I am 28 and dealing with my parents divorce. They were married 29 years when they decided to end things. Now the last 5 or 6 years of their marriage was rocky for various reasons, but the last year of their marriage seems to be the biggest factor in their divorce. My mother has somewhat of a drinking problem and she doesn't acknowledge it. She has been on antidepressants for around 5 years to manage her anxiety. She has had to be institutionalized and still doesn't think she should stop drinking.
Around a year ago was when she was in the hospital, a month later she told us (my sisters and I) that she and my father and her were separating. And 2 months after that she told me that they were going to divorce and that she'd met someone else. I couldn't believe it. As if the divorce wasn't hard enough now she is dating someone?
Over the last year there have been several difficulties. She moved in with this man after just 3 months of dating in order to move out of the house with my sister since they didn't get along. My father later moved back to the house. She then got her own apartment. I thought that was a little better. But now she is moving in with him again.
I have never met this man nor do I intend to. My mother began posting on facebook and sending messages to my friends and family, about her divorce, and about how she won't let anyone hold her down (referring to my sisters and I). My goal isn't to hold her down. I've made a number of attempts to try and tell her that I want her to make healthy decisions. And that moving in with someone after a 30 year marriage was unhealthy. My sisters and I all agree so we have become 'the bad guys.' This is the time of year when our birthdays all fall. My mother is upset because we haven't invited her to events where my dad will be. However she only texts me to tell me how angry and upset she is.
I don't know what to do anymore. She stresses me out and makes me upset and I've been distancing myself. I don't do it because I hate her, I do it because I can't take the emotional toll any longer. I've been called names, talked down to, and yelled at for having an opinion. And I just want to throw in the towel and sever ties with her. Is this okay in any situation? Please give me feedback. And please try not to be condescending.