So me and my husband have started talking about having a baby, probably for about six months now. He smokes, I don't. For a long time i was kind of on the fence about children but i know he really wants one, and after more thought i came around. I believe i have been very clear on the fact that i would like to get pregnant sometime in the near future, we originally wanted to buy a house first but we both just got new jobs and didnt qualify for a loan and we currenlty live next door to my parents which would be really convient for babysitting. but i told him that there were things that i thought should happen before i do. first was that he quit smoking, and then smaller things like just going for our annuals check ups, finding a doctor, and stuff like that.
now he has been telling me that he would quit since before we got married. qbout 6 weeks ago i enrolled in some college classes (i've working on my degree for a long time, and new job will pay for my classes now.) about 2 weeks ago H decides to quit, which i am thrilled about. hes not even done with withdrawal symptoms, and apparently he was expecting me to instantly stop my pill and try to get pregnant. i told him to give me 4 months to get through this symester, and he says that i am a liar and im going back on my promises, and that i am making excuses - he also listed doctor as an excuse!!
I told him i just dont want to be stressed more then i need to be when i get pregnant, i also work and commute everyday and now school. and that before we tried we shouild at least sit down and have a serious conversation about our plans.
he says he quit for nothing, which makes me feel like nothing, and i feel like a prize for a job well done, that is not the way i pictured myself deciding to get pregnant. i feel like he is challenging me, he kept syaing that if i supported him in quiting or really wanted a baby that i should "prove it".
i just think we should make a plan and be rational and realistic about the best time, i did not expect him to think he wasted his time and effort.
and now we have been fighting and i was not very nice, but i thought we left it on at least speaking terms last night, but he called in sick to work, and now wont answer my calls or texts.