Relationships
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BF has a son...teenager...

i was a single mom...for 10 years before I met and married my exhusband. Well, I am divorced now. My son is 21 years old and out on his own.

I have met and started dating a few months ago a wonderful man that is a single father. He is trying to work, take care of his son, and date me at the sametime. I have tried to reassure him that "I understand that I am dating a care package" Him and his son. That I would never intentionally hurt either one of them. I completely understand his position. Yet, the son was hurt deeply by his mother and step mother. So, my BF is creating a barrier between his son and I. Not allowing us to get to know each other.

For example: we were at a backyard BBQ. J, got his dad an alcoholic bevarage. He got me a soft drink. (I don't drink alcohol, because of health reasons.) BF drank it, and told me that he didn't really want it. But drank it anyway. So,when J came back again. He brought another one. I told him that his dad didn't want it. J became upset. Because he thought I was telling him that his dad couldn't drink.

  1. because wife number 1. J's mom ...she could drink...but J's dad couldn't. She was controlling.
  2. wife #2. Was an alcoholic!

So, BF tells me a few days later...that J was upset about it. That I had no idea, that I was just relaying to J, what BF had said to me!

When the three of us are in the car together...J says "dad...blah blah...."  BF gets mad...and says "J, you don't have to say Dad,....there is only 3 of us in the car!" 

 

Second mishap! BF and calls me while I am in town...friday night....we had been trying to see this one movie..but could never get to the movies on time. So, he texts me...to tell me that we are able to goto the movies and have dinner. I text back "j too?" he said yes, why is that a problem?....No, I just wanted to know what I was going to expect! I had actually baked some cookies for J. I wanted to give them to him! But BF started to make a deal about it!

I would like some advice on how to break these barriers! I respect the relationship that they have together! I have told him that if they need father son time..to let me know! I will understand as well! J, does get moody...He is afterall 14~ He has been moved to a new town..started a new school...dad gets a new job, new girlfriend...that is alot to take in! Plus his sister is thousands of miles away living with his mother! His mother had a baby that is 2 years old that he has ever met! When J and I are alone...we are fine! we have plenty to say to each other! the three of us have a good time as well! J is a very smart kid...taking acelerated classes in school! he is a freshman...taking classes with juniors and seniors! he isn't thinking high school...he is worried about after high school! My son...at that age...could think

Re: BF has a son...teenager...

  • I'd just pick a guy with less drama.
    image
  • I would talk with your BF about this. Tell him how you feel about it. It's always a tough time integrating families together. Maybe have a pow wow with both your BF and his son (if it's that serious and far along).

     

    Good luck!

    <p>[IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/ega6ic.jpg[/IMG]
    <p>
    <p>
    BFP#1: 08/30/12 EDD 04/30/12 m/c 09/04/12 6wks
    <p>BFP#2: 01/27/13 EDD 10/06/13 no baby/just sac on u/s 02/25/13 chemical abortion 03/02/13 9wks
  • Just a word of advise, this is not going to get better.  the last thing that boy's dad needs right now is a girlfriend.  watch for signs of selfish!!! because he is!!!
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