Sex & Romance
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

my sex drive is more active than he is

it seems like now and days he doesn't want me as much. i know that he works but so do i. anyways, i feel like i bother him with my desires. he says i'm not but i feel like i am. he's the only guy i've ever been with. so, i have no experience besides what i've done with him and before i was pregnant. i was good..i mean i was ok not terrible. but with the pregnancy and the restricted mobility, i feel even less able to do things than i was before and it makes me feel like i can't satisfy him or i'm even more inadequate than i was before. anyways, between him not wanting sex as much as me and the embarrassment and frustration that i can't perform like i'm used to. sex is just a bit of a saddening occurrence now and days.

Re: my sex drive is more active than he is

  • If you are pregnant, this is hormonal. It's probably also a self confidence thing.

    What is important here: you and he stick together as a couple and work on this together as a team.

    Mayve you're not as mobile since you're pregnant, but what about doing thing like masturbating and putting on a show for him?  Or doing the same for him?

    There is also the option of writing him sexy short stories -- get a copy of Penthouse; have a look at the Penthouse Letters -- and then you make a go of it.:)

    Write them down in a book or type them up and let him read them.:) This is also a great way to indulge your fantasies.:)

    There is also phone sex and sexy texts.:)

    Necessity is the mother of invention....or so to speak; no pun intended.:)  Have fun.:)

  • This past year I have noticed my husband's sex drive go down also. For him it was stress and anxiety. When he is either one of those, he wants nothing more than a beer and some video games. I, literally, have to strut around naked to get his attention. Even once I've gotten him into the bedroom, I need to perform a little extra "duty" to get him wanting more. We have talked about it on several occasions and most of the time we are able to work through it. Though, I have been denied thoroughly many, many times, lol. I love him and know he is going through a lot so I give him the time he needs. Hope this helps! 

    <p>[IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/ega6ic.jpg[/IMG]
    <p>
    <p>
    BFP#1: 08/30/12 EDD 04/30/12 m/c 09/04/12 6wks
    <p>BFP#2: 01/27/13 EDD 10/06/13 no baby/just sac on u/s 02/25/13 chemical abortion 03/02/13 9wks
  • @ TarponMonoxide: it's funny that you mention oral, cause i have been doing that lately. it's been working a bit. but it's kind of disheartening when you try to do that and one night he's so tired he falls asleep or doesn't get aroused. also, that's another thing that hurts sometimes cause i don't know how to do that..the masturbation i mean. i can do him but not myself, it just doesn't do anything for me. which is why i feel like i bother him cause i can't take care of myself. it is a self esteem thing, i'm sure. sexually i just really don't feel like i'm good enough. especially when he gets short patient with me sometimes.

    but the story idea. i shall try. thank you. :)

  • image bewilderingstar:

    This past year I have noticed my husband's sex drive go down also. For him it was stress and anxiety. When he is either one of those, he wants nothing more than a beer and some video games. I, literally, have to strut around naked to get his attention. Even once I've gotten him into the bedroom, I need to perform a little extra "duty" to get him wanting more. We have talked about it on several occasions and most of the time we are able to work through it. Though, I have been denied thoroughly many, many times, lol. I love him and know he is going through a lot so I give him the time he needs. Hope this helps! 

    thanks. yeah it helps, i know what you mean by walking around naked. i think i have esteem issues because it is wildly hurtful when i get ignored by him and i'm trying so hard and he just doesn't seem to be interested. i give him his space but i then feel abandoned and...i don't know. lol it's just disheartening, that's all. makes e not want to try to have sex because of the fear of rejection. i mean, i'm excited about my baby coming but..well anyways. thanks. :)

  • image bearsbunny1:

    it's funny that you mention oral, cause i have been doing that lately. it's been working a bit. but it's kind of disheartening when you try to do that and one night he's so tired he falls asleep or doesn't get aroused. also, that's another thing that hurts sometimes cause i don't know how to do that..the masturbation i mean. i can do him but not myself, it just doesn't do anything for me. which is why i feel like i bother him cause i can't take care of myself. it is a self esteem thing, i'm sure. sexually i just really don't feel like i'm good enough. especially when he gets short patient with me sometimes.

    but the story idea. i shall try. thank you. :)



    Doesn't do anything for you?

    YOu're missing a world of seven wonders!;)

    Here's an assignment for you: chek out the book Sex for One by Betty Dobson. They call her the Mother of Masturbation.

    You're probably shy about trying or you didn't give yourself enough time to see what touches turn you on and what makes you orgasm.  Take some time by yourself to discover your body and what touches turn you on genitally.

    This is a sure fire thing to get an orgasm.  I'm willing to bet you've never had one.

    Then show him. This is bound to shake things up in your sex life.:)

    Has he at least performed oral on you? if he hasn't he needs to start and again, this is anothr sure fire way to get yourself to orgasm.
  • image TarponMonoxide:
    image bearsbunny1:

    it's funny that you mention oral, cause i have been doing that lately. it's been working a bit. but it's kind of disheartening when you try to do that and one night he's so tired he falls asleep or doesn't get aroused. also, that's another thing that hurts sometimes cause i don't know how to do that..the masturbation i mean. i can do him but not myself, it just doesn't do anything for me. which is why i feel like i bother him cause i can't take care of myself. it is a self esteem thing, i'm sure. sexually i just really don't feel like i'm good enough. especially when he gets short patient with me sometimes.

    but the story idea. i shall try. thank you. :)



    Doesn't do anything for you?

    YOu're missing a world of seven wonders!;)

    Here's an assignment for you: chek out the book Sex for One by Betty Dobson. They call her the Mother of Masturbation.

    You're probably shy about trying or you didn't give yourself enough time to see what touches turn you on and what makes you orgasm.  Take some time by yourself to discover your body and what touches turn you on genitally.

    This is a sure fire thing to get an orgasm.  I'm willing to bet you've never had one.

    Then show him. This is bound to shake things up in your sex life.:)

    Has he at least performed oral on you? if he hasn't he needs to start and again, this is anothr sure fire way to get yourself to orgasm.

    he's done oral on me a plenty. now and days, it takes me a while to get there so he gets frustrated and stops, then he goes to fingering me and that's when he usually falls asleep. i've had orgasms, i've had plenty but now and days it seems to take extra effort to get them. i will try to the book though cause i would like to not bother him with my urges and take care of them myself. i love him dearly i really do but sex now and days makes me want to cry cause it hardly goes right and i'm getting tired of crying in front of him.

  • image bearsbunny1:
    image TarponMonoxide:
    image bearsbunny1:

    it's funny that you mention oral, cause i have been doing that lately. it's been working a bit. but it's kind of disheartening when you try to do that and one night he's so tired he falls asleep or doesn't get aroused. also, that's another thing that hurts sometimes cause i don't know how to do that..the masturbation i mean. i can do him but not myself, it just doesn't do anything for me. which is why i feel like i bother him cause i can't take care of myself. it is a self esteem thing, i'm sure. sexually i just really don't feel like i'm good enough. especially when he gets short patient with me sometimes.

    but the story idea. i shall try. thank you. :)



    Doesn't do anything for you?

    YOu're missing a world of seven wonders!;)

    Here's an assignment for you: chek out the book Sex for One by Betty Dobson. They call her the Mother of Masturbation.

    You're probably shy about trying or you didn't give yourself enough time to see what touches turn you on and what makes you orgasm.  Take some time by yourself to discover your body and what touches turn you on genitally.

    This is a sure fire thing to get an orgasm.  I'm willing to bet you've never had one.

    Then show him. This is bound to shake things up in your sex life.:)

    Has he at least performed oral on you? if he hasn't he needs to start and again, this is anothr sure fire way to get yourself to orgasm.

    he's done oral on me a plenty. now and days, it takes me a while to get there so he gets frustrated and stops, then he goes to fingering me and that's when he usually falls asleep. i've had orgasms, i've had plenty but now and days it seems to take extra effort to get them. i will try to the book though cause i would like to not bother him with my urges and take care of them myself. i love him dearly i really do but sex now and days makes me want to cry cause it hardly goes right and i'm getting tired of crying in front of him.



    Bear in mind this is temporary due to pregnancy and like I said, this too shall pass.

    What's important here is communication and keeping an open line betweeen you and him. Sorry for your troubles.

    Here is another thought i just had; pregnancy can change the entire "tune" of your body -- what made you orgasm before may not work at all -- or conversely, what didn't work before may set you off like a rocket.;) REmember, pregnancy hormones are at play here.
  • very true. i shall keep that in mind since there are things that haven't been tried. uhm...they shall be now though. lol thanks for the advice! :D

    and things are looking up at least lately anyways. lol  spontaneity is crawling back which is nice. :)

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards