop confiding in him..
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Has he been like this the whole time you have known him?
    "How long till my soul gets it right? Can any human being ever reach the highest light? Except for Galileo, god rest his soul, king of night vision, king of insight." ~ Indigo Girls Anniversary
    When you've been married this long, you need a ticker to remind you.

    Baby Boy M - 08/01/2013
  • image panda0889:

    I'm beginning to feel like I can't confide in my husband at all. Every time I do, he turns around and talks to the person I'm venting about and tells them literally everything I said. I've already talked to him about this many times before and he just keeps doing it. It'd be one thing if he used his own words but he tells them exactly what I said. I feel like he's just tattling on me all the time.

    What do I do?



    How old is this guy? he sounds like he's about 7 years old! He tells tales out of school, really?

    You need to sit your H down and tell him to stop the crap immediately. And if he doesn't?

    RETHINK him.

    If he can't keep his mouth zipped about things you say, you can bet that he's repeating every single glitch and problem in your relationship to just about anybody who wants to give a listen.

    This is not mature and it almost borders on abnormal and not to mention that it's inconsiderate and disregarding your feelings.You should be positively livid.

    I'd point blank tell him that this type of behavior can cost him his marriage if he doesn't stop it immediately.

    This can't be new behavior. Chances are he has always been like this and now for some reason you have "just noticed."

    Counseling, stat: nip this in the  bud and do it NOW.

  • That's really shiitty of him. Have you ever asked him why he does this? Is he trying to help in some misguided way or does he just like drama? Have you tried telling him how you feel about it and how it hurts your feelings?

    if you have and he still does it, then you have a big big problem, because he is crazy inconsiderate. I would suggest counseling. 

  • It's never been this situation but at times, when H and I first got engaged, that he would confide in other people before confiding in me and it bothered me.  I realize this is almost the opposite situation but I have a point.

     It took a heart to heart with him to explain it's US now, WE are a TEAM and the main support in each others lives.  That's not saying he has to run everything by me, but it got through to him that we are supposed to be each others biggest "fan" (if you will) and truly support each other, despite if we're wrong or right.  A spouse/SO is your backbone in times of weakness, they are the ones who hold you up when you can't hold yourself up, they love you no matter what, and they don't air your dirty laundry without your approval.

     

    Where there is love, there is life.-Ghandi
  • You know damn well you woudn't bother with a friend who behaved this way ever again.  I'm not convinced that you shouldn't apply the same principle here.
    image
  • image ReturnOfKuus:
    You know damn well you woudn't bother with a friend who behaved this way ever again.  I'm not convinced that you shouldn't apply the same principle here.

    I agree.  How can you be married to someone who is so careless with your personal information and feelings?

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