As I said before, I have spent 6/7 days next to H at the hospital. Not eating. Not doing my hair. Not working. Just talking to doctors, calling his mother, fluffing his pillows and watching "Family Feud" with him. It's actually been pretty nice. I thought we were really getting somewhere. I had gotten very little sleep and I'm a basketcase, but it didn't matter as long as he wanted me near.
Today when I came to visit with his family, he started asking me all these cold questions about his bank account, the condition of the car and if the house is clean. I didn't like it. I didn't want to make a scene so I made a quip about how I could be working right now. He snapped right back about my "work sh*t" being everywhere (I'm a 1st grade teacher and a disorganized one at that, so he's not wrong). I figured I'd show him by getting all of it out of the way.
2 hours, 2 boxes and one huge headache later, I stopped. I started to get mad. Really mad. I sent him a text explaining that while I love him dearly and wish him the very best for his surgery in the morning, guess what? The "work sh*t" will be staying with us a little longer since I've spent most of my waking hours worrying about him or going to see him or taking someone else to see him. And on that note how dare he give me the damn Spanish Inquisition in front of his family like that?! Even when I mentioned making sure he's okay before I head back to work, he was still huffing about getting the 2nd car fixed so I can stop driving our new car everywhere (what the hell are cars for?!). Even his aunt was saying "mijo, I don't think you understand what she's talking about".
He responded that he never wanted me to spend that much time at the hospital "wasting all that gas". He brought up the complaints about not getting work done. I told him the only reason I made such comments was because if he was going to talk to me all crazy, I might as well go get some work done. I told him I didn't feel appreciated, to which he responded he already mentioned "doing something nice for me" once he's better. I told him the nicest thing he can do for me is talk to me like an equal. He didn't know what to do with that one.
Bottom line: he wants me to "go take care of my sh*t". I quote the swear because it changes "oh sweetie, go take some time for yourself" to "get outta my face". I've had it.
I keep trying to show love and affection and dote on him like a loving wife and the whole thing gets spat on.
I'm going away for awhile. His mother can take care of him.