Sex & Romance
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Re: Thoughts?

  • Bottom line: No one has the right to pressure you or force you into a sex act you don't want to do.

    Your husband needs to make a decision: his wife, or oral. He needs to really understand that he can only have one.

  • Many women are uncomfortable with blow jobs and it can take some time to evaluate and work towards eliminating their bad feelings - if they want to.

     As a young woman I found the BJ to be represented in media and porn as demeaning and a way to have women submit to men. That was my feeling and it made me feel awkward.

    After being in two very respectful relationships where I voiced this to my partners we were able to work through that and I found a compromise I like and also pleased my partner.

    So if you don't want to swallow - don't. Don't like semen on your skin, then no cumming on your body.

    Read some books on how to make this sex act fit your comfort level.

    And a side note, all the nerve endings in a penis are in the head - so you can flavour the head of the penis with a great flavoured lube and start out small.

    Again - you should not do anything you don't want but digging your heels in and fighting over this without addressing it seems unfair to you, him and your child. Do you want to end your marriage over something that you aren't willing to at least discuss and try to work out?

     Good luck. Hug.

  • There are so many bigger issues to fight over! If you do not want to do it. DON'T DO IT. My husband has wanted to try anal and I said no. He has asked a couple of times, but he respects my answer every time. If it is that big of a deal to him that he wants to see a therapist over it, that is RIDICULOUS. Instead of you getting over it, he needs to. As long as you are having sex and doing everything else, it should not be this big of an issue.
  • image binzy2524:
    wow, It is not my favorite thing to do for him but I do it as i know he enjoys it. He better not be giving you oral if your not giving him oral. Is he giving you oral? If he is you are very selfish and acting like a baby. he needs to dump your poor attitude immediately, pretty soon you'll tell him no blow jobs, then no intercourse and ect.... Grow and give him a BJ , a few minutes won't kill you. They also offer classes on how to give BJ's and to make it more comfortable for you. But I doubt you would do it for him with your attitude

    Agree with this 100%. In a marriage you sometimes have to do things for the other person that aren't your favorite things, just to please your partner. He's not asking you to do something completely obscene, so why not do it because HE likes it. Idk about you, but my goal as a wife is to make sure my husband gets what he needs inside and out of the bedroom. If you don't they usually get tired of it and find it elsewhere, and guess what the more I do to please my H the harder he tries to please me. It's a continuous cycle that keeps on giving. If a BJ is important to him, as a wife it should be important to you too. I think woman these days are too feminized. They want the guy to be romantic and take them to the ballet never second guessing it may make him uncomfortable, then won't at least go down on the guy because it makes them uncomfortable. Relationships are about giving and compromising. If you're not comfortable going all the way, why not compromise and agree to do it a few min. and then move on to intercourse that way you're both satisfied. 

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