Last night at 10:30 my husband received a telephone call from his 11 year old son stating that his mom was taking everyone to the river to go tubing and invited us to come. This is something they had all done together before, and they already owned all the equipment: life jackets, kayaks, inner tubes and such.
My husband and I were just married on July 14th and we did not have a honeymoon because I moved to his home state of Arkansas from Florida and we are still trying to get settled and money is tight. Both of us are teachers and off for the summer and I moved out here in April, but my new job doesn?t start for another week, so I have been living off the proceeds from the sale of my house.
Things had been pretty stressful moving in together and getting ready for a wedding the past few months, and I was looking forward to a little alone time with my new husband. We have his children every Wednesday and Thursday and every other weekend. It was our weekend with them last week so we had them quite a bit since they don?t attend any type of summer camp during the summer months. Last week my husband took his son to the gun range on one of the days we are normally by ourselves and the following day he made arrangements for the boy to have a music lesson on one of our ?alone time days.? I made mention to my husband that I wanted to have a little bit more alone time with him since we didn?t have a honeymoon and we really hadn?t had a chance to enjoy each other?s company with all the wedding planning. He told me we would have five days together without kids and we will have plenty of alone time.
Being from Florida, and New Jersey prior to that, I have always lived on the east coast and frequented the beach. I knew I was giving all that up for this man, but I felt it would all be worth it. I have been repeatedly asking my husband to take me to a place where there is water or a waterfall, since he told me there are numerous of both here in Arkansas, and I really miss having a place where I can go and relax or have fun. I asked him on Friday if we could go to a place called Hot Springs this weekend. I have looked up places and shown him many places I would like to visit. I know he has frequented these places and knows where they are. I can go by myself; it isn?t that I need a tour guide. It is just that I am married now and would like to learn about and see the state I now live in with my new husband.
So, after the phone call from my stepson, my husband is excited and wants to go to the river with his kids, and this includes his ex and her daughter from her first marriage and her daughter?s husband, her stepson from her current marriage and his girlfriend, and her parents. I was pretty miffed at the fact it is our weekend together, part of the five days he said we would have alone, and now he wants us to spend one of those days with his kids and former wife. I really didn?t want to go, but he kept telling me it would be fun and I would have a good time and it would be an inexpensive way to have a nice time.
This morning we headed out to Wal-Mart to buy me a life jacket and an inner tube. I had asked him about his other kayak and he told me he bought that for his son, and during the rough parts of the river he likes to put his daughter in his kayak, so I had to get an inner tube, but he would tie it to his kayak so we could stay together and hold hands, like his ex wife and her husband do, except they both have inner tubes. Well, we get to Wal-Mart and the only life jackets they have left are 2XL and 3XL. I also needed a hat to protect myself from the sun because we would be floating for three hours, and water shoes because the area where we would get out and have lunch is really rocky, and flip flops might fall off while going down the river. I just gave up at this point when all there was, was a bright orange boxy life preserver which my husband said would do for now until we could buy one more comfortable. He stated that I didn?t need to wear it the entire time, only if there was an emergency and I were to fall out. I said, ?What am I supposed to do, wait for an emergency, AND THEN put my life jacket on. I told him to just take me home, that I wouldn?t be upset and to just go and have a good time.
Well, of course I am upset or I wouldn?t be here pouring my heart out, but I have no idea what to do now. I don?t know what to say to him when he comes home and I don?t know how to even act around him. I?m hurt because he told me the reason we don?t do things is because I don?t wake up with him at 6:30 in the morning to do things before it gets hot and that I don?t suggest things. I have been doing nothing but suggest things. As far as getting up at 6:30 in the morning goes, I was teaching in an all male juvenile offender?s facility for the past four years, and we worked year-round; the boys didn?t have a summer break, and I had to be in the classroom at 7:15. Prior to that, I had put myself through college while raising my daughter after my divorce. I was happy to have the break after selling my house, leaving my home of 15 years, quitting my job, and leaving my daughter behind, because at the last minute she decided to remain in Florida. So it?s my fault that we haven?t done anything besides get married and get our home in order since I?ve been here? I?m not a morning person, so getting up at 6:30 AM isn?t something I naturally do. I could have if we were to have planned something though. I?m not lazy, I just don?t naturally get up until 8:30/9:00.
I am going to wrap it up because I have been ranting for far too long. If you hung in there and read this in its entirety, I would greatly appreciate some advice or thoughts; any type of input would be greatly beneficial.