I'm having roommate issues and need advice!
I moved to Columbus, OH with my boyfriend for grad school about a year ago. A few months ago, he took a job in Cincinnati so he moved to an apartment down there and I started looking for a roommate to share expenses. My boyfriend and I have been living together for several years, so I wasn't super thrilled about having a roommate again, but I couldn't afford the apartment on my own and didn't want to burden my boyfriend with having to pay for two places. I didn't know many people here so I had to go the random craigslist route. I found a girl who was 28, already had her bachelor's and master's and was coming to a school here for a bachelor's in marketing. She's from China but had been living in Ireland for 10 years. She seemed pretty cool at first, we cooked a lot together and she was super clean, would even do dishes I left in the sink, and would randomly make me food. I thought it was going to be a really good experience and that I would get to learn a lot about her culture and vice versa. After about a month, she started staying in her room constantly and would only come out to eat and pee. I thought this was sort of weird but thought maybe she was just homesick and at least I was able to have my own space.
She's getting married in China in a month. When she first moved in, I offered her a glass of wine one night and she told me she didn't drink. Last week I was down at my boyfriend's. We drove back up to Columbus and when we pulled up, there was a random car in my parking spot. A guy I've never seen came out of the house and to the car, and a few minutes later my roommate came out and said she was headed to a party at her teacher's house. We went inside and there were empty wine bottles in the recycling, an open bottle in the fridge, two wine glasses and two coffee mugs in the sink. Her computer was in the living room along with a candle and some snacks. She NEVER hangs out in the living room at all, so it seems shady that she locks herself in her room while I'm there but makes herself at home when I'm not. It's like why can't you chill in the living room while I'm here? There was also a note on the chalkboard that said "have a nice day" with a little drawing. I was really curious who this note would be for since I hadn't been home and all I told her when I left was that I was leaving for a bit, she had no idea when I was coming back so it doesn't seem like she would just write me a random note after being gone for days and no idea when I was coming back.
When I went to the bathroom, there were condoms in the trash. There was also a suspicious white stain on the couch. Obviously she's been banging this guy. The note on the board makes me worry that she had him there while she was gone. She's only known him for a couple months tops, because she's only been in the country that long, so who knows who this guy is. Her personal life is obviously none of my business, but the whole situation makes me feel very uncomfortable. She's clearly not a trustworthy or honest person if she's getting married in a month and *** some dude she just met. The fact that she was acting all shady and staying in her room and now this just makes me feel really bad about the situation.
We left for a 4th of July party while she was gone. We got home at about 3:30am and the same car was again in my parking spot. We come inside and the TV is on but they're sitting in the dining room and she is all nervous and offers us some rice that's clearly been sitting on the table for a long time, saying her friend just brought it to her. At 3:30am? The stain had been cleaned off the couch and she stuffed a bunch of toilet paper over the condoms in the trash to cover them up. I'm not sure what to do. I don't feel comfortable living with someone who has guys over she barely knows when she's about to get married and possibly leaves them in the house alone, lies, and just in general is a shady person.
Being a cheating whore isn't necessarily reason to kick her out, and both of our names are on the lease. But I'm not sure if I'm over reacting and should just let it go or talk to her and tell her that I'm really not comfortable and that it would be best if she didn't live there anymore. Technically I can't just kick her out, but if I put pressure on her to leave I think she would. Help please!!