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Friend vs Friend

I have two extremely close friends having big events on the same day.  Friend A is getting married in another state (approx 8 hours away) and Friend B is having her bridal shower that day (I am a bridesmaid).  I am so torn on what to do.  Friend A's wedding is small (second marriage) and they aren't having a bridal party, but I feel obligated to go to that too.  

HELP!  

Re: Friend vs Friend

  • How far is the bridal shower?

    who asked first?

    would you drive or fly to the wedding, what will it cost you?

     

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Wedding trumps shower, c'mon.  Tell friend B you have to go to a wedding, and go!  
    [IMG]http://i48.tinypic.com/20a9wmp.jpg[/IMG]
  • I agree.  Wedding trumps shower.  Even a 2nd wedding.  I would go to that (as long as I truly WANTED to.  If the shower gives you an excuse to get out of going, that's fine.)

    It's seriously "just" a shower - your friend will survive w/o you there.  I assume there are other BM's to run the shower w/o you.

    I dont' even see this as a "which invitation did you get first?" situation.  Sometimes certain events simply trump other events. 

    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • The shower is no more than 20 minutes from my house.  To be honest, I have no clue who asked first.  

     I am not sure if we would fly or drive yet.  Probably fly.  The cost would be approx. 500 to fly plus hotel.  That really isnt a concern of mine.   

  • Wedding trumps shower, for sure.
  • image Ang2208:

    The shower is no more than 20 minutes from my house.  To be honest, I have no clue who asked first.  

     I am not sure if we would fly or drive yet.  Probably fly.  The cost would be approx. 500 to fly plus hotel.  That really isnt a concern of mine.   

    If the cost or distance isn't a concern then you need to go to the wedding (even if it's the 2nd marriage), it's obviously more important than the shower, and you send a gift to the shower.

    I could not imagine someone not showing up at my wedding with the excuse "I had a shower the same day"  

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Yeah I understand that too, but I feel guilty.  I don't think I would feel so guilty if I wasn't in the wedding.  
  • image Ang2208:
    Yeah I understand that too, but I feel guilty.  I don't think I would feel so guilty if I wasn't in the wedding.  
    Totally understandable.  But I'd hope your friend would be understanding.
    "Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~Benjamin Franklin

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
    DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10

  • image Ang2208:
    Yeah I understand that too, but I feel guilty.  I don't think I would feel so guilty if I wasn't in the wedding.  

    Your friend will understand if you miss her shower, if she doesn't she's the one being unreasonable. Just let her know well in advance that "sorry, which I could but I have a wedding to go to far away that same day"

    You can still help plan the shower too, you just won't be attending. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • image Ang2208:
    Yeah I understand that too, but I feel guilty.  I don't think I would feel so guilty if I wasn't in the wedding.  

    When I was getting married I had 4 showers... I told all the BMs that I hoped they would be able to make it to at least 1, but understood they all had busy lives and other obligations. A wedding is a justified excuse.

    However, I would let the shower bride know asap.  

    image
  • Wedding trumps shower. Unless you are hosting that shower, go to the wedding.
    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
  • Wedding trumps shower.
  • image SirSleepsALot:
    Wedding trumps shower.

    Agreed. 

  • I would go to the wedding.  I'm sure anyone (sane) will understand.
    Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
  • I seriously hate this kind of pathetically critical situation. I would have attended B?s wedding as he is getting married for the first time and you are the bridesmaid too, keep in mind.
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