9 to 5
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email [email protected]

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

DH worried about looking for another job...

Sorry to be a PW Ladies...  :)

My DH is in a position he obtained after being promoted through an internship he got after his MBA.  He started last June.  The job has some benefits, but in reality, he is being paid too little, being worked too hard, and has no growth opportunities.  On top of that, his boss, the owner of the company, is an alcoholic with loose morals; he expects his managers to accompany him on weekly drinking binges that eventually wind up at strip clubs.  Needless to say, this type of behavior does not coincide with our family values.

DH is stuck now, knowing that managers who remove themselves from this after-work activity too often are let go, under the guise of not making quotas, etc.  So to keep his job, he must engage in this behavior.  He wants to look for another job, but he his very, very concerned that his boss, who knows "everyone", will find out he is applying and fire him for looking elsewhere. 

He is also concerned that it will look terrible to potential employers that he's seeking a new job after having been at his current (and only post-MBA) job less than a year.  He wants to stay with one company for a long time, but he can't very well explain the toxic enviornment he is currently experiencing to a new employer.

DH thinks it's best for me to get a job first, so he can quit and then look.  I maintain that it's easier to find a job if you have a job, and having the income is worth the risk of his boss finding out.  I'll be looking for a job for myself either way.

Anyone have any advice on how to handle this situation?  We feel stuck and want to make the right move, but feel that a few bad steps may be unavoidable.  :(

TIA - Jenna

Dori image
"Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

Miracle DD born 12.2005
TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

Keep it Natural, Baby!

Re: DH worried about looking for another job...

  • In a nutshell his excuses are only excuses and not valid reasons.

    1) his boss may or may NOT find out.

    2) your DH is going to get fired anyway, right?  Either for not going to to strip clubs or for looking for another job

    3) he is overworked and unpaid and has no growth potential so what is he really losing?

    I would just position his job search as he is looking for career growth opportunities.  I would not worry about what his boss thinks.  I would continue to perform at my current job to the best of my abilities and start having "doctors appointments" or what I use, "personal appointments", to make sure I was able to attend every job interview.

    Your DH has nothing to lose (and what a wonderful position to be in).  He cannot control whether his boss fires him for rediculous reasons.  But he CAN control his own efforts to position himself for a better career growth.

    That is my perspective anyway :)  GL!

  • I know his excuses are just based on fear... or, discomfort with the situation.  Good advice - Thanks!

    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • Ditto - the boss may NOT find out. 

    Also, as for length of the job, ONE short job isn't all taht bad.  He can easily explain that it wasn't a good fit.  It happens.  BUT - he should have some work related examples of why it wasn't a good fit, and be ready to answer how does he know that the job he's applying for IS a good fit. And this is also a good reason to NOT quit first.  To still have a job doesn't make him look desperate to take "any" job that comes along. 

    Lastly - how large is his company and does it have an HR department?  If so, perhaps he needs to be talking to them about this.  And he should also be documenting.  If there are set quota's he has to meet- document EVERYTHING related to that. EVERYTHING.  So that if he is supposedly accused of not meeting them, he has proof to the opposite.

    Also - if his boss knows "everyone", then "everyone" knows him and probably what he's like, and.... well, they also may not be surprised when they see resumes from people who used to work for him cross their desk. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • image EastCoastBride:

     

    Also - if his boss knows "everyone", then "everyone" knows him and probably what he's like, and.... well, they also may not be surprised when they see resumes from people who used to work for him cross their desk. 

    LOL - Lots of good points but I LOVE this!  It occurs to me that maybe just those who work for him have to act like he's next to God in his greatness, but those who encounter him but do not rely on him for a paycheck may be more honest in their assessment of him... ROTF!!!  Thanks!

    Dori image
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
    ***P/SAIF Always Welcome***

    Keep it Natural, Baby!
  • I was in a comparable position with my last job.  I took it straight out of law school, was working for a solo practitioner, who was very difficult and practiced law in a way I considered to be unethical.  I started applying 6 months into my job there, easily found another job.  I called everyone I applied to and asked that they not contact my current boss without talking to me first and it was fine.  It turned out that my now employer knew ALL about her and even asked me if her reputation was correct during my interview, which I had to politely dodge.

    From personal experience I don't believe the timing or the boss "knows everyone" should be a problem, but I see why your DH is nervous.

    image "...Saving just one pet won't change the world...but, surely, the world will change for that one pet..."
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards