Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Can this wedding be over already?!

So this isn't really about a family member, but a friend who's wedding I am in.  My friend is getting married in a few months and I agreed to be in her wedding.  We aren't that close but we do talk every few weeks to catch up since we are both busy.  Her wedding is my 4th wedding I've been in in the last year (including mine).  I am so over weddings and am ready to be done with this one.   When I said that we talk every few weeks to catch up, it's only to catch up on her wedding.  She has discussed every detail and has asked me to help choose cake flavor, dress style, even their first dance song choice.  I don't mind being a good friend and chatting but it has been constant.  I feel bad complaining but I went through this just over a year ago with my wedding, was my cousins MOH in her wedding, was in my bf wedding, and am just so over the planning. My friend comes to me for advice and wedding help because she and her sister (her MOH) are always at each others throats.  So my friend keeps calling/texting me periodically about her shower to make sure it's been planned, who all she wants there, what she wants for a Bachelorette Party, and how much she can't stand her sister.  I'm sorry that she and her sister fight but I'm not her MOH and have no desire to help her in all of these details.  I want to be a good friend but it's just getting to the point where I'm all "wedding'd out" at this point and am just ready for some relaxation, money savings (these weddings are expensive), and just time to focus on my life, job, and saving for a house.  I love my friend and am truly happy for her and her wedding.  I know some of my annoyance may come at just being tired of being in weddings in general, but everytime she calls or texts me I know it's just going to be to tell me about another wedding detail or ask me advice on her issues.
Anniversary

Re: Can this wedding be over already?!

  • srgwsrgw member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    If you don't want to talk about wedding stuff with her don't answer the phone/reply to emails unless they're about necessary information you need to know. I'm of the opinion that people leave voicemails when it's really important. Walla.
  • she's asking for some of your time to discuss her wedding, agreed, a bit more then you expected...but this is what friends do for each other...it's not her fault, nor bad timing that her wedding is falling at the end of what has been an exhausting line of weddings for you.

    If you have other obligations (like if she calls and you are truly busy) then tell her, this isn't a good time for me, can we talk later...but if you have can spare the time, try and stick this out.
  • My advice is the same as it is when somebody says the ILs drop over/call unannounced:

    Do not get the phone if you are not expecting her phone call.

    Let her leave a message on your VM or send you an email. She'll get the idea soon enough what the deal is.

    You know that most of this is silliness inasmuch as you've been there and you know what the deal is with ladies who are getting married -- and no, you need not ask others for their opinion about every single detail or thing that you can think of.
  • you can always answer 'whatever you want' or something like that. or 'i have no idea' or 'no opinion'. you dont have to answer her questions or help her with anything BUT imo you're being kind of a crappy friend. it's her wedding. she's excited. just because she's at the end of a long line of them doesn't mean that you should put that on her. be excited for her! she thinks enough of you to ask her to be in your wedding, you should think enough of her to talk every few weeks adn help her out. imo it's an honor to be asked your opinion on things-she values your thoughts. jmho.

    Friday, December 28 2012. The day I had emergency appendix surgery in Mexico and quit smoking. Proof that everything has a good side!! DH and I are happily child-free!! No due date or toddler tickers here!! my read shelf:
    Alison's book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf) 
  • My feeling is that this is much more about your being tired of weddings in general than it is about your friend calling or texting too much about it- since you mention you guys call every few weeks, that doesn't seem like "constant" contact about her wedding. That seems like the time you do spend together- every few weeks- is primarily about her upcoming wedding right now, the same way conversation was probably primarily about your wedding last year or might be primarily about a new house or new baby or new job in the years to come.

    I get what it's like to be sick of being in weddings and talking about them, but it doesn't sound like your friend is being hurtful or unkind, just busy with something you're not interested in anymore.  I think you should rally here.  I don't think anyone was honestly interested in hearing about my unfruitful job search, and I had several friends go back to school after I graduated and was "over" worrying about papers and exams, but we rally for each other and ask and talk about the big things going on in our lives because we care.  

  • I really think that this is part of friendship and part of being in someone's wedding.  I also think you are being a little selfish; I doubt you would feel "wedding'd out" if it was YOUR wedding that was the 4th.

    You say she only contacts you every frew weeks.  Really that is not so bad!  You can always tell her to remember that the wedding reception is only about ONE DAY, but the marriage is about a lifetime.  What is she doing to prepare for the rest of her life....after the wedding?

    You can also decline to talk about her sister.  Just tell her her sister is not going to change, and you don't want to hear about family squabbles.

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards