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Invite question for moms with more than one child

If one child is invited to a classmate's/friend's birthday party, do you think your other child(ren) should be included on the invitation?

I have one DS and am planning a 5th birthday party. Invites went out and I have been contacted by woman who is upset that her 11 year old girl was not included on the invitation. I should clarify that we are acquaintances but not close friends.

I remember going to parties where my little brother was not invited and vice versa.

This is a voicemail from yesterday...have not called her back. Need some advice on this one.

 

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Re: Invite question for moms with more than one child

  • Of course they shouldn't! That is crazy! She is just looking for a babysitter, so she can drop them off and have a few hours to herself!


  • srgwsrgw member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker

    image magsugar13:
    Of course they shouldn't! That is crazy! She is just looking for a babysitter, so she can drop them off and have a few hours to herself!

    This. 

  • "I'm really sorry but this party is going to be strictly designed for five year olds.  I'm not going to have the time to manage it and to keep an eye on your older child.  I'm sure you understand." said with a smile, rinse, repeat.  
  • image JoEsther:
    "I'm really sorry but this party is going to be strictly designed for five year olds.  I'm not going to have the time to manage it and to keep an eye on your older child.  I'm sure you understand." said with a smile, rinse, repeat.  

    I agree. 

    I do not have any kids but I am a twin and I remember when we were younger we didn't get invited to each others friends birthdays and we were the same age. (There was the odd party that we were both invited to though) My mom never thought this was rude.

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  • I can see her being upset if you were close AND the kids were close in age, but an 11 year old at a five year old's party?  No.  She probably wouldn't even have any fun.  I agree with PP-- sounds like Mom is looking for free babysitting.
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  • I don't have two kids, but that mom is dumb. 

    Ive been to plenty of parties where older kids stayed behind bc it was a little kid party. 

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  • Why the hell would an 11year-old want to hang out with a bunch of 5 year-olds?

    Ditto PPs, she's looking for a babysitter. Don't give in to her.  

    image
  • The other mom was way out of line.  You are under no obligation to invite all of your son's friends' siblings to his birthday party.
  • Is this a party where the parents drop the kids off, leave and come back to pick them up? Or a party where the parents stick around and there's sort of an adult side party at the same time as the kid's party? If the former, then definitely no, the 11-year-old should not be invited or expected. If it's the latter, I think expecting parents to stick around but not letting them keep their other kids with them isn't very nice, though I would also expect a parent to find something else to do with the eleven-year-old, just because I think they'd get bored.
  • VORVOR member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 500 Comments Name Dropper
    As hard as it is to keep the invite list down of JUST classmates/friends - to expect siblings to be invited too is crazy. 
  • No. Especially with that age difference. If she had a four year old child, maybe, but even then I'd be inclined to say no.
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  • I'd say no, unless the birthday kiddo is also a friend of the other siblings of the invitee.

    An 11 year old would find a 5 year old's birthday party boring, I am sure.

     

  • image KensingtonBK:
    Is this a party where the parents drop the kids off, leave and come back to pick them up? Or a party where the parents stick around and there's sort of an adult side party at the same time as the kid's party? If the former, then definitely no, the 11-year-old should not be invited or expected. If it's the latter, I think expecting parents to stick around but not letting them keep their other kids with them isn't very nice, though I would also expect a parent to find something else to do with the eleven-year-old, just because I think they'd get bored.

    Parents are welcome to stay if they want to. I plan to have "adult" food and beverage for those who want to hang out. Personally, I have not left DS solo at a party yet because he just turned 5 and many parties he's been invited have been scheduled at facilities ie. Bouncetown and I was nervous about letting him go it alone. I understand if a parent would want to stay if they felt the same. At the same time, if they feel comfortable with a drop off/pick up, that is fine with us, too.

    To further clarify: This party is at our house. Besides DH and myself, there will be both sets of grandparents, DS's Godmother and two good child-free friends of mine to help supervise. Additionally, I have hired two of DS's sitters to serve as mother's helpers...ie. help open juice boxes, clear trash, whatever etc. So I think there is adequate supervision with a combo of 2 teens and 9 adults.  

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  • The woman is not only nuts to think ALL invitations to a birthday party mean both her children are invited, but she is rude to call you about it. The age difference is also odd. I have a feeling you will never be close friends, lol.
  • I'd say no, unless the birthday kiddo is also a friend of the other siblings of the invitee.

    An 11 year old would find a 5 year old's birthday party boring, I am sure.

     

  • In my group of friends, we assume that all kids are invited to stuff. But our kids are mostly 3 and 1, so close enough in age. I can see a point where that won't be true anymore.

    I'd call and either say 1) sure 11 yo can come, but it's really a party for 5 yos or 2) no, 11 yo can't come because of space, or whatever.

    "Hello, babies. Welcome to Earth. It's hot in the summer and cold in the winter. It's round and wet and crowded. At the outside, babies, you've got about a hundred years here. There's only one rule that I know of, babies. God damn it, you've got to be kind." - Kurt Vonnegut
  • No way!!!

    That mom is cray cray. 

  • she was upset?!

    I can understand her calling to ask if the sib could also go but to be upset that sib wasnt automatically invited?  Sounds like she has issues

    image
  • I just had my daughter's 6th bday party. Had a parent ask if she could bring her 7 year old son as well, & I told her that would be fine to bring him. Well, her 7 year old was a bully to the younger kids & I had to really keep an eye on him. I really didnt think it would be that big of a deal since they were so close in age, but I won't allow it next time. Don't know if this helps you or not, just my 2 cents =-)

  • No it should not include all children in a household. I always appreciated when someone would include both boys for a party but I would never ask .
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  • I would call and tell her since the party is at your house, you don't have room to accomodate siblings.  You can also say that it is a party for 5 year olds, and not meant for older siblings.

    I do have a friend whos children are 18 months apart and one year apart in school.  She will not allow her kids to go anywhere without each other - including parties, playdates and even activities (ie if one child doesn't want to do dance, the other won't have dance lessons).  I do not understand her rationale AT ALL, particularly since I know (same sex) twins who go to separate parties and activities.

  • image SueBear:

    I would call and tell her since the party is at your house, you don't have room to accomodate siblings.  You can also say that it is a party for 5 year olds, and not meant for older siblings.

    I do have a friend whos children are 18 months apart and one year apart in school.  She will not allow her kids to go anywhere without each other - including parties, playdates and even activities (ie if one child doesn't want to do dance, the other won't have dance lessons).  I do not understand her rationale AT ALL, particularly since I know (same sex) twins who go to separate parties and activities.

    Oh my. Those kids are going to resent her and probably each other. That's a little crazy.

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  • I would try and get her on the phone to have an actual conversation and press her a little "I'm not what you meant with your message" and see if you can get to the rationale of why she feels the 11 year old should be invited...babysitting issue or what
  • image SueBear:

    I do have a friend whos children are 18 months apart and one year apart in school.  She will not allow her kids to go anywhere without each other - including parties, playdates and even activities (ie if one child doesn't want to do dance, the other won't have dance lessons).  I do not understand her rationale AT ALL, particularly since I know (same sex) twins who go to separate parties and activities.

    Tongue Tied
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  • To a classmate's party, no.

    But if I got an invitation from a family in my church, I would ask if my other children were invited. However, I wouldn't be pissed if my other kids weren't. The mom is being a moron anyway. 11 year olds at a five year old's party??? Please

    I would tell the mom you simply don't have room for entire families and you were only inviting your child's friends, not their siblings.



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  • No, of course not, and it's especially strange for her to be offended given the age gap! I have three kids and one or two are often not invited. This is especially true when it's a small party and/or the party of a kid from school (vs close family friends). Parties aren't put on for free and often parents are paying for a place with x number of kids within their party package. When my 5-year-old had her party recently, I did find out that a couple of the kids (from class) had siblings and I told the moms that the siblings were welcome too. However, the kids were much closer in age and I had space left over in the party package. (It was a bounce house type of party.) One mom actually asked and offered to pay in case it cost extra but I said no worries. Another mom asked to drop off her daughter, which would have been fine, but since the reason was that she had two other kids, I said go ahead and bring them. They were close in age and knew my oldest daughter so it worked out great.

  • No. This mother is living in some distorted reality. 

     

    " hello Mrs. Entitled - This is birthday boy's mom. I received your message about your daughter not being included on the invite. Im sorry she feels left out but this is my son's birthday party and the kids are old enough now to dictate their invite list. I hope your son can still come but understand if you have an all or nothing philosophy" 

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