Family Matters
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Husband's Birthady Present

Our tradition with my husband's family is that we dont' buy gifts for every holiday or birthday.  Instead every few years, we get together to splurge on a gift that someone really wants but really cant afford on their own or wouldn't buy for themselves (ie. sporting event tickets for all of us to go see a game).  This year, my MIL asked me what her son wanted for his birthday.  I recommended that we go 50/50 on getting him a home theater system that he's been eyeballing for some time.  She ordered the gift with the premise that I was to give her a check when I saw her next.  The next time I saw her (this past Sunday), I forgot to bring my checkbook and told her I would write her a check at my husband's birthday dinner (let's be clear that I have already set aside the money for this gift, and that I'm not trying to get out of pitching in my half).  Her response was not to worry about it, that it's already been paid for and I don't owe her anything... If I try to give her a check, I know she'll refuse or she'll take the check but then never cash it... do I not do anything or use the money I've saved to buy another gift for my husband who's birthday is two days away?  Opinions? 

Re: Husband's Birthady Present

  • I would at least try to give her the $$ before I buy anything else!  As much as your positive she won't take it, you just never know.  :)

     Then honest- I think I'd talk to DH about it after the fact.  Tell him what happened and see what he thinks about the $$. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • I would tell your MIL that unless she accepts your money, you're never going to share your gift ideas with her again.  Say it in a sweet, teasing voice, but mean it. And hand her cash.

    Seriously, this is a little about control on her part, and if she pulls this, then the next time she asks for an idea, tell her to just get him a sweater. 

    I stopped giving my family gift ideas for different reasons - they don't get what my kids really want, and won't tell me "because they want it to be a surprise."  So my kids don't have their top pics, which I would have given them.  And I don't mind people getting gifts not on the list - but then why ask if you're not going to get what they want? 

  • Give her the check.

    Expect her to cash it. Put your name on the card. Wish him happy birthday.

    If she doesn't cash the check after a month, say 'thank you' for her generousity. And cancel the check and re-set your budget. 

  • I disagree with some of the above advice...

    the gift is still from you, right, like you'll be included in the "this gift is from us"...

    even if she wants to pay for it all, you did contribute...the idea.

    I would offer the check again, after that I would just keep it. Who's paying for dinner?

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards